Gormless Twit

Or as they used to say on Car Talk, “Unencumbered by the thought process.”

Not really insults, but disparaging comments, nonetheless. The last three are from the UK, whose inhabitants seem to excel at this kind of humor.

A perfectly “unique” young woman. (Big Bang Theory)

Wait a minute! Y’know I’m temperamental.
Ya, 95 percent temper, 5 percent mental. (The Three Stooges)

Wrapped tighter than an airport sandwich. (Two and a Half Men)

Organ recital. (Describes the undesired experience of listening to someone complain about their aches and pains.)

Blows hot and cold. (Describes unpredictable displays of affection and contempt.)

This last one’s not even a disparaging comment. Some bus drivers in the UK refer to some of their retiree passengers as “twirlies,” the reason being that the passengers are given a discount for the elderly after nine o’clock in the morning on weekdays, and it often happens that they’re waiting to catch the first bus at the reduced fare. Apparently, the repeated scenario is: bus stops, doors open and passenger asks, “Am I too early?”

For a really good insult I always go with good old Billy Wigglestick.

My favorite is “I had rather be set quick i’th’earth,/And bowled to death with turnips.”

[Graham Chapman]
Don’t give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
[/Graham Chapman]

Probably from a dead parrot! :eek:

I remember someone using “Kanucklehead” in reference to basically any Canadian that wasn’t perfect.

My MIL once called the preachers wife a ‘dildo’! Neither knew what it meant, so all was well. We still laugh about at family reunions and holidays!

My dad used to call my fat, evil Aunt Judy, “Aunt Jukebox”. My grade school principal, whose name was Miss McNaughton, he dubbed “Miss McNothing”.

We had a Mr. McCrutchin. We called him ’ the creature’.

I was sitting with some friends and sang a few bars of some ditty or other. The bitchiest in the crew looked at me, smiled so sweetly, and said, “snoe – I didn’t know you couldn’t sing!” Took me a few seconds to get the joke. Still cracks me up thinking about it.

I’ve started picking up colloquial Mexican Spanish expressions/slang at work. One that sounds innocent but can be insulting is comadre. It’s the feminine equivalent of compadre, literally “godfather” or “friend.”

But there is apparently a connotation with comadre of the woman in question being a gossip (or chismosa). A group of my coworkers who sit together at lunch every day and loudly complain about their lives has, unbeknownst to them, acquired a nickname: “Los Comadres.”