Goddamn CRAMPS! (Guys, this is about periods, you don't want to read)

Takmaria is an Indian herb/spice – it says on the packet “edible vegetable seeds”, so make of that what you will! About half a teaspoon of these soaked in water for ten minutes, and then drunk actually goes a long way towards reducing not only period cramps, but also the volume of flow. Its normally used in some Indian sweets such as faluda, but about 8 months ago, when I was cramping really badly in the States, at my aunt’s house, she showed me this trick, and boy, did it work. But yes, it does look kind of reminscent of frog spawn after its been soaking.

Ohh, yes. Stomach cramps, back cramps, butt cramps, leg cramps. For the first couple of days whenever I stand up it feels like my ass is sloooowly sliding down the backs of my legs and any moment I will turn around and see it jiggling on the floor like some kind of bi-spherical Jello mold. The euphemism for periods around my house is, “My ass is falling off!”

My husband discovered that if he grabs my butt in both hands and lifts firmly - almost to the point of lifting me off the floor - it greatly eases the cramps and muscle tension in my whole body. It’s amazing, like flicking a switch; butt up, body goes blissfully limp. I think he regrets this, though, because now I spend a lot of time pestering him to hold my butt up.

There’s a patent there for some kind of butt-sling, I know there is…

I’d guess that’s your hip flexors again–the psoas muscle anchors to your spine in your lower back, so if it tightens up it can pull your back out of alignment.