Goddammit Dottie, stop eating my underwear

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

First it was dirty underpants stolen from the laundry basket. I’d find a pair or two on the floor, the crotch chewed out. That I could sort of understand; they’re stinky and flavorful, right? So we put the basket up where she couldn’t reach it.

But still occasionally she would somehow manage to get one of those tasty treats. Maybe I forgot and left them in reach, or they missed the basket and fell on the floor. Grrr. OK, I guess we’ll always close the bedroom door so she can’t get in.

Well, this morning I was in a hurry and left not only the bedroom door open, but also my underwear drawer, which is second from the bottom in the dresser. Apparently clean underwear is just as tempting as dirty. I lost all but four pairs, plus whatever happens to be in the wash, and the pair I’m wearing right now.

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Oh well, a lot of them were ratty anyway; time to hop online and order up a new batch.

I have no idea why manufacturers assume that women who wear plain cotton briefs want them in (a) white, (2) pale pastels, or (3) ugly florals. I am not a delicate flower. I want my underwear to be DARK: red, blue, green, purple, black. Maybe a few white or beige pairs to reserve for wearing under light clothing.

It took me a while, but I finally found some cotton briefs in a nice selection of solid dark colors. And they were even on sale! Yay me. Still, I hadn’t been planning to drop more than $100 on underwear today.

It sucks to have a dog with an underwear fetish.

2

I have a cat with a plastic bag fetish. We try to use paper bags as often as possible in this household. He’s also quite fond of tinsel and ribbons.

3

My family used to have a dog that would even eat the crotch out of clean jeans. Little pervert.

4

My dogs are kind enough to devour my undies, shorts, pants, dresses, etc. One ill-placed laundry basket and I get a new wardrobe.

In other news, evidently, they like my toddlers panties too. As if potty training isn’t hard enough on them…

5

Maybe it’s just a cat thing. Both of my cats love to chew on plastic bags. We have to make sure that we put them away or the cats will go to town on those things.

6

I stayed at a boyfriend’s house one summer when I was in college, who had a dog that would steal my dirty undies out of my laundry basket and leave them, chewed up and disgusting, all over the house. It was seriously embarrassing; who wants their boyfriend’s father to find their underwear all dirty and chewed up in the middle of the living room??

7

We also had a dog that did this. I guess the temptation is too great.

8

I gotta wonder: Is it just women’s underwear that they go for? As far as I can recall, she’s never gone for Mr. S’s briefs. But she did get into my gym bag and chew up a pair of workout shorts and a sport bra (probably sweaty). So now I have to keep my gym bag either zipped up or out of reach too. Grrr.

9

My wife made the mistake of taking a rubber band part from one of our kids toys that one of our cats had been playing with and putting it away in her underwear drawer.
That cat turned out to be vindictive and long memoried (possible definition of “cat”).

Now, if that drawer is ever left even a 1/2 inch open, Bad Cat will fish in a paw and yank out / shred her panties, her bras, or whatever other of her clothing in the drawer it can sink its living fish-hooks in to.

10

Suddenly I’m glad that my cat just steals my underwear instead of eating it. Sometimes he even brings it back to me.

11

This just tickles me so. :smiley:

Apropos of your name. And I agree…I despise light colored or patterned underwear. Dark and solid, usually black or grey, they must be.