I don’t know where to put this—it isn’t mundane and it isn’t pointless.
I just received word that my father died about an hour ago. He was 93 years old, lived in a nursing home, confined to bed, and suffering from congestive heart failure, although that isn’t what killed him. I think he just had enough, finally, and decided to stop fighting.
I saw him yesterday—he was comatose and was being given morphine every four hours due to pain from several compression fractures of the spine. The last time he was alert was a week or so ago, and he said then that he wanted it to be over.
All the arrangements were made months ago, and I thought I was ready for this. I’m not, though. He was an important part of my life for 64 years, and his passing leaves a hole that will take a while to fill. I hope he has found peace.
Oh LouisB…I am so sorry and sad for your loss. I, too, know how it feels to lose a parent, albeit mine was at a much younger age.
My deepest, most heartfelt sympathies to you and your family tonight. Consider yourself hugged, and my shoulder available for tears. I cannot express my condolences enough.
I’m very sorry Louis. I lost my dad two years ago, and I still think of him every day. Even when you know they are going, it doesn’t make it any easier. I will keep you in my thoughts.
I am so sorry. I hope that he has found peace and is away from all the pain he must have endured. Good luck with the coping and my deepest condolences.
I had similar thoughts about my last (and favorite) grandparent passing. She was unable to speak, was in pain, but was unaware of her surroundings. Last time I saw her, she was a shrivled up little Commanche corpse.
Yet, she was still alive.
Even though it was a mercy for her to finally pass, what it meant for all of us was that she was dead. No more Mimi. My Mother had no more mother.
Sure, it’s all for the best. The suffering is over. But, like you said, there is now a hole.
I feel for you, LouisB. But, in time, the stark stabs of pain go away. Leaving in their stead a sad nostalgia. Which in turn, one day transforms into wistful memories.
Yeah, sometimes I still cry when I think about her. I am now. But, and please believe me, you will treasure the happy memories. And they will, I repeat WILL outweigh the pain of loss.
The loss of a loved one is a very deep sadness. I lost my father in December and the dopers here helped me through it by sharing memories of their fathers. If you are interested, you can read them here
93 years is a hell of a lot of living. How lucky he was to have you along for the last 64 years, and you to have had him for your first 64. My best wishes to you this next week (the first week after the loss of a loved one are often the hardest, what with funeral arrangements and such) and those thereafter.
