Too often on a first date (hell, any date) people will quickly run out of things to say, especially when the two folks still don’t know each other that well and are not that comfortable with each other.
Tomorrow I will be going out with this girl that I have been looking forward to seeing for a while now and I would very much not like such a “dead air” moment to occur. So, I thought why not take advantage of the hive mind that is the SDMB and ask if y’all had any witty/insightful/fun conversation starters to liven up a dull moment.
- Religion
- Politics
- Past relationships
Actually, don’t go there. Just kidding.
Films and books are always safe topics. What people do for a living can usually fill in a gap.
Does she have any brothers or sisters? What do they do for a living? What about her parents - what do they do?
Hooray for men who ask questions on dates! I love 'em. But don’t be so afraid of dead air that the girl feels bombarded or overwhelmed.
Politics and religion I can handle, but there’s nothing worse than someone who wants to tell stories about their exes on a first date. Definitely don’t go there.
Others: music, travel, family members, hobbies, favorite sexual positions… 
No no no.
You guys misunderstand. I am not talking about basic conversation. I mean do you know of any clever, off-the-wall type starters? Kind of like in those “big book of questions” that ask things like “If you were stuck on a deserted island which would you take with you, chunky or creamy peanut butter?”.
Start all stories with “So I was over at the Wound Care Center and…”
Or, “So, the police dragged me outta the funeral parlour in handcuffs. Man, they coulda let me put my pants back on first.”
Mother says girls who wear make up are DIRTY LITTLE SLUTS, but I think you’re quite nice.
“If you could have lunch with any 3 people, living or dead, real or fictional, who and why?”
Side note: avoid yes or no questions, try to ask open-ended ones.
There was an episode of This American Life that asked people the question of what superpower they would rather have: flight or invisibility. It’s been a while since I heard the show, but if I remember correctly, women preferred invisibility while men preferred flight. One of the funny things was that most people weren’t even planning to use their superpower to fight crime or anything noble. I always thought that this would be a fun subject to talk about. I don’t have much (any) experience though, so what do I know?
If you’re interested in listening to the show online follow the link and run a search for “Superpowers”.
If Jesus was a [party x] president, do you think he’d be in favor of inheritence tax between a homosexual couple?
This hits religion, politics, taxes, sex, and is boring to boot! (<-in case it’s not clear, so don’t say this really. Well, it’s ok as a joke perhaps…)
OK, seriously; I’d say don’t be scared to be a bit controversial, but that’s just because I couldn’t like someone who doesn’t like a bit of arguing, you may be different.
My best suggestion for a first date is go to a comedy club. It takes the heat off you for conversation for a while and you get to learn a lot about someone by what they find funny.
My pervert side would chose Invisibility... my kid/fun side would chose Flight. (well at night flying you can do some super peeking !)I was always made to understand that you should make the girl talk about herself… which on a first date can be hard if she is even mildly shy.
For one line sentences … I don’t know any.
“If you became Evil Overlord of the Universe, what would your first decree be?” Seriously. You can learn a lot about someone by their answer.
Some people will act shocked and horrified at the very thought. These people immediately go in the “no way, Jose” category for me.
Other people have obviously thought about the question before and can give you a very quick answer.
The best answer I’ve ever heard: “I’d demand a square foot of flesh of off everyone’s back as tribute to my greatness.” That’s a good evil answer.
Ha! We are going to “Laughs Unlimited” in Old Sac.
I remember that episode, that is a good one. Just what I am loking for.
Don’t take a first date to any place named “Old Sac.”
Once there was this guy who had a date for the first time, and he didn’t know what he could talk to a girl about. So he asked his friends. And they told him there were three general areas for discussion. 1) Her family and friends. 2) Her likes, dislikes, & interests. 3) Theoretical “philosophical” discussion. And armed with this, he goes out and puts it into action.
- “Do you have a brother?” “No.”
- “Do you like noodles?” “No.”
- “If you had a brother, would he like noodles?”
Try:
"What do you get passionate about? For example, at a cocktail party, if you got so into a topic that you forgot to check if the other person was listening, what would you be talking about?
a) Great icebreaker
b) could go anywhere - sports, family, hobbies, politics (but at least it is their choice, right?)
c) leads to obvious follow ups, such as “wow - why that?” or “what specific aspect of that topic do you get passionate about?” let alone topic-specific questions.
Has worked for me in personal and professional settings…yeah, yeah, yeah - there is a chance that they could go off on a topic and totally forget to check if YOU are listening, but that is a risk regardless…