Okay i’m going larping this week and I’m playing a bard that can’t feel pain. I need some reactions to being stabbed, shot, or otherwise harmed. something that should give the others a laugh, like “well that’s unfortunate” or something.
“Thanks for fixing my metal deficiency!” - if shot.
“Help! I’m leaking!”
nah, I want something like the black knight’s responses, in the holy grail
this is just for us, no audience
OK, I edited it.
wait yeah this is what i’m looking for
Wave your hands around to try and swat an invisible fly.
Ouch!
If I could say it any better than Mel Brooks, I would.
Sadly, I cannot.
Inconceivable!
Hey, this is my favorite tunic!
If stabbed, deadpan “you missed”
If shot, do the wonder woman wrist deflect thing
I’d be all like OW! and stuff.
“What’s your point?”
“You have a rapier wit.”
No, no, “Augggghhhhh,” at the back of the throat.
“I appear to have gotten my blood on your blade. Let me clean it for you.”
See the Buffy scene. 
-stare at the stabber, and down the stab wound, then back to the stabber-
“I’ll be sending you the bill from my Tailor!”
I thought “Give me some reactions to getting stabbed” was what John Travolta’s boss told him in Blow Out.