Wedding Poll: What Reception Traditions Are Exclusive / Common In Your Area?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Well, the traditional wedding month of June is coming to a close. Another round of late/spring early summer wedding parties are wrapping up, guys who were best men and ushers are done getting calls from their rental shop telling them to hurry up and return their tuxes in time for proms and the ‘Happy Anniversary’ card racks at the Hallmark store are nearly empty.

I thought for sure there’d be a wedding poll or two in IMHO this year, but perhaps I missed it. Having just returned a wedding in Peru, (thank God it was the 2nd of two I had to RSVP ‘yes’ to this June), I got to thinking about local wedding reception traditions.

I guess the only problem with doing a poll like this is: How would one know whether a wedding reception tradition they constantly see near home was a local phenomenon unless they’ve been to at least a few weddings outside there local area?. Well, to be frank, I don’t have a good answer to that question. If you haven’t travelled to other areas to attend a wedding reception, I guess you’d have to base it on the comments of non-locals who’ve commented on something they’d never seen before. I also concede the point alot of traditions aren’t geographical in nature - but are more cultural, religious or economic. But what the hell, no one said this kind of stuff was scientific. They’re just observations…Of course YMMV.

In my area of New York (Usually - There are no rules):

Cocktail Hour / Introductions / Dancing / Sit Down Dinner / Dancing again / Dessert / Tip the Valet and head home.

Venue: Usually at a reception hall, occasionally at a K of C or Elks Club. Of all the weddings I’ve attended in my area of the country, I’ve only been to one that was hosted at someone’s house. Most people in this area just don’t have the room and property size needed to set up a tent and seating for 100+ in their yard.

Cocktail Hour: Almost always my favorite part of the wedding. Usually held either outdoors or in a different room than the dinner (which seems to be less common outside my area). Soft musak is usually piped in during cocktail hour, (though I have seen an occasional carribean band at receptions on the beach or a string quartet at the more classy ones). Based on a few weddings I’ve been to up in the Bay State, Massachusetts seems to be alot more into the whole string quartet thing than we are down here. Food served is usually standard fare - Finger foods, etc. Make your own taco bars are starting to become more common.

The Bar: Having an open bar throughout the entire reception is a literal requirement here in NY (Whereas having a cash bar seems to be more prevalent outside of NY - even in Southern NJ). With the exception of dry Presbyterian receptions (which I’ve fortunately never attended), alcohol is served from start to finish. If guests here in NY were ever informed there was a cash bar, they’d probably burn the reception hall to the ground and go home.

Introductions: IMHO probably the stupidest part of any wedding. In fact, at my wedding we insisted on being able to attend our cocktail hour instead of having to mug for pictures for that hour. This way we were able to enjoy ourselves, have a couple drinks and socialize a little. The additional benefit was obvious: we didn’t have to be introduced with overdone fanfare. The way I see it, we were already introduced by the priest after the whole you may kiss the bride thing. I’ve seen other weddings here where ushers cross swords and make the new couple walk under the procession. I’ve heard the Star Wars theme and Also Sprach Zarathustra played by a DJ at others. But the weirdest intro of all was at a party in Queens read by someone who couldn’t even pronounce the new couples names correctly ; As the newlyweds were introduced, they rose up from under the floor on some type of freight elevator thing with the smoke machine going and the disco ball whirling. To be honest with you, I thought I was at a Parliment/Funkadelic concert.

Dancing / Entertainment: I guess it runs about 50/50 live band vs DJ around here. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. In either case, the following staples are almost an unwritten rule: Hot Hot Hot (With the imminent conga line), We Are Family (by Sister Sledge), The Electric Slide (With most middle-aged white men looking like morons on the dance floor) and the Macarena (shudder).

Dinner: The overwhelming majority around here are sit down dinners. Buffets seem to be more acceptable and customary outside NY. I personally prefer buffets - and insisted upon one at my reception (that’s probably due to the fact I’m a cavone when it comes to food and assume others are too). At a sit down dinner in NY, the choices are almost always identical: Prime rib, chicken (cordon bleu or caccitore) or salmon. Occasionally, you’ll see a 4th vegetarian entree offered, but that’s rare.

Other Observations[ul]
[li]Around here, if you RSVP yes, you’d better show up or risk being written about on the NY Post’s Page 6. In other places, attendance doesn’t appear to be as mandatory as it is here (but that may be due to the $150 plate charge)[/li][li]In NY, if the reception starts at 6PM, you better get yer ass there on time. Tardiness is a big no-no. In other parts of the country, showing up late doesn’t appear to be such a big deal. Both down south and in Peru, I noticed most guests were well over an hour late…it was like attending a show at the Apollo Theater.[/li][li]Attire: Around here, Guys are still expected to wear a jacket and tie, Ladies are expected to show a little leg. Men who aren’t in the wedding party should not wear a tuxedo though. I’ve seen guests in tuxedos in other places, but never in NY. On the other side of the coin, I’ve been to a couple of weddings in the midwest and have seen people show up in flip-flops.[/li][li]The Bride Feeds the Groom (vice versa): The cake mushing in the face thing seems to be fairly common around here. I see it much less frequently in other places.[/li][li]The Vienese Table: Normally an Italian thing (where the Austrian name comes from I haven’t a clue) - but becoming more common in NY. A.K.A. The ultimate in excess. A cart the size of a brinks truct with every dessert ever invented since the dawn of time.[/li][li]After the Wedding: Around here, people are usually so stuffed, sated and drunk they go home. I’ve noticed post-reception parties at a local bar or club seem to be more common in other areas. [/ul][/li]I’m sure there are others, but those are the first few that come to mind. So what about you? Care to share?

2

West Virginia weddings, many times, will have a potluck reception. Everyone brings a covered dish and the reception is basically like a church potluck, only there’s a wedding cake, everyone’s dressed up and there’s presents.

Also here (and also where I grew up in western KY), alcohol is very uncommon. The only people that have alcohol at their weddings are either the rich and/or non-religious folks. (If they’re rich but religious, there probably will be no booze served but they may do it anyway just to show off in front of their rich friends). Generally, it’s just not done. In some circles, it’s flat out unthinkable.

I haven’t seen/heard of too many sit-down dinner receptions here, either. Probably because most people can’t afford it.

In Kentucky, but not WV, a groom’s cake is common. Usually it’s chocolate. I’m not sure why it’s done.

3

I’m living in Ohio, but grew up in VA and will be married there in two months, so I’m more versed on those traditions. I’ve also attended two weddings in WV.

Open bar - cash bar is considered incredibly rude. You either have an open bar, serve limited types of alcohol, or you don’t serve alcohol at all. The two WV weddings I’ve been to served no alcohol whatsoever.

Ceremony - our family, my brother being married last year, us this year, tends to go for outdoor, garden ceremonies. Others in our family do churches, but it tends to split 50/50 between friends. One WV ceremony was in a church, one was in the gazebo of a hotel.

Reception venue - we chose to have ours in the same garden/venue as the ceremony, as did my brother and his wife. If it’s in a church, they typically tend to go to a hotel or reception hall.

Food - the WV church wedding was cake and punch, the other was sit-down dinner for 85. The weddings I’ve attended lately have been either buffet dinner or heavy hors d’oeuvres. I don’t know many in my area who LIKE a sit-down dinner simply because it takes too much time. We’re doing heavy hors d’oevres after a cocktail hour.

The one thing that doesn’t seem to change is the schedule. Typically, it’s Ceremony/Pictures-Cocktail Hour (at the same time)/wedding party introduction/food served/first dance/other dances/guest dancing/toast/cake cutting/more dancing/goodbyes. This has been the same at all three weddings I’ve been to lately.

Attire - coat and tie for men, knee-length sundress for women (in summer). I tend to wear black simply because I like it - which isn’t as prevalent in VA weddings, but acceptable for the NJ and NY weddings I’ve attended. However, my bridesmaids and my MIL are wearing black. I’m hoping it won’t turn too many heads.

Music - always traditional except for my best friend’s wedding (she had an Irish band). We’re having a DJ but staying FAR away from the usual stuff and sticking to Big Band and Oldies.

Ava

4

A “Jack and Jill” party.

I had never heard of this until I met my husband who is from the New England Region. (I’m from the mid west)

Very possibly they have them in the mid west too but in 30-some years I just hadn’t heard of it.

I am still not sure exactly what a Jack and Jill party is. My inlaws talk about a Jack and Jill party as being given before the couple get married. Someone throws a big party with music and dancing and booze, and people show up and give money (??) or maybe gifts to the couple. Not sure if someone throws the bride a wedding shower in addition to this.

5

Out here in Vegas, anything goes! Everything from getting hitched by a Justice of the Peace at the courthouse to drive-thru weddings to Elvis to the extravigant at the places like the Bellagio & Ritz Carlton.

My wedding we had the ceremony and the reception at the same site. Evening ceremony, cocktail & hors d’overs hour (open bar for 4 hour reception), buffet dinner with beef & chicken, salad, pasta, vegetable etc, dancing. For desert there was fresh fruit, vieneese treats, and of course my super yummy cake (red-velvet with strawberry bavarian cream filling and whipped cream frosting mmmmm cake mmmmm…).

I decided to pay for the open bar because I had been to so many dang weddings where it was a cash bar (tacky) and the drinks were small, weak and overpriced ($5 or more each :eek: ) Everone had a great time and it still teling me what a great time they had. (maybe it was the free drinks all night :wink: )

I do remember somthing about 99% of the midwestern weddings I have ever been to. They would have a money/dollar dance. Pay a dollar to dance with the bride or groom for short period of time.

6

Potluck reception? It sounds interesting. Kinda like a ribfest.

Ya know, I never noticed a groom’s cake at any wedding reception I’ve ever been to anywhere - I stopped counting back at 60 something. But then again, I rarely pay notice to the regular wedding cake either. I assume a chocolate groom’s cake is a southern tradition, like in that movie where Sally Fields(?) made an aarvark cake for her future son-in-law.

Do you know if the dry policy is cultural or religious? I’ve heard the Presbyterians are strict about booze at weddings (even though wine was served at the last supper). Do Baptists also adhere to a dry-reception policy?

Cake and punch? If you adhere to the ‘it’s not what you serve, but who you’re serving’ rule, I guess it doesn’t matter what the hosts offer in terms of food and drink. As for me, cake and punch make it sound more like a Junior High School prom than it does a wedding.

Jack and Jill parties are co-ed wedding showers. A clever ruse devised by feminists in an effort to make future husbands as miserable as their future brides as they take turns wearing the bow hat.

See, there is a benefit to the huge influx of expat NY’ers moving to Sin City (and North Carolina). We’re starting to have an influence on the open bar policy in other states.

Dollar dances. Now that you mention it, I have seen them - Not sure if it was at a wedding I attended, a movie I saw or a drag show though

7

In Thunder Bay, Ontario, the public are inivted to participate in shags with the bride and groom. Ne shitteth vous pas.

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Do you know if the dry policy is cultural or religious? I’ve heard the Presbyterians are strict about booze at weddings (even though wine was served at the last supper). Do Baptists also adhere to a dry-reception policy?

Probably both, but religion probably tips the scales over culture. Non-religious people (here and in KY) probably would have booze at the wedding if they wanted to, and felt like springing for it. Many churches, however, won’t allow a reception to be held at the church if there is going to be a bar.

I grew up Baptist; I never, ever saw a Baptist wedding with alcohol. Ever. Or dancing, but that was more due to this old dried up Baptist rule against dancing that nobody follows anymore. It’s one of those traditions that just won’t die. If you were Baptist and wanted to dance at the reception, you could still do the ceremony in the church but you’d have to go elsewhere for the reception.

9

The dollar dance—my husband refused to participate and my family is still bummed after 20 years and a divorce.
The bride and groom dance and the guests cut in–for a dollar that they get to pin on the bride and/or groom where ever they choose. The groom usually ends up with a long tail of cash. This is considered great fun in the Bakersfield to Fresno area of Central California.

10

I grew up in Oklahoma and moved up here to the NYC area much later.

Up here they do something that I never heard of in the midwest.

After the boquet is tossed and the garter is tossed the guy who caught the garter puts it on the leg of the woman who caught the bouquet. He puts it up as far as he dares.

I didn’t find out about this till after I caught the garter!!!

I think the infamous Chicken Dance is regional to the upper midwest.
I think the dollar dance is a hispanic thing. That’s where I’ve seen it.

11

Around here people usually get married in the church and retire to the local VFW hall for the reception. Champagne may be served for the toast, but for serious drinking they’ll tap a keg. Soda is also supplied. Food is served buffet style, usually cold cuts, raw veggies, and various kinds of bread rolls, with maybe some chips and dip or something from a crock pot. Generally, the first song the DJ plays as the bride and groom enter the reception is “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen, usually followed by Nazareth’s “Son of a Bitch.”

Mind you, I don’t go to many weddings, but the ones I have been to have followed this pattern.

Hmm. Reading back over this post, it occurs to me that the weddings I’ve attended have been kind of tacky.

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Well, I suppose it started as a religious thing, but religion tends to be such a big part of Southern culture that things like that tend to get ingrained in the culture of even the non-religious. My family isn’t particularly religious, but only myself, my brother, and one aunt and uncle pair drink at all. There’s no reason, really, it’s just not something we do. There are lots of families like that around home.

We wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of having a bar at our reception, exept that the room came with a bar and bartender. I think Dr.J and I were the only ones who drank at all, and that was a couple of beers apiece. (Yes, we did our wedding toast with beer. Yes, anyone who finds that tacky is perfectly welcome to bite my big ol’ butt.)

Of course it doesn’t matter what the hosts are serving, because the refreshments aren’t the point of the gathering. The point is to celebrate the happiness of people you care about. If the love, support, and fellowship is there, it doesn’t matter if you’re having ice water and bread crusts, because you’ve accomplished your purpose. If the love, support, and fellowship isn’t there, it doesn’t matter if you’re having filet mignon because you’ve missed the whole point of a wedding.

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[nitpick] Actually, the song is entitled ‘Hair Of The Dog’ [/nitpick].

The GnR cover version was on the playlist I made my DJ spin. It was a pretty good segue if I recall; The Cult’s ‘Love Removal Machine’ => GnR’s version of ‘Hair Of The Dog’ => Twisted Sister’s ‘I Wanna Rock’. A few years later, when John Prine / Iris DeMent released ‘In Spite Of Ourselves’ I remember lamenting the fact it was available in time for our reception.

It wasn’t my intention to offend and I sincerely apologize. I was just being a smartass with my JHS prom comment & I definitely don’t want you sicking your army of cats on me. I agree with your sentiments (well for the most part at least - I’m still non-commital on serving prison food). I think the larger point is: Newlyweds (up in my neck of the woods) go way overboard when hosting a reception. I’ve seen couples spend-away a decent down payment on a house in order to dazzle and impress their guests for a day.

14

In Pennsylvania, the Viennese Table becomes the “cookie table”. Again, this originally was an Italian custom, but I’ve seen the cookie table at Slovak, Polish, Greek, German and black weddings in the Pittsburgh area. It’s become universal.

It’s a nice custom, too. All of the cookies are generally baked by the family. It’s their contribution to the fare of the evening, since the receptions are generally catered these days.

Our wedding was in Virginia, but I’m a Pittsburgh native, so my mother insisted that this be done. I wasn’t inclined to argue the point, especially since the women in my family are wonderful bakers. They brought over 1200 cookies to a reception that only 115 people attended. We had tons of cookies left over.

15

Aah, the Boston Indian Wedding. A three-ring circus if I ever saw one. Mind you, the weddings I’ve been to have all been Marathi and most people in the community are upper-middle class-so it may vary by different ethnic group.

It all starts out with the Trousseau Trip to Bombay/Pune. This is when the bride and her mother fly out on British Airways with as many empty gigantic suitcases allowed to bring back her umpteen wedding shaloos, cholis, wedding accessories, jewellry, Indian household goods etc. that cannot be obtained in Boston. They might be obtained through Indian relatives in Chicago but the general notion is that it is more satisfying to haul it back from India (cheaper, more options) and break some poor baggage handler’s back. The bride always comes back with the invitations from there too-ALWAYS featuring a big old Ganesh looking accusingly at you on the envelope and the invitation. And I know this will make steam come out of some people’s ears but it is deemed perfectly acceptable to enclose the registry information inside the invitations. In fact, if it isn’t there it’s a subtle hint that the happy couple won’t be residing in MA-NJ so cash/gift certificates are preferred.

The next step in the process takes place over about 6 months and it involves several parties. First, there is the engagement party which is about the size of a small wedding. It is usually held at a restaurant with a function room and it tends to consist of about 30 to 40 people although I’ve been to one that was about 150. There is some sort of ceremony that goes on there-the groom and bride wear bashings and the groom puts the engagement ring and the armlet on the bride blah blah blah. Then there are all of these ridiculous parties called “kelvan” that are held by the friends of the happy couple’s parents for the parents. The happy couple usually doesn’t show up unless it is a very close friend of the parents in which case it would be a faux pas not to show up at the kelvan. These are usually not catered. The host family gives the happy couple’s parents presents, however. Usually fluffy towels on sale from Macy’s although crystal bowls and candy dishes are also handed out (usually to be recycled by the happy couple’s parents at various housewarmings of non-Marathi people). Towels are preferred.

After that you have the mehndi party for the bride which is a couple days before the real wedding. This usually consists of going to the bride’s house bearing more gifts off of the registry (it seems to function as an Indian bridal shower although I know that the bride’s real life friends will also usually throw her a shower) and you watch the bride get mehndied up. The mehndi artist will usually mehndi you up a bit as well (only women go to this). It tends to be catered but at the bride’s house.

After that you have the haldi which I think may only be for family friends of the groom (probably the bride has something similar). This consists of some religious stuff plus smearing haldi all over the face of the groom and lots of chanting. When the groom washes the haldi off, his face is a charming colour of pee yellow for the day of the wedding (haldi is turmeric).

The wedding day. Finally (this is all about a one year process). Usually they start at about 1:00 p.m. In all of my life, I’ve never been to an Indian wedding actually AT temple (which in MA is in Ashland). Usually they are held in ritzy hotels. The wedding ceremony is in one room. It takes forever. Sometimes there are snacks during the wedding although I’ve noticed more and more people going for an slightly shortened ceremony in English. Usually the guests are rapt if it’s in English (as opposed to Sanskrit) as parents and children alike finally figure out what the hell you sign up for in a Hindu ceremony. The bride and groom get married, walk to the front of the mandap, kiss, yay ceremony over. About an hour.

The reception will be held about two hours afterwards in a ball room in the ritzy hotel. At this point you get hors d’oeuvres and a wine/beer bar. The bride and groom are outside getting photographed with family-and then members of the larger wedding party (which includes close family friends). Finally the ballroom doors open (it’s now about 5:30). At this point you tend to be really hungry. The champagne toast is often sitting right there on the table and it is hard to resist the urge to down it as quickly as possible. Anyway, the bride and groom have to be announced and walk in to techno music (all these weddings are DJed) along with the rest of the wedding party. Once everyone is assembled they have their first dance. THEN they have to sit at the high table and you have to listen to 7-10 (on average) incoherent speeches about them. THEN the bride and groom usually have to make a speech. Then (and this is the part that annoys me MOST) the friends of the bride and groom perform individual dances-like bharat natyam or dances choreographed to especially cheesy hindi music. By this time you are raging drunk from downing the champagne toast, with nothing in your stomach except for greasy pakoras and a couple of glasses of wine from the wine/beer bar. People start mumbling drunkenly in Marathi that this won’t happen at their weddings. Except then they get married and put on their own culture show. Finally, finally thank god you have dinner. I’ve seen it both buffet and served. Sometimes these affairs are so expensive alcohol budget gets cut so it’s only wine and beer bar. Other times people compromise on a hotel in the 'burbs so they have open bar. Usually everyone over the age of 10 gets trashed. After dinner you are slightly less drunk so you dance bhangra, dandya, Hindi and American pop and techno style. Usually badly with the men stepping over all the trailing saris and cholis. Finally, dessert, cake-cutting, final dance. It all ends around midnight/one a.m… The cheapest weddings I’ve seen are about 30K. The most expensive one I’ve been to ran about over 100K.

16

Not around here. I was going to say it’s a Polish or Italian thing, but then realized it has more to do with your socio-economic background than anything else.
It’s usually called an Apron Dance and the Maid of Honor wears a specially embroidered apron into which the guests tuck dollars (or $5s or $10s) for the honor of dancing with the bride for 30 seconds or so. It usually involves the groom, too, so the ladies get to dance, too.
When I got married, I absolutely refused to have one, and my MIL called me a snob. She even threatened to go to the DJ on the sly and “make him” play a song for it and call the guests up and have her daughter wear an apron to collect money. I called the DJ, made sure he knew who was paying him (me!) and told him under no circumstances was he to do an apron dance. Luckily, my husband set her straight - he hated them, too.
No offense to anyone here, but I think they’re horribly tacky in this day and age. Years and years ago when young couples were truly “starting out,” then sure, it was different, but today, when most couples are older, and have good jobs and more than likely already own a home and have registered for Waterford crystal and Lenox china, well, I think paying to dance with the bride and egging them on for more and more money … I just think it’s tacky with a capital “T.” (I’ve been to some where they give the MoH the mike and she announces what people are giving and she asks for more and more - “C’mon, Uncle Mike, only $10? You’ve gotta pay more than that! Dig deeper! Let’s find a $20 in that wallet!” :eek: )

As for wedding traditions around here, most wedding I go to are in churches, with receptions at hotel baquet rooms, either sit-down dinners or buffet. It’s evenly split between live bands and DJs. Some (obviously) have the Apron Dance, some also do the Electric Slide, the Hustle and the Chicken Dance and maybe the Hokey-Pokey. Of course, they’ll do the garter toss and bouquet toss, and as Zebra said, whoever catches the garter puts it on the leg of the woman who caught the bouquet.
They always do the feeding of the cake, but the smashing of the cake is reserved for younger couples.
I’ve been to some that are simple cake & punch or covered dish affairs at the local VFW hall or fire hall and they’re nice, too.
The bride and her father usually dance to “Daddy’s Little Girl” somwhere towards the end of the reception.
The bride and groom usually slip off and change clothes at the end and then come back and dance once more to “their” song and then leave.

I’m sure I’ll think of some more…

17

At home (in Nebraska) there is this tradition that the bride will leave the reception for awhile, as will the groom. They are generally “kidnapped” by the members of of the wedding party (the bridesmaids “kidnap” the groom, the groomsmen “kidnap” the bride) and they’ll go to a few bars or something. These fancy-dressed people kind of pile in to the bar in to buy a shot and have a fuss made, and then haul ass to the next place. Eventually they all come back to the reception.

I don’t know how this arose and it’s pretty dumb, but it’s not uncommon. I’m from a small town, and have seen it done in more than one small town.

18

Donning a fedora, hiking pants up…
[rant]

When did an MC become a reception requirement? It used to be possible to get through a reception without one…and I noticed that nobody above mentioned a reception line. Is that not done anymore?

Two things wrong with weddings: 1. it’s a sanctioned opportunity for bridezilla to go berserk; 2. they’re run and attended by people who don’t know how to behave when they’re dressed up and supposedly acting polite.

…these kids today…

[/rant]

19

Oh, no worries, John. I wasn’t offended. I was just sayin’, ya know? And I agree with you on the larger point; couples (by which I mean brides) can get so caught up in the details and display that they often miss the whole point. I also have to admit that it turns my stomach when I see/hear people urging someone to accept a wedding invitation because “it’s a chance to get dressed up and have a nice meal.” Um, yeah, because clothes and food are exactly the point of the whole production. I also have to admit that I can grouse for hours about such things, so feel free to tell me to shut up at any time.

As for the whole cake/punch/finger foods thing, you also have to keep in mind that a whole lot of Southern weddings and thus Southern receptions are in the early/mid afternoon. It’s not really appropriate to serve a big meal at 3pm, so light snacks/desserts are the most fitting choice for refreshments. Cake, punch, coffee and tea, little sandwiches, fruit, veggie sticks and dip, those nasty little pastel mints you never see anywhere else, and maybe some cookies, and you’re good to go. My understanding is the norm in the Northeast is for weddings to be in the late afternoon/early evening, and the receptions typically fall across the dinner hour, making the light snacks option wholly inappropriate.

That’s part of the reason wedding costs vary so much by area–most of my friends and family had very nice weddings and receptions for under $5,000, as opposed to the $20,000 bridal magazines assure me is average.

The dollar dance is a cultural thing among people of Mediterranean and Slavic descent, although it’s become a cultural norm for people outside these groups in areas with very high Slavic/Mediterranean populations. IMO, it’s no more tacky or a gift/money grab than all the never-ending parties anu-la describes. It’s just the way some cultures do things, is all.

The wedding tradition I’ve always found horrifically crass, though, is the whole garter thing. As I said to a woman who worried that playing “The Stripper” would seem trashy, when your family and all your friends are avidly watching a man put his hand up your dress, pull off part of your underwear, and throw it into a crowd of waiting men the music is the least of your worries, trashy-wise.

20

I know many divorced people (and quite a few married ones) who wish such was the tradition on their wedding day. The only difference being the kidnapping took place at the church before the ceremony and there wasn’t an eventual return.