I don’t know if it’s an Italian custom that has spread to other ethnic groups or if it’s a NYC area custom - but until my own wedding, I had never seen an actual wedding gift ( and even then, there were 200 guests and a single box) . I’d come across the concept in etiquette books and such- but I’d never actually seen one. Every single wedding I went to involved envelopes with checks or cash. Dishes , silverware, glasses etc were shower gifts.
At some weddings I’ve been to, including mine, it was a custom for the bride and groom to shoosh a piece of the wedding cake into each others faces, sort of aiming for the mouth. Is this a Jewish custom, an American custom or what.
Jewish? Definitely no. American? Could be.
Hm, my extended family is from Johnstown, PA (one train station over from Altoona), and out of the many, many family weddings I’ve been to, I’ve only seen one dollar dance (and many of the guests had to have it explained to them.
We definitely do the cake-smooshing, though. And the wedding isn’t official until the couple has danced a polka at the reception.
I’ve heard of that…back in like, medieval times. You mean there are people who still do that?
The cookie table! You can’t have a wedding here in Western PA without one. And almost all of them are homemade, too – getting them from a bakery or the caterer is a no-no.
Now I read how a few times that the bride and groom, being immature and maybe a little crazy/drunk that day, get carried away and end up in a big cake fight and ruining the entire cake. So seeing how a wedding cake can cost over $1,000 and none of the guests got none, this isnt so popular and more than one wedding cake maker has made sure the “cutting of the cake” ceremony is done on a small cake away from the main one.
An American tradition is the “Stag Party” for the groom and his best friends where they take the groom out and they all get drunk and maybe there are some strippers and hookers present. This is usually why its good the grooms and brides fathers are present.
This also happens with the bride and her friends where they have a big blowout with male strippers.
Something that’s common both to bodas gitanas (Spanish Roma weddings) and to the stratospheric classes is changing dresses several times. Nowadays for gitanos it is usually three dresses, with the bride wearing a white one for the vows-and-paperwork part, changing into a fancy party dress for the main meal and into faralaes for the danging.
There has been a documentary series on Spanish TV called palabra de gitano, “a gypsy’s word”, which was criticized among other things for being too “typical and topical”, talking too much about the differences. At the same time, it was used by many people as a trigger for actual in-person conversation about issues that were taboo out of ill-conceived delicacy: yes, it’s ok to ask “so what’s with all the dresses?”! A coworker explained that first, getting those dresses means you’re not getting others, second, both the white and fancy ones can be “trimmed down” to more daily-wear versions, and third, a faralaes you’re going to need anyway at some point, may as well do it for your wedding!
For generic Spanish weddings we usually have a godfather and godmother, or patron and matron of honor, whose role is both that of main witnesses and, in the case of religious weddings, to act as marriage counselors. No bestman, the closest I’ve seen to that role is the groom’s best friend going to pick up the bride from her home and drive her to the location. If the ceremony allows for it, the groom will walk with the godmother on his arm to the altar/judge’s desk and the godfather will walk with the bride on his. Where English-language media talks about “giving the bride away”, Spanish media (including translations) will talk about “bringing the bride to the altar”.
I had two bachelor (stag) parties. One with my family, one with my college friends.
The one with my family was far more out of control, with both my Father-in-law and my Father present. I blame it all on one of my many uncles.
I came in to refrain from mentioning that also. For those who don’t know about it I’ll give you a hint, it ain’t the Funky Chicken.
“Funky Chicken!” My wife calls our Golden that, all the time.
I thought it so bizarre and ideosyncratic–and, naturally, just right and endearing when she says it (you have to be there, I guess)–but I thought she just threw those two words together and never bothered to inquire if they had any other (non)meaning or association.
Either someone will tell me or I’ll have to wait till tonight when she gets home to find out what it means to the rest if the world…
There is an American tradition to save/freeze the small top tier of the wedding cake. The newlyweds share it on their first anniversary.
“Decorating” the car the newlyweds will use to depart the ceremony. Tying strings of tin cans to the bumper was popular for a while. Very noisy. Writing ‘Just Married’ with whipped cream on the rear window or trunk. And so on. Our car was decorated with crepe paper and whipped cream - the whipped creme smeared as we drove away and we ended up going to a car wash to get it all off. What a mess.
I was at a wedding where the groom’s brother who was also Best Man wrote messages on the soles of the groom’s shoes so they would be visible to the audience when the couple were kneeling at the altar. I think the messages were “Save Me!” and “Too Late!”
The Chicken Dance is just one of a decent-sized collection of songs DJs use to get guests out onto the dance floor (with the hope that, once there, they’ll continue to dance to other songs). Other songs used for this purpose include the Macarena, Locomotion, the Electric Slide, and the Cha Cha Slide.
Not to mention “YMCA” by the Village People. It amuses me no end that a gay anthem (even if a tongue-in-cheek one) has became a standard at straight weddings (not to mention sporting events).
Our car was decorated by the best man, maid of honor and other hangers-on, too.
My bride and I agreed ahead of time that we would feed each other a single big bite of wedding cake and not smoosh it into each other’s faces, despite calls from several of our more raucous guests to do so.
Queen Victoria and her courtiers had a similar idea: Care for some cake? Leftovers from 1840 royal wedding | UK news | The Guardian
Oh, another tradition from Appalachia (and possibly other parts of the US): Every so often during the reception dinner, the guests will start clanging their silverware against their glasses. Other guests pick it up, and it gets louder and more annoying, until the bride and groom stand up and kiss (and the kiss had better be good enough).
I’m not sure how the happy couple ever manages to finish their meal.
I’ve see that (guests clanging silverware to elicit a kiss from the new couple) in weddings in New England.
I’ve seen it everywhere. Never thought about where it originated.
Yes, the tradition as I understood it is that the bride and groom feed each other a piece of cake. Depending on sense of humor or inebriation or lack of solemnity at the reception, one or both may try to emulate the pie-in-face routine.
I’ve seen that in Canada too. Some may try different tricks to save the noise. When I got married, the in-laws decreed a scavenger hunt instead - put an item on the list in the basket up front and the couple has to kiss. One of the items was “Canadian Tire money” and apparently they had a wad of these (store coupon) bills they were handing out to the guests. Kept us busy.