I have to say, as a retail cashier, most teenagers are more polite than “adults”, especially some of our elderly customers.
That doesn’t mean I don’t like seniors, but many of the ones I have waited on are rude and act like because I’m young (I’m 22 but look about 17) I’m just a stupid snot nose brat.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if people didn’t make sweeping generalizations about anyone and everyone?
A woman in my English clas today was talking about how all old people are slow and take forever to do stuff. I refrained from asking her very loudly to not make sweeping generalizations about age groups.
But I’m pretty sick of the people who decide that the fact that I’m a teenager means I’m out to cause mayhem. The long hair doesn’t help . . . suddenly I’m a crack head. And a woman, from the back . … and the front, sometimes. Isn’t it lovely when your appearance or age dictates what you are to the rest of the world?
I coloured my hair today. Now it’s natural black, which is only a shade or two darker than my normal hair colour. The effect is somewhat striking, but I think I’ll try blue-black to see if I can get it to be a little more dramatic.
Anyway, I casually mentioned to my dad the other day when he was at my place that I was going to do this. That was an interesting conversation.
“Don’t do it, Matt. You need to look like a player.”
“What’s a player?”
“Somebody who’s in tune.”
“Well, considering I have no idea what you’re talking about, what reason do I have to send such a message with my hair?”
“Well, there are better ways to express your non-conformity.”
“Dad, I purchased a bottle of hair dye that lasts for six shampooings. I’m going to put it on my hair and see if I like the colour. If I like the colour, I will dye my hair like that. If I don’t like the colour, I will refrain from dyeing my hair that colour in the future. This decision is purely aesthetic and has no underlying semiotic factors.”
“…Well, don’t do it.”
I suppose that moving out was slightly too subtle a symbol that I would not be requiring further unsolicited aesthetic advice from him.
At any rate, I just think it’s interesting that he expects me to appreciate hair-dye advice from someone with no hair.
relic_11,
I hear ya! I always felt like that as a teen. I was very mature- far beyond my years, actually. I got sick REALLY quick of older people who would tell me they were right because “They had been around” and “When you’re MY age you’ll understand” (said with a smug “you don’t know shit”) look on thier faces.
My advice is to learn to ignore it.(I know how hard it is) I will be 30 in November, and I STILL have people who say that sort of shit to me. “Well, I’ve been working, riding, wiping my ass since before you were BORN!” I usually say somthing like “Well, some of us just learn faster then others”. Just live a good, clean life and let it slide.
On the subject of college and marriage, I got married young (20) and ended up divorced. It all depends on your spouse, in my opinion. I say wait, only because it’s a good way to make sure you’re doing the right thing. My (now) husband and I waited 4 years before marrying, and I’m glad. We were able to see if we would be able to deal with our changing lives, careers, and personalities.
Hang in there, relic_11. I, for one, don’t discriminate against teens. I’ve had more then one thank me for speaking to them like an adult. Seek out people like that and let the rest of 'em pound salt.
Zette
CONGRATULATIONS relic_11! I mean, about the wedding. I am 21 and am just over the age of descrimination. I think no matter where you go you will get someone treating you less than you deserve, but more so when you are young. I never smoked, did drugs or drank when I was 18 (still don’t, except the odd social beverage) and I believe there are good kids out there. People forget all the good things we do like charity work and volunteering and stuff. Don’t give up though.
I also plan on spending the rest of my life with the guy I was with at 18. It can be done, good luck!
And to the rest of you who refuse to see that for every fucked up teenager there are at least two (their parents often) fucked up adults, oh it is not even worth saying!
Wow, talk about deja vu:
Another Teenage Stereotyping Thread
Four days shy of exactly a year apart. Co-een-ki-dink? Or is is something about the Autumnal Equinox that stimulates the teenage angst gland? Freaky-deeky.
You mean you’re not out to cause mayhem? Wuss!
Since we’re battling over-generalization here, I’d like to make one small point. This is the second post in this thread in which someone has insinuated that smoking, doing drugs, or drinking make you a bad person.
I’ve done charity work, volunteered, helped others in more ways that I can name here. I also drink, do the occasional drug, and used to smoke cigarettes for years. Are you saying I’m a bad person?
You may argue that these are all bad things to do, and depending on your perspective on each of them, you could be right. But none of 'em make me a bad person.
In the town I used to live in I was acquainted with a woman who was a Holocaust survivor. She had escaped from the Nazis with her baby while being transported to a concentration camp. A lot of the teenagers in town knew her, partially because she often came to give talks to history classes and partially because she worked in a restaurant across the street from one of the high schools. She was always really nice to the kids and didn’t like to see the adult customers being rude to them (which happened all the time). On one occasion that I know of a businessman told her that he didn’t want “that green-haired punk” sitting next to him at the counter. She told the man that she didn’t want that poor green-haired kid sitting next to someone who was a Nazi in a past life and made the man leave. She was so cool. 
Alright, I got my just desserts with a big fuck you from lunasea.
I’m with Coldfire, though. It’s not really the fact that she’s engaged to a Navy man, it’s that she’s so young, and that her fiance is going to be away for long periods of time. I’ve seen it 100 freakin times. Shit, my own sister married a Marine and he cheated when he was away (fuckin asshole how dare you cheat on my sister you fuckin fuck)on duty, so obviously I’m prejudiced in this regard.
Sorry, I could’ve been more clear before.
Relic, it sounds like you have your shit together, just remember to stop and take a breath before you rush into anything.
I’d just like to add that these teens today - all of their music (ALL of it, without exception) sucks baboon ass. And if they like it so much, they must be a pack of retards. QED
And while I’m thinking about it, hip-hop culture is a crutch for coddled little snot-nose whiteys.
Oh, and once in a while I would appreciate it if I could take a political stand for something I believe in and have people assume that it’s because I have actually made an ethical decision about the society in which I live - you know, just like the big people - rather than just a way for a callow youth to be fashionably non-conformist.
Some of us snotnoses actually do think about things from time to time. Some of us even think about things that need words of four syllables or more, like political philosophy. Some of us are paying attention in class and reading books and getting educated.
Sure, those guys who joined a protest so they could smash McDonalds’ windows are probably thrillseekers, but many of the rest of us at the protest - however we may be dressed - are actually there in order to democratically express our views on the issues that affect our society. Just as if we were citizens.
Go ahead and get married whenever, I say. Even if it dosen’t work out, it is not the end of the world. As a matter of fact, just because a marrige ends in divorce does not mean that the whole experience was a failure. My father’s first marrige didn’t last, but he says it really helped both him and his Ex get through college, supporting each other. Furthermore, the media has brainwashed us to believe that we “should” be having this set of experiences at this age and that if we are not we have “missed out”. I could start a whole pit thread on that. It is complete bullshit. Whatever experiences you have at a given age are worthwhile, and just because it dosn’t fit the Wonder years/ MTV/thirtysomethings/GoldenGirls version of what life oughta be like at a particular stage is irrelevant. You’re missing out on dating a variety of persons, someone else is going to miss out on being young enough to appriciate thier 60th wedding anniversary. Who are we to say which is more worthwhile?
P.S. Just don’t have children until you are old enough to be sure your adult self likes his adult self. Everything changes at that point.
The biggest sign of immaturity - whining about how you are underappreciated, undervalued and how all the old folk don’t respect you.
The Smiths said it best:
You just haven’t earned it yet baby,
You just haven’t earned it my son.
Is it immature to be discontented when people are treating you badly?
Is it immature to feel as though you are not appreciated?
I don’t think the OP was asking for any more respect than is due any person regardless of their age. What would it take to “earn” your respect, and how do you know she hasn’t already done it?
QuickSilver, excellent point.
What a sin this is, you know not what you are missing. Its very easy to live at home, or alone in the suburbs (whatever) and feel that you aren’t missing out, or that you have no desire to do all these things that everyone keeps telling you are so great. Relationships are very simple, and very sincere as teenagers, and most of the emotional change and baggage that makes choosing a life partner so difficult haven’t even begun to develop yet.
Now, I have a fairly extreme opinion on marriage (even though my parents are happily married after 30 years, and I don’t have any bad firsthand experiences). I think its a high risk, low reward venture that isn’t worth doing until you’re ready to start a family (read: have kids). I fully hope to get married, and I’m up in the air on the kids thing, but I can’t rationalize doing it for quite some time. My absolute rule of thumb would be to never get married before you graduate college/grad school (assuming its done in your mid 20’s or before) or complete any military service or other long term obligation. And to make certain that both parties have established careers. Of course if you’re old-fashioned and want a housewife, then the guy must be in a career, and if you’re not doing college/military then you better really be fixed into a good career.
Back to teens and marriage. UIUC is a excellent example, and I think your doubts and fears with come to the surface quickly after a few semesters there. I don’t think “sowing your wild oats” is a expectation, but even if you never stop being an exlusive couple it’ll serve you well to go and learn about life and all those other people before committing to marriage because you simply don’t have the resources to understand what your committing to. You’ll see people that aren’t immature and ignorant and reflect every quality you desire in a man, and even if you still choose to stay with your current bf, you’ll need to experience this temptation before you can confidently commit to marriage.
All too often marrying that first love, and high school sweetheart comes back to bite you in the ass when you start realizing how big the world is in your 30’s. Wait, and be sure, do you honestly think your love will be stronger once you have a ceremony and a legal paper? If you do then you’ll be sadly suprised when it doesn’t fill that hole. Don’t get married because you should, or because mom and dad want you too, or because you’ve been together for so long. Do it because you’re absolutely certain and are ready to provide the security to have kids.
Short answer…wait until your 25 and finish college, U of I will teach you alot about yourself.
Thanks for the support, everyone! This started as a pit thread, but I feel all warm ‘n’ fuzzy now! Y’all are the best, all of you.
BillyBoy, I’m not saying those traits are bad, its just that it pisses me off that they assume that I do them. It’s a big deal to me that I don’t smoke or drink, for reasons I won’t get into, and it’s like they are brushing over a big part of my identity.
MandaJO, No! No kids until we’re in our mid- to late-twenties, more like late. We have names picked though, whatcha all think of Caleb Wayne and Alice Rose? Wayne is his grandfather’s name and his middle name, Rose is my mom’s name.
Ivar, We’ll be apart for one long period of time, three years, and that’s it, But not really, 'cause I’ll be up there with him over summer break, we’ll both be in our home town over Christmas and new years, and he’ll be down here when he’s on leave. Honestly, We’ve known each other for three years, he left for the Navy in August 1999, we started going out in January 2000, and got engaged in April 2000. So for this entire relationship, we really only see each other on weekends, yet our love has grown despite that. I don’t see how the next three years will be so much different. But the advice is appreciated anyway.
Quicksilver, Was it immature for the Jews to “whine” about how they were treated by Hitler’s minions? Is it immature for women who get paid less than men to “whine” about it? Was it wrong for african americans to “whine” about equal rights? Personaly, I think it is a sign of maturity to stand up for your rights and the rights of your kith and kin.
So, :p! (now THAT was immature! :))
BTW, whining, and feeling dicontented are not the same things. QS is right when he says it’s immature to whine about the things in the OP. The mature thing to to either do something about it, or accept the realities of life. They won’t go away, and whining never solves a damn thing.
relic…whining != standing up for yourself. And I’d think blacks and Jews would be less than pleased to hear their social problem broken down to “whining”.
I never experienced this kind of hassle by strangers, because they simply don’t know how old I am. They can’t tell. I look older, I even act older. When I was 15 I could go into clubs, and never get carded. (Not that I tried ;))
But interestingly enough, after people found out how old I am (“You’re 16!? I never would have thought it.” “You’re 17!? Wow, I thought you were older!” etc etc) they started treating me like crap. Did I deserve some of it? Probably. Did I deserve all of it? No.
I plan on getting married in about a year. I’m 18, he’s 21. We’ve been together for about 2 years, and living together for almost all of that time. (For six weeks I was in Utah, and he was in CA) Other than that, we’ve been together. And I feel very confident that we will be together for a very long time. I’ve changed drastically in the 2 1/2 years since we met, and so has he. But I am a very difficult person to live with, hell, I couldn’t even live with me. But for some reason, he still loves me. So I think I’ll keep him.
relic_11 - fair enough.
Actually, in this case, relic’s “whining” seems to have led to an intelligent and (from what I can tell) helpful exchange of views. Or have you all been hurling insults, and just doing it in too subtle and crafty a way for me to catch? I suspect not.