Golden Raspberry elimination thread.

Cafe Society
1

Inspired by the Osacr thread. This one will do the revers. I will list all of the Golden Rasberry winners for worst movie, and we will pare the list down in similar manner. The criteria this time is to get to the absolute worst movie. I ask that when you remove a movie from the list, you have to articulate some kind of artistic merit or saving grace. It doesn’t have to be much. “it has boobs,” or “It’s funny if you’re high” would be acceptable justifications for removal. We are working to find the purest turd.

Here is the list:

Can’t Stop the Music
Mommy Dearest
Inchon
The Lonely Lady
Bolero
Rambo: First Blood Part II
Howard the Duck
Under the Cherry Moon
Leonard: Part 6
Cocktail
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane
Ghosts Can’t Do It
Hudson Hawk
Shining Through
Indecent Proposal
Color of Night
Showgirls
Striptease
The Postman
An Alan Smithee Film: Burn, Hollywood, Burn
Wild Wild West
Battlefield Earth
Freddy Got Fingered
Swept Away
Gigli
Catwoman
Dirty Love
Basic Instinct 2
I Know Who Killed Me
The Love Guru
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
I’ll start the proceedings by removing Bolero because Bo Derek was naked in it.

2

Rambo: First Blood Part II has a lot of flaws and terrible dialogue. But as commando movies go, it’s hardly the worst. The plot is sound, Richard Crenna does his best, and the explosions were impressive for 1985.

I recommend removing Rambo: First Blood Part II from your list.

3

Howard the Duck-Jeffrey Jones’ mad scientist act is over-the-top great, Tim Robbins is perfect as the young and geeky scientist, and Lea Thompson’s girl band looks damn authentic for that time.

4

Indecent Proposal has Bob Redford, who elevates anything he’s in. A true stinker just simply wouldn’t have an actor of his caliber in it. Though bad, it’s certainly not the worst.

5

Star Trek V – certainly not the best Star Trek film, but not even the worst. It’s actually good up until the line "Excuse me. . . . "

6

I’ll spend all day defending Gigli as “not that bad”. It’s panning was a result of it being a trendy movie to pan. Well, that, and the fact that it had a couple of the most god-awful scenes in movie history. But it had some very good scenes, some clever writing at times, and a lot of quality acting.

If you need a single reason to remove it from the list, then I’ll cite the Christopher Walken scene.

7

Striptease.

It’s turned into a bit of a cult-classic w/ showings that include audience participation. Plus, boobies.

8

Updated list:

Can’t Stop the Music
Mommy Dearest
Inchon
The Lonely Lady
Under the Cherry Moon
Leonard: Part 6
Cocktail
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane
Ghosts Can’t Do It
Hudson Hawk
Shining Through
Indecent Proposal
Color of Night
Showgirls
The Postman
An Alan Smithee Film: Burn, Hollywood, Burn
Wild Wild West
Battlefield Earth
Freddy Got Fingered
Swept Away
Catwoman
Dirty Love
Basic Instinct 2
I Know Who Killed Me
The Love Guru
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

9

I think I’ll remove Mommy Dearest. I don’t think anyone can say it’s not entertaining (for the wrong reasons, but entertaining). Maybe the definitive “so bad it’s good” movie.

10

As much as I hate to do it, I’d get rid of Cocktail. It’s not wretchedly bad, just boring. Also, it falls under the “Bo Derek exemption” for the scenes with Kelly Lynch.

11

Showgirls isn’t so bad if you turn the sound off. That’s the most enthusiasm I can muster for it though.

12

Color of Night has lots of naked Jane March.

13

Come on, that was a great line. “What does God need with a spaceship?”

And I’ll argue that Hudson Hawk was kind of amusing in a way.

14

Update:
Can’t Stop the Music
Inchon
The Lonely Lady
Under the Cherry Moon
Leonard: Part 6
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane
Ghosts Can’t Do It
Shining Through
The Postman
An Alan Smithee Film: Burn, Hollywood, Burn
Wild Wild West
Battlefield Earth
Freddy Got Fingered
Swept Away
Catwoman
Dirty Love
Basic Instinct 2
I Know Who Killed Me
The Love Guru
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

15

The Postman isn’t all THAT bad, and I think the Will Patton character is somewhat interesting. I’m pulling it.

16

Ford Fairlane was funny – and I’ll fuck anyone who disagrees.

17

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen had amazing visuals, plus some good voice acting for the Autobots and Decepticons. I emphasize some, because no one will ever be able to convince that the faux-ghetto-SpongeBob 'bot was a good idea.

18

This is getting tough. The remaining films are pretty solid suckitude.

Much as it pains me to say it, Freddy Got Fingered got one genuine laugh from me, when, near the end of the movie, a guy appears in a crowd scene holding a “WHEN IS THIS MOVIE GOING TO END?!” sign. It doesn’t really make up for the preceding 90 minutes, but it is one lone moment of actual comedic competence.

19

Catwoman(would have pulled The Postman had it still been on)

20

The “God needs a spaceship” line is certainly a good one. It’s the “Excuse me” like Kirk is a little boy in kindergarten that makes it all so ridiculous.

The director should have told Shatner not to say the line that way. Oh, wait . . .