I think we should give Florida to Mexico. In fact, I’d be willing to give up New Mexico, Arizona, and California as well; we took them from Mexico under very suspicious circumstances, you know…
Problem is that Mexico would probably not want Arizona. New Mexico would probably do OK, I think. California wouldn’t notice; we’re wrapped up in our own little world.
Florida would start kicking and screaming, and my attitude is “so what”. I still haven’t forgiven those idiots for the 2000 election. Regardless of who won, Florida made the whole damn country look a bunch of rubes. Florida is your redneck cousin who opens a can of beer at a funeral. Time for us to stop inviting them to Thanksgiving dinner.
Doesn’t the Constitution have some way of kicking a state out? We should have thought of that after the Civil War! :smack:
I know that Lincoln was right to say that a state couldn’t leave on its own, but this is different. You don’t want your kid to move into an apartment when he’s 16 (despite that having been a dream of mine), but when he’s 35 and still doesn’t have a job and last night threw beer cans all over the back yard again with his greaser friends, then isn’t it time for an amicable parting, reinforced by the police if necessary?
It wasn’t the rednecks who screwed up the election. That part of the state (my part) didn’t have any “chad” or ballot issues. It was those damn Yankees down south who @#$*ed the pooch. Address your insults to them.
Besides, you’re screwing with my plans to solve what used to be the Mid-East crisis (before this one in Iraq).
A couple of years back I came up with the brilliant idea of selling Florida to the Israelis. They could call it “New Israel” and all move here. There are plenty of Jewish people here now and they seem to like it. Plus, given Florida’s geographical position, it wouldn’t cause the transit problems that selling, oh, say, Kansas would.
If we restricted the sale to just penisular Florida, we could even build a nice fence across it for not too much money. (Lately people seem really fond of fencing borders.)
Then we’d see if the issue is really the Palestinian territory. Because if terrorists start setting off bombs in New Israel we’d know all that “Palestinian talk” was just a cover for anti-semitism.
Now, I’ll admit it will make it a bit incovenient to visit Disney World (though some would see that as a plus) but I’m sure the New Israelis would be liberal with the short-term visas.
Sorry. Don’t mean to hijack your thread, but I can’t let you disrupt my plans without a protest.
And I absolutely refuse to turn oven the Grand Canyon to Mexico.
I, too, believe we have too many states. However, I do not agree that any need be expelled from the Union. Instead, I would propose that some be combined, beginning with Arkansaskansas, Vageorgina, and Nevawashaho.
I forgot about the Jeb factor. Go ahead and give them Florida too. NASCAR wants to expand to Mexico, this way the races at Daytona and Homestead will fill the bill.
Admit it 633 you’re actually a secret Floridian agent. We see right through your plan. Florida elects George Bush. He runs up a huge deficit. And then Florida conveniently gets annexed by Mexico and leaves the rest of us stuck with the bill.
OK, now I have to terminate you with extreme prejudice. Do me a favor, OK? To simplify this whole thing, send me an e-mail with your address. Also enclose $15.95 in cash to cover the cost of the bullets; sorry, but I have to ask for cash for security reasons, and the accounting department requires me to discard all the unused rounds. Or, I can bill your family. It’s up to you. The government of the state of Florida is always ready to accomodate…
If we want to recreate the look and feel of the homeland, Florida isn’t going to do. It is too big. What we want to do is relocate Israel to Connecticut and Palestine to Rhode Island. That would be perfect.
