I’m talking about that dance where the bride and groom carry around a cup or something and people stuff money into it. My cousin is currently planning my brother’s wedding, and she has this planned for the reception. Personally, I think it’s extremely tacky - especially when people will have bought gifts for the couple, and many are spending a ton of money to come in from out of town. However, I do understand that it’s not my place to decide whether or not they get to do it, although it seems to me that my brother’s fiance isn’t thrilled with the idea but she’s going along with it so she doesn’t upset my cousin.
Do you guys think it’s tacky? And since my cousin seems gung-ho on going through with it, even if the bride isn’t thrilled with it, should I take my cousin aside and have a talk with her? She’s pretty much a sister to me, so we always tell each other everything anyway. I don’t see why this should be any different.
Why not just have the bride table dance for the men?
I also have always found the bouquet tossing - garter removal and tossing to be embarrassing for the women for a reason that I have never been able to completely pinpoint.
Well, I love my brother, but he is…to put it nicely…a big ol’ wuss when it comes to things like this. He never wants to hurt anyone’s feelings, or get involved in heavy family things. And my sister-in-law-to-be doesn’t seem to want to upset my cousin.
However, since I happily discuss my sex life with my cousin and we’ve compared boob jobs in the hot tub (we made her husband cover his eyes), I have no problem telling her everything, including this. My only concern is that it may not be my place, even if neither the bride nor groom want it, but they’re just too wimpy to tell my cousin.
And I’m glad someone else thinks it’s tacky. I really thought I was alone in that. I find it incredibly tacky, especially if I’ve just put down $75+ on a wedding gift for someone and traveled to make the wedding (which typically happens with weddings I attend).
If you don’t want to press your opinion on the future bride and groom, say, “I have an opinion on this money dance. Would you care to hear it?” Keep your mouth shut if they say no.
I’ve never heard of this tradition before, and I agree that it’s extremely tacky. May as well have them lapdance for dollars.
I, personally, also agree that it’s disgustingly tacky. However, I have seen videos of weddings (god help me :rolleyes: ) where this took place, and no one seemed to think so. At least, not on camera. So, I’m wondering if it might be a cultural thing. Maybe the guests are expected to bring presents to these types of receptions?
Let me add to the tacky votes. However I saw one couple walk away with over $1500 (large wedding of course) from a dance like this which kind of makes you say hmmm… For that much cash I know I would overlook the tacky factor. They say everyone has their price, I guess we know mine on this issue.
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I, personally, also agree that it’s disgustingly tacky. However, I have seen videos of weddings (god help me ) where this took place, and no one seemed to think so. At least, not on camera. So, I’m wondering if it might be a cultural thing. Maybe the guests are expected to bring presents to these types of receptions?
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Probably is cultural- I’m half Sicilian, and those envelopes that people give to the bride aren’t in addition to a present - they are the present. I never saw an actual, in a box and wrapped wedding present until my friends started getting married.
My (now -ex) wife did this at our wedding as she is Polish and this was a tradition for her family. It was huge fun for everyone and she stayed up till 11:00 PM counting the money. We netted $ 2, 800. in cash.
Tacky… well maybe to some folks, but people are far more willing to donate in the spirit of a fun party exercise (with an open bar), and a lot of the cash was not in pre-planned envelopes that we would have gotten anyway (and did) , but came out of opened wallets and purses, and to two strapped newlyweds the money was like gold. The money envelopes totaled 650. The dance was near 3,000.
So tacky that I refused to have one—my sister’s wedding money dance was horrifying to me as a 16 year old bride’s maid, the ugly formal aside! In our hometown people pay a dollar to dance with the bride and groom, pinning the mony to the wedding clothes. The ladies made a tail of dollar bills on my new brother in law!
I was recently at a wedding where they had the guests pay to dance with the bride and groom and I thought it was incredibly tacky. It wasn’t the fact that we’d driven 500 miles and paid for a hotel room; it just seemed like such a brazen way to get money. A cover charge would be more appropriate. Also one the guests is sure to take the emergency fifty from his wallet and say, “I wonder if the bride will…” and receive a few swift kicks under the table from his wife and sister-in-law.
I also think this is part of an overall trend where weddings increasingly resemble children’s parties, with lots of activities to keep the guests entertained.
To semi-echo astro, I think this may be a cultural thing. The version I heard was a helluva lot more sexist, though.
In that case, the male guests each take a turn dancing with the bride, pinning dollars to her wedding veil. After that dance, the groom’s mother removes the bride’s veil, gives it to the groom, and ties an APRON around the bride’s waist, at which point the process is repeated. The groom getrs the veil money, the bride gets the apron money.
At the wedding of my step-nephew (is that real?) the couple put out a large jug to collect money. The idea that they had was to get people to put in a dollar to get the bride and groom to kiss, instead of the old spoon clink on the glass. They made it clear that any money raised was going to a charity. They donated over $600.
