Graduation is in a few hours...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

And I can’t sleep.

At the end of the day I will officially be a senior. I can’t believe it.

Today is going to be ridiculously bittersweet. A few of my best friends are graduating… Fred, who took six years to finish and is finally, finally free of this damn college. I got him a bottle of his favorite scotch. Lisa, whose wedding to Katie in a few months shall be one of the highlights of my summer. Abby, who was my tea date every week we could manage it. And so on.

And then there’s Esther, the girl that is, for lack of a better phrase, my platonic girlfriend. The brief version: I like her. She likes me. She turned me down because she’s graduating. I understand, but now and then it’s hard to accept. I said goodbye to her tonight. Silly, sentimental me. I’m going to miss her fierce. I wish things had worked out different.

At the very end I felt like if I had pushed, if I tried to kiss her… but I didn’t. I know that was the best thing. I’m just trying to believe that it was.

Maybe it’s the whiskey, maybe it’s the insomnia. I can’t help but look out my window and think of empty rooms, of having a ceremony and leaving town afterwards. Of what might have been if the timing was different.

I wonder where a year is going to take me. I guess I’m scared- scared of grad school, scared of being lonely, scared of more frustration with women, who are going to be the end of me but what a way to go. Scared that I don’t know what’s going to happen after I get my bit of paper. From here it seems like a void without structure.

Looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day today.

Here’s to the class of 2003. I’m going to miss you bastards.

Dear old Dartmouth, give a rouse…

2

((andygirl))

Head up honey.

We’re given people around us who are meant to be there.
Next year you’ll have spaces in your life, but they’ll be filled by new faces, to teach you new things.

It’s a beautiful day, your future is bright, and I can’t wait to see what you make of it.

3

There are many things we are meant to learn at college. They are not all taught in the classrooms.

[sub]Damn, that sounds pretentious. And it’s probably not the least bit helpful, either. But if it’s any consolation, try to remember that the same currents that take some people out of your life also bring new people in. Touch a few lives, get touched in return, curse the fates, a few epic struggles, joy, sorrow; I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it.[/sub]

4

Damn, girl.

I guess I’m not really too social, but I never really noticed people coming in and leaving at McGill. It is pretty big (how many students is Dartmouth?) and many of them stay in Montreal.

I guess it’s magnified by it being a college town where people don’t stay. Sorry that things are coming to an end.

hugs If you need to talk, you know where to call. Love you, Andy.

5

Congratulations to the class of 2003!

But LONG LIVE THE CLASS OF '04!

6

It was a lovely ceremony.

At the end Es and I hugged a ridiculous amount and didn’t say so much. The last I saw of her, she was walking off into the crowd. She’s gone now; I’ll be surprised if I see her again for a very long time.

I went back to my house, ate some food, congratulated my house’s grads, and went back to bed.

I can’t believe I’m a senior now.