and now for a quick n easy guide to explain some of the “brain weather patterns” I occassionally map on this blog…
(for those days, when I’m so clogged by writer’s block… I just talk shit about wot’s in me head…)
you may be familiar with these already…
but, for those new to my blog! - “hi, welcome to my blog, yes it DOES really suck! thanks for reading!”
here’s my quick rundown of terminology… so you too can be an instant expert!
BLURRY
state of brain, emulating early morning / pre-caffeination… made more serious if not cured by afternoon / coffee… a general inability to focus on even the most basic of concepts…
HAZY
similar to blurry, but… much funnier… coz you KNOW you’ve caused the resultant brain damage and now have to live with it… usually encountered attempting to blog whilst drunk at 4AM on a Saturday night…
FLUFFY
oddly tingly and otherwise happy for no apparent reason… but, still dumb as a post, and no use to anyone…
FLUFFY and FULL OF ANTS
oddly tingly, cheerful and otherwise stupid, gibbering like an idiot and disconnected, in serious need of de-fragmentation and a decent virus sweep… coz you’ve done some serious damage the night before… and now you’re laughin’ like a fool who’s had half his head removed… (see Ray Liotta in the movie “Hannibal” for a demonstration of this) - this is my usual “morning after” a big weekend night out…
FUZZY
happy, and full of energy… like a spastic contraption made solely out’ve nerf… lookin’ to cause damage… but, since you’re made of nerf… likely you’d just tickle 'em to death…
SHINY
easily distracted by shiny objects… possibly suffering some kinda sugar rush, and bouncin’ off the walls like a demented 4 year old with a gameboy… if used as a “noun” it refers to things most likely to distract you to the point of acting like a 4 year old… “woooo SHINY!”
CRUNCHY
you’re mr burns, rubbing ya hands diabolically… “exceeeellent…” every evil plan of yours is falling into place, the death star is approachin’ completion… your inspiration levels are running on a full tank of gas, and your muse (which I always assume is female) is doing sick n perverted things to the never regions of ya being… you’re baskin’ in your own over-inflated ego… you’re like that crunchy outer coatin’ on KFC hot n spicey… no one can stop you… NO ONE!! BLAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHHA!
CRUSTY
the complete opposite of crunchy…
the morning after a REALLY HEAVY night out…
you’re the IQ level of a goldfish… memory lapsing every 5 seconds… as you gibber “I’m a goldfish!.. I’m a goldfish!” over and over like a mantra… your stomach is feeling seedy, and your head ain’t much better than a can of dog food… we’re talking paramedics and perhaps a exorcism trained priest to dig y’self out’ve this hole…
ER… NUTS
the error message my head blurts out, everytime there’s a dead halt in my thought processes…
for a few years, I actually thought it meant I needed peanuts of some kind… “need salted nuts to live”…
perhaps this is why they stock some bars with them… (mental note: avoid them, tests have shown they’re usually chocka’s full of urine… YAY!)
so… there we have it…
I should stress tho’… that these are abitrary terms I use, and liable to change meaning according to any weird ambiguity I see fit…
so, don’t go correcting ME… if I use the wrong term at the wrong time…
and if you’re gonna steal these terms for y’self… just remember who started it… mmmkay?
(coz I want credit… when I hear this come all the way around the world back at me… to bite me in the arse…)
:: Spoz 6:06 PM [+] ::
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