I am going on a first date tonight. I will have to work this thread into the conversation if a dead spot does pop up. My problem is that I can talk to anyone about anything. My ex-wife said I would start a cpnversation with a coprse if someone sat it next to me.
I do have a slight advantage on this date. She is a speech pathologist and my son is speech delayed. Yes I’m only interested in her mind. She is also an Irish Protestant and I’m a Roman Catholic. The religion discussion will be fun. Luckily we are both conservative in potical views.
Has anyone else read Chuck Palahniuk’s Diary? There was a part in that book (and I’ll need help with this) where Peter (or Angel?) asked Misty to use 3 words that came to mind to describe 4 things. I can only remember that the words she used to describe water were supposed to represent how she felt about sex.
I’m sorry I’m not more forthcoming with details, but maybe someone can help out? I’m sure that this is not something Chuck came up with because it sounded very familiar.
Ask her to recommend an interesting website or two. And don’t shy away from sports… many girls love (at least some) sports, and many guys want to date the kind of girl who watches “ESPN’s Sportscenter”.
IME, coming prepared with pre-canned conversation starters on a first date is a waste of time. Looking back on my dates over the years, I had no trouble conversing with the ones who ended up becoming girlfriends. The ones where I had to resort to pre-canned conversation starters turned out to not be good matches anyways. Mention a few of your interests and maybe share a story about one of them. Ask her about her interests and encourage her to tell you all about them. If you don’t find a common thread to hang a conversation on, you’re not going to match up well with this person anyway.
This is coming from a cripplingly shy person who has trouble maintaining casual conversation with your average human being, let alone on a first date. Even so, I always found early conversations to flow very naturally with anyone who would later turn out to be a girlfriend.
Yeah, you really can’t have one-size-fits-all conversation starters or it’ll come across as pretty lame. However, you can have standard lines of inquiry which may or may not go anywhere. For example, if you have siblings, ask if they have any, followed by how many older vs. younger. This may lead to sharing of funny stories about teasing your sisters or scaring your brother or whatever, or it may go nowhere. Move on to pets or books or whatever. The trick is not to have scripted conversation ready to go, but rather a range of topics in mind which you can say interesting or funny things about if they seem interested.
If all else fails, ask them what they’d do if they won the lottery. Everyone likes talking about what they’d do with millions of dollars.
Call me crazy, but I think your op would be a great conversation starter. I’m sure she’s proly thinking the same thing you are durring those awkward silences. It might even go so far as to help you both relax a little, which inturn might help you both to come up with MORE conversation.
Hate to generalize here, but believe it or not women REALLY DO want to know whats on your mind. (minus the constant pornographic thoughts of course. )
So just go with that and don’t worry about trying to be clever all the time. Thats too much damn work bro…
At least this is the experiece I’VE had with women.
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