Look you idiots, it’s 3:30 in the goddamn morning. I’m tired, and its the week before finals. I don’t mind you numbskulls smoking, but do it in the smoking area, not on the balcony next to my room. And don’t fucking start making out after I ask you not to smoke. And fucking stop giggling about it.
And above all, don’t fucking tell me I should have just said “go away” in the first place. Don’t give me any kind of lecture on anything when you’re waltzing around in black punk-wannabe sweats at 3:30 while I’m wearing a bathrobe I threw on because you kept awakening me. If I catch you again, I’ll wake up the goddamned RA, the mean one from the first floor too, not the nice one we have on the second floor.
Is that OK? Good, now go felch off.