Gollum = science fiction nerds?

Y’know, I was watching The Two Towers for, oh, I dunno, about the fourteenth time today… and watching Gollum for some of those telltale signs of CGI animation… when an unusual thought occurred to me.

The idea bothered me throughout the remainder of the movie, as scene by scene, I found more and more evidence to support the hypothesis.

I mean, think about it: Gollum had his Precious, right? He literally hung out under the Misty Mountains for 500 years, eating raw fish, never going outdoors, and laying there and stroking his Preciuossss, right? This was his idea of a GOOD TIME!

Now think about it: who do you know who never goes out, who stays home on Saturday nights and always has, hanging around his home eating cold pizza and playing with his Precious?

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Tolkien was trying to say something here.

Tolkien was, by all accounts, a nice enough guy… but he didn’t suffer fools gladly. He could be quite gruff with those dippy Middle Earth freaks who came to hang around his house and take Polaroids through his bay window of the Great Man having his breakfast. He didn’t much care for them. They lacked dignity. They lacked class.

…and that’s when I realized that Gollum was, in fact, more than just some weird little goblin monster. Gollum was, in fact, Tolkien’s way of expressing how he felt about Star Trek nerds.

No, really! And I don’t just mean nerds with a Star Trek fixation, either. The allegory holds up, even when applied to Star Wars nerds, Dungeons and Dragons geeks, Anime freaks, and even all night cyberchat goons. It’s a universal kind of thing.

Gollum represents the Science Fiction Fantasy Geek. This was Tolkien’s way of slapping us all upside the face.

I think I’m insulted.


I think I may sue.

Can you impeach authors?


Um, the books were published in the 50’s, a full decade before Star Trek.

Gollum, if he represents anything at all beyond a character in a fantasy story, represents the ultimate in obsessive personalities – his life has dwindled to the point where the Precious and the desire to recover it is the sole focus of his ongoing existence.

And The Hobbit, where Gollum was a character, was published in 1937. Tom Shippey, in his book J. R. R. Tolkien, considers that the lure of the ring is analogous to addiction. Addiction, although it might describe Star Trek nerds, applies to many other sorts of things.

::BB looks around, decide’s that noone else understand’s Wang-Ka’s sense of humour::

…very funny WK!!! I think you should sue as well!

Yeah, and that Aragorn guy, know how he’s all noble and handsome and brave and skilled and wise and clever and strong and stuff? Who else do we know who has all of those qualities? That’s right! Aragorn is nothing more than a not-so-subtle representation of me! :smiley:

Um … but I thought the “dippy Middle Earth freaks” didn’t start popping up until after the publication of Lord of the Rings, by which point Gollum’s character traits were already well established.

Great green horny-toads, it’s like a wind tunnel in here…

Wang-Ka, you are a welcome addition to the boards (IMcompletelyHO). Well, you made me chuckle, anyway.

Oh, and you can’t impeach an author until you’ve blue-pencilled him into submission, first.

[sub]We have met the Smeagol, and he is us![/sub]

You… you… mean… you mean Star Trek came AFTER LOTR?

Yeah, right.

Next, you’re gonna be telling me that Tolkien’s books aren’t just novelizations of the movies.


Pull the other one…

Are you trying to say there’s an Evil Force somewhere in the world that wants to gather together all of the Trekkies’ penises?

Um… no.

First of all, one’s “Precious” is a highly personal thing. It may be your home computer.

It could be your Everquest game.

Or your complete Next Generation DVD set. Or even the reruns.

Perhaps it’s your PSII, with “Resident Evil” playing.

Or your favorite chat room, in which one pretends to be a 39-year-old divorced weightlifter.

Or a set of polyhedral dice.

Basically, I was using “precious” to mean “any reason you’re at home on Saturday night, instead of out indulging in a life.”

Besides, if anyone wanted Trekkie penises, their owners wouldn’t be staying home weekend nights, now, would they?

Oh? And who says that your so called life isn’t a Precious?

I’ve never seen posters so badly whooshed by an OP before.

…“so-called” life…?

I take issue with the idea that staying at home on a Saturday night is NOT “indulging in a life”, but I won’t hijack this thread any further.

Next thing you’ll tell us is that the whole thing is nothing more than a rant against the Industrial Revolution…

Um… Smeghead… consider the date and time I posted this thread.

Of course, I’M posting from a fabulous cocktail party over at my supermodel girlfriend’s fantastic penthouse apartment. I just got knocked out of the game of naked Twister going on in the living room, and thought I’d do a little slumming HERE, right?

struggles to stay in the thread as the wind lashes about

Very funny Wang-Ka, at least I thought it was :slight_smile:

the wind picks up and blows Qixotica right back out of the thread, straight over the heads of a few other posters



lol, wang-ka, the OP was funny and the responses were funnier. Personally I consider myself as Gollum but with better hair.

D’OH! I JUST got the parallel. The OP is accusing Lord of the Rings of ragging on its fanboys, even though it must have been written before said fanboys existed by definition. This is the OP’s way of poking fun at/making an analogy with recent accusations that Lord of the Rings was a rip-off of Harry Potter, even though LotR was written decades before HP was.

I’m awake, honest!