Because I just have to…
<snerk> IN BED!<snerk>
I’ve always said one of the most evil things I could think of to do would be to get a dozen big, burly men together and go to an all you can eat buffet. The chaos! The carnage! Oh the humanity! 
Move those people outta the way, we don’t want anyone to get hurt. There were children missing the last time and that’s just a damn shame.
(more John Pinette humor)
Are we all actually doing work or somethin’? The MMP keeps falling nearly to the bottom of page 1. C’mon people! The only way to show how important we are is to keep the MMP at the top of MPSIMS. Oh, wait… we’re supposed to be important for stuff other than MMP?? IRL-type stuff… hmm… better go do something important.
I’ll agree with everyone who’s said that it’s been a long week. There haven’t been many people in the office so not that much stuff to do. Why is it that short weeks with less to do seem so much longer?
It’s going to get longer. The Girl has a tournament with two games this weekend. One each day, at 8 am each day. In Bradenton, which is about an hour’s drive from our house. It’s gonna suck.
The good news is I’m festing with Dopers this evening in Gulfport. NinetyWt, Aurora, Bambi Hassenpfeffer, Ravenous Lady and BrainGlutton will hopefully all make it. Hooray!
Since none of them is a regular MMPer, we’ll see who does vanity searches.
Twickster
I haven’t been that busy at work today. And it hasn’t been a short week for me either. I’ve just been unravelling the latest drama over in ATMB.
We are gettin’ a little snow over here. It’s that really small stuff that sometimes blows up and sideways in the gentlest of breezes (only it’s a bit windy today, and really friggin’ cold) but never amounts to anything except little dots of wate on the windshield when it finally comes to rest. I’m sure the Eskimos have a name for it, but I don’t know any Eskimo words (except kayak and umiac, and I’m sure neither of them apply to snow).
Gah! It’s another bleepin’ Monday here! I’m trying to HELP someone here, but she’s too busy to answer some questions. Short fused suspense to a much higher HQ and I’m trying ensure we are sending accurate, reliable, and useful data. Do you think that the other child MTFs could have sent the their data in the same format we used? Nooooooo! So, now I’m trying to figure out what the blankety-blank they’re trying to convey. This isn’t even my part of the tasker to do. I’ve done my portion of this tasker, but she needs some help (which I’m happy to provide), but now it’s at my expense. I even stayed an hour late last night, but she couldn’t spend the 15 minutes I need with her to get these questions answered. I have some other things that I’ve back-burnered and now I’m down to the wire and I need to take care of those too!
My weekend is shaping up to very busy too. When I returned home last night (after 8:00 p.m) my husband informed me that we’re going to a friend’s son’s twae kon do (or some sort of martial arts thing) competition on Saturday morning. I told him he could go, I needed some time to decompress. Guess what? That didn’t work, so now I’m roped into doing something I don’t want to do again. It’s not that I don’t want to watch the kid, it’s just that I didn’t want to do it tomorrow.
Ah! I’m WHINING. Sorry about that. I’m just incredibly crabby, and I don’t know why.
Shibb, I recognize Bambi’s name from the “I Got a Dyson” thread. So there!
I’ve been following that thread because I’m drooling for one of those Dyson animal vaccuums.
Well, I better get back to racking my brain to complete this tasker.
I met scout! I met scout! Try to curb your jealousy. She is a very lovely & intelligent woman - but as she said, she and I look nothing alike - so much for the separated at birth thing!
My weekend is half busy, half slow. My brother & sis-in-law show up tonight, and are here until Sunday morning - so I get to play with them for a day, and then have a day to myself. The perfect weekend!
Susan
With a little luck, I’ll get to meet scout tonight. Plan B is being formulated. If we can make it work, I’ll meet her and dantheman for dinner. Yay!
And it most definitely has been a long week, for all that it was just 4 days long and I got off early 2 of those days. I’m home now - I took off early today, just because. We didn’t get a lot of snow - maybe 2-3", and the roads around here are just wet. They’re threatening us with more snow on Monday. A pox upon frozen precip! I’m ready for spring, dagnabbit!
There - I’ve done my part to keep the MMP afloat. Carry on.
Saaaaaaaaaaaaaay, does that make you a soccer mom?
And, just for swampy:
A man walked up to the car and asked the blonde driver,“Are you going to San Diego?”
Sure," answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?”
“Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck.
My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be delivered to the San Diego Zoo…they’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day,” he explained.
He asked the blonde, “Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me…I’ll give you fifty dollars for your trouble?”
I’d be happy to," said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts…and off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!!
There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of the crowds on the street.
With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde, and yelled, “What the heck are you doing here?” he demanded, “I gave you fifty dollars to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!!!”
" Yes, I know you did," said the blonde, "but we had money left over…so we went to the movies too!!!
I got one too. But it’s not blonde joke.
Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, “I was cleaning the Father’s room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines!”
“What did you do?” the other nuns asked.
“Well, of course I threw them all in the trash.”
The second nun said, “Well, I can top that. I was in the Father’s room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms.”
“Oh my,” gasped the other nuns. “What did you do?” they asked.
“I poked holes in all of them,” she replied.
The third nun said, “Oh shit.”
Puggy and Sean:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
ACBG will be so thrilled I have more jokes for him. I wish I could get him to join but he won’t. I mean, the man has a puter in his house and he rarely even turns the thing on. :eek:
I’m sleepy.
I have a story:
There’s a boy who lives on a farm. One day his father tells him the cow is in heat and needs servicing, so he should take Bessy up the road to the neighbors farm so their bull can take care of her. Well, he leads her up the way and the other farmer’s daughter answers the door. “Brutus is out in the far pasture, but he’s a might touchy. I’d better go out there with you.”
They get out to the far pasture, get Bessy inside, and nature takes it’s course. Well, the farmer’s daughter is a pretty young lady, and after watching the bull at work for a while the farmboy blushes and says, “Shucks, I’d sure like to be doin’ what ol’ Brutus is doin’ out yonder.”
Without hesitation the farmgirl replies, “Well, she’s your cow. I reckon you can do whatever you like with her!”
Sorry to hear about your BIL Winny, diabetes can seriously screww up a person’s life. The good news is that they know a lot better how to control it these days. The bad news is that the way things are going, in a few years commoners like us won’t be able to afford medical attention.
Cheerful ain’t I?
Wanna hear something funny?
Too bad.
I’ve told this joke before, but it springs to mind, so you’re gettin it again.
(abridged version)
Four sisters go to confession. As the first sister goes into the confessional the other three schoonch up real close on the bench so they can hear, and they hear her say:
“Forgive me father for I have sinned, I touched a man’s private parts with my finger.”
“That is a serious sin my child, I want you to say 3 hail Mary’s and go soak your finger in the holy water before you leave.”
With that siste #1 comes out and goes to wherever Catholics keep their holy water. (I keep mine in the cupboard next to the Holy Whiskey), and sister #2 goes in.
“Forgive me father for I have sinned, I touched a man’s private parts with my hand.”
“That is a serious sin my child, I want you to say 5 hail Mary’s and go soak your entire hand in the holy water before you leave.”
Hearing this, sister #4 taps sister #3 on the shoulder and asks: “Would you mind if I go next?”
“Sure, go ahead, but why?”
“Cause I just know he’s gonna make me drink a bunch of holy water, and I want to drink it before he makes you sit in it.”
Just two more hours to go and it’s the weekend for me, baby! How do I make an all-day headache go away? Anybody want one? I’ll pay shipping and handling. As a bonus, **FCM ** has a lovely chandelier to go with.
These jokes are awful! Tell me more.
Also, no fair that everybody’s meeting scout. She was my special secret. Don’t get her wrinkled. Feed her healthy food like pizza and ice cream, have her lounge about and generally coddle her. Do not pull her finger (it’s a trick). White chocolate for her pillow.
Not me. I’m reading this, just having gotten up from an after-work nap…
Two and one half hours to go to for me. I must admit that I am chuckling at the jokes as well. I already have a headache, so, sorry I can’t relieve yours. Finally, I get to meet scout next month. I’m looking forward to it and some good mexican food (hint, hint, scout .
Twenty minutes for me. C’mon clock! I can’t wait to get out of here and go home and look forward to the lovely weather we’re expecting.
I went grocery shopping. Very large roasts were on sale for not very much, so I bought a bunch and they’re sitting in my freezer waiting to turn into chili, pot roast, and curry. Yum. My Mum took me shopping, and we went out to an Armenian restaurant for lunch. Shawarma is one of the best foods ever.
We also have eighteen billion granola bars and things. Neither of us are going to starve. I think I’ll go on a weight loss all-croissant diet for the weekend.
I’m jealous of everyone who gets to meet scout. scout is wonderful (I’m not just saying that because she bought me gingersnaps.)
Awww! Y’all are so sweet, you’re going to make me cry! Of course, I’m a little PMS-ey, so I may just cry anyway, for no reason at all. That may be TMI, but Ex and Swampy have set the bar pretty high on that, so I think it’s ok.
BIL is much better, thank you all very much. Behold the power of the MMPers! Anyway, he’s home now. They still haven’t decided if it’s Type I or Type II, but they ran a bunch of tests, so we’ll get a definitive answer next week.
I’m so jealous! I want to meet Scout and FCM and Susan_Foster, too! And I don’t even live all that far away, but I didn’t say anything earlier because there was just no way I could break away to do it. Oh, well, someday!
It’s Friday night around 5:30pm EST, it’s been a really long short week, and I just got handed a biggish project that needs to be done by C.O.B. Mon. Mondays are always bad, so I can’t put it off until then. Which means I am sitting here at work feeling sorry for myself and posting here instead of doing the work and going home. I’m such a masochist! Anyway, if anyone’s around, I’ll be monitoring this space for the next hour or so while I knock this spreadsheet out.