Early this morning, on my baby girl’s second birthday, my father-in-law died of a massive heart attack, ten days before his 65th birthday.
He’d been sick for several months–he had chronic myeloid leukemia. But just a couple days ago, his bloodwork showed that it was going into remission. He was being treated for pneumonia, and was responding well. Everything was really looking up. Then, this morning, at a little after two o’clock am, we got a call saying he’d collapsed. My husband and his siblings rushed to the hospital, but it was over within the hour. I am glad that his wife and all his children were able to be there together at the end.
He is survived by his wife of 42 years, two sons and two daughters, and ten grandchildren.
The loss of a loved one is a very deep sadness. Nothing that I can say will lessen the pain, but know that you are in my thoughts.
I lost my father in December. The dopers here helped me through it by sharing their wonderful memories of their fathers with me. If you are interested, you can read them in this thread
I lost my dad many years ago and I still miss him. But after a while, the feeling of missing him becomes bittersweet. It almost feels good to remember him and cry over him, because that means his memory still lives.
My prayers and good thoughts go out to your family. This will be a tough year in some ways, but you’ll get through it. Take your time to recover from the sadness and take it easy on yourself. Be sure to pamper your husband a little, and dote over the mother-in-law. We all need that when we are grieving. And we need permission to grieve. Some are so eager to push past the feelings and I don’t think that’s good.
Sorry to ramble. My heart goes out to you and I shed a tear for you. Bless you all.
My mother died on my birthday, and it was awful for the first couple years. But we’re coming up on the 6th anniversary in June, and I’ve noticed that it’s not quite as dark as it was a few years ago. Time tends to take the sting out of it.
Thanks for all the good thoughts and wishes. It’s a difficult time, certainly, but it always helps to have people who care!
My husband is sure having tough time. Guess this is really the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. He’s holding up well though–I think he’s really feeling a responsibility to, as the oldest child. Mom is, of course, under a tremendous strain. We’re all doing what we can to help her, but nothing can take away the pain she’s suffering. They were together for over 42 years and now they aren’t–what can one say to ease that, you know?
I know in time we’ll all get through this, and the warm thoughts from everyone will go a long way to helping. Thanks again!
Losing a father has to be about the toughest thing for a son.
When my dad died after a long illness, while expected, it was crushing.
Rasie a glass, recall the good times, hold him close in your heart.
Well, we’re two days post-funeral. I think now the hardest part begins. My husband is used to stopping by to see his dad every day after work, to update him their company’s business and such. This will be the first day back to work, and I worry now that it will truly hit home for him that his Dad is gone. Also, most of the visitors have headed home (and there were so many–Dad was a well-loved and respected man) and soon my MIL will have to face her home alone (we are all going to try and be with her as much as possible though).
Turns out that it wasn’t his heart after all. He died from a pulmonary embolism–a blood clot that most likely originated in his legs and travelled to his lungs, blocking the flow of blood returning from the heart. My MIL had the courage to allow the autopsy, and we found out the day before the funeral.
It was so wonderful to see how packed the funeral home was. Family and friends came from Texas, West Virginia, Ohio, Mississippi (where he was born and raised), Georgia, and from all over here in Alabama, not to mention the large number of people who came just from this town alone–business contacts, friends, employees (former and present), and of course, family…he was loved by so many people. Even the minister who performed the service came all the way from Texas to do so–they had been close friends for many years.
Thanks again for your compassion and sympathy! Khadaji, it was very moving to read the tributes to fathers in your earlier thread. We will indeed cherish the memories of this man, who never regarded me as simply a daughter-in-law, but as his true daughter.