Good grief, somebody give that man some air!

A funny thing happened to me on my way to the forum… :rolleyes:

In actuality, this is my first visit to this forum, and my first post on any Straight Dope boards. This would make me a newbie, I suppose (as befitting the lingo of common AOL boards). :dubious: My dear friend Justin (whom I have not spoken with in quite some timem regrettably) hath invited me, and it only took two months to get here! So if I may introduce myself, or whatever you silly people do… I suppose I’ll just scout the board and it’s customs for a bit of time. Here is to fresh starts and new horizons. :cool:

Welcome to the Board! I hope you have many happy days of posting ahead of you :slight_smile:

As a semi-newbie, I caution you to beware of the Giant Rat, the persistent flocks of sheep, and the outboard motor. Also, some of the more irresponsible roaring can leave one carnally unenthusiastic, so I’d avoid that, and also steer clear of the insects – some of them are lethal. Stay aware that infrasound waves below twenty hertz have strange effects on the temporal lobes, so beware of the Gregorian chants, and if you start feeling baseless awe and feelings of unexplainable ecstasy I’d strongly advise that you run, do not walk, to the nearest aid station which is easily identified by the large friendly emoticon. Don’t worry, most of the emoticons, though animated, won’t actually eat a whole person.

Gairloch

Gairloch, if only you’d been here when I started, you would have saved me a lot of tears.

SpudShark, Aloha from the Lone Star State. Welcome to the SDMB. I think you’ll find it a very interesting place.

However, some of the emoticons will eat a whole person. I post to inform you that I have eaten lel.

Sincerely,

:smiley:

PS: Hi, Spudshark! :smiley:

(Note: I am just fine, have not been eaten, and have not had my account taken over by an emoticon.)

Warm greetings (even tho’ we’re sliding towards winter here) from New Zealand, Spudshark, and welcome to the SDMB! :slight_smile:

Where’s the air? We were promised air!
[sub]Welcome.[/sub]

Heh. I can certainly see myself liking it here. It’s nuttier than a Billy Bob family reunion. Let’s see… it’s just about time for me to make an utter fool of myself (in contingence with past board introductions), so keep an eye out for that if you’re looking for some cheap entertainment.

You gonna eat that?

All this and a bag of chips.

It doesn’t get much better.

Saaaaay … you aren’t related to Zappa’s legendary Mudshark, are you?

Welcome aboard(s).

::blinks:: You wouldn’t be the same Sam/Spudshark who’s on some of AOL’s more coherent teen boards, would you?

But hi, welcome aboard, greetings, and so on. :slight_smile:

Spudshark, welcome aboard! Enjoy your stay.

Could you do me a favour though, and trim down your sig to a maximum of 4 lines? It’s one of our highly arbitrary, brutally enforced rules. :slight_smile:

Zenster: I’m not related, insofar as I’m aware.
JessEnigma: I am indeed the same. It’s good to see you again! Had I known you hung around here, I would’ve said something.
Coldfire: But of course. I am all to happy to comply.

I apologize for the “creative” format… I didn’t want to clog up the board.

I simply wouldn’t be a very good stalker if I let everyone know who I was and where I hang out, now would I? Stealth is my middle name. Or it would be, if my parents had more originality.
But a few other people from the AOL boards do lurk around here, even if they don’t post. Perhaps they’ll emerge from the woodwork someday.

I don’t know if people from Texas are allowed to use “hath” unless they’re lisping. I’d check on that, just to make sure. Otherwise, howdy!