[QUOTE=cowgirl]
See, it’s not that simple. To achieve “normal” female appearance is not simply a matter of refraining from doing things that appear male. The default low-maintenance “simple and comfortable” dress (jeans, T-shirts, Chuck Taylors, etc) is marked as “masculine,” simple as that.
[/QUOTE]
That cannot be a serious statement. Jeans, T-shirts, Chuck Taylors are absolutely a staple of the American female wardrobe, The Gap, Old Navy and the big box-ers like Wal-Mart and Target sell just this type of thing in great numbers. Granted, the age appropriate-ness of this type of gear hovers somewhere between 15 and 21, but still.
[QUOTE=cowgirl]
Some women look quite feminine, and can dress like butch dykes, and nobody will mistake them for being males, because of other indicators (feminine features, body shape, etc). Other women can wear the exact same outfits and be mistaken for men all the time. For such a woman to dress in a way that you would consider “normal” (i.e. one that would immediately mark them as female) would require quite an imposition of effort. Traditional markers of femininity - blowdried hair, make-up, heels, pantyhose, skirts, etc - all of these require substantial time, effort and money to maintain.
[/QUOTE]
Again I disagree. You can dress in precisely female attire and not do any of the things you mention, unless you want to. Which, really is what it boils down to, truthfully, you do what you want to do, to be where you want to be in society.
[QUOTE=cowgirl]
I am fortunate to be one of the former sorts of women, I can keep a low-maintenance look and I only get mistaken for a dyke when I shave off all my hair (the rest of the time, it is ponytailed; still, my Blundstones and jeans and bike jackets are not enough to mark me as “male,” although they would be if some of my friends were wearing them). But for me to mark myself as female, to put on make-up and high heels and a skirt, would be a substantial imposition on me, probably as much as it would be to any man or woman of any gender identification (in other words, it would be as difficult for me, a non-dyke-identified female, to dress in traditionally feminine ways, as it would be for magellan or buttonjockey or anyone else).
[/QUOTE]
This is simply a manifestation of the desire to be apart from the majority of society, which again, is totally cool, but you cannot be righteously angry at a society that won’t conform to YOUR desire to be apart from them.
[QUOTE=cowgirl]
To require me to do this in order to be permitted to use a public bathroom would be incomprehensibly rude, so much so that I don’t have the words to adequately describe how unacceptable it would be. To the naysayers, what would your response be if someone told you your dress was inappropriate and barred you from peeing in a public place? I submit that your response is dependent on the degree to which your usual dress matches the expected norms. If you were barred from the mens room because of your kilt, would you be okay with that?
[/QUOTE]
Well, here’s where we split cultural hairs and get honest, all at the same time. First, a kilt IS men’s wear in certain cultures, so the reason WHY I was denied access to the trough will determine how insensitive the denial “We don’t let no skirt wearin fairies in here to piss” OR “We hate Scotsmen, get out” Both are insensitive, however neither necessarily against the law, further, both are perfectly fine reasons to deny someone access to the bathroom that a) You don’t own, b)You’re asking permission to use and c) Isn’t paid for OR maintained by tax money. Granted, they’re politically incorrect, and yes, even insensitive, but that is where, IMO, it starts and ends.
[QUOTE=cowgirl]
The only difference between me and Ms Farmer is that my hair is longer and my skin is a different colour. So I have no trouble sharing her horror at her experience.
Can I please repeat my non-rhetorical question for anyone who is still listening and who thinks the violation was not all that bad: Where was she supposed to pee? The men’s room? If you were barred from the mens room because of your kilt, would you be okay with simply using the womens?
[/QUOTE]
Can’t you see what an impossible position it is for any such person to be in?
[/QUOTE]
Was it an embarrasing thing? I haven’t a second of doubt. Is it worth tying up court for? Good lord no. I would think the press alone would rile the gay community (they’re a vocal and activist bunch, Goddess love em) enough to keep the pressue on this joint until he was driven out of business the old fashioned way.
Hell yes I’d use the women’s. The women probably wouldn’t like it very much, but I’d go in, if the owners demanded it. I’m crazy like that. Besides, I’ve always wanted to see how much better the bathrooms are anyway, I hear tell of couches, and footstools and cold water dispensers.
Finally, I think this needs to be stressed above everything I’ve said so far; when you go out into the world, you are ON YOUR OWN. No one HAS to let you pee, no one HAS to let you shit in THEIR bathroom. Many places do because it just makes them good citizens, but no place is really obligated to allow this.
Now, I still think it was trashy and insensitive of the bouncer to boot her out, even after she was willing to produce ID, and it’s not something that I would have done, were I in the spot of the bouncer, but I don’t think suing is the correct course of action.
