I have this bumper sticker, but it’s not on my car…
it’s on my dresser mirror
“Jesus may love you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.”
Which accurately sums up my opinion of those who feel the need to proclaim their religious beliefs.
“Of all the things that I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”
It’s true, too…
On my favorite tee-shirt with a picture of Santa caught placing gifts under the tree by a little boy, “I’m sorry you saw me Billy. Now I have to kill you.”
My all time favorite button includes a visual, so it’s hard to get the full impact… it’s a picture of Gumby with a long walking stick, dressed in a simple white tunic-y thing, and the text reads: “Mahatma Gumbhi, Man of Peace.”
Cracks me up every time I look at it.
On my car before I wrecked it:
If you can read this then you’re not the president
Others:
My karma ran over your dogma
Evolution: 50 million amphibians can’t be wrong
Jesus is coming - spit or swallow
A button I just ordered for a friend of mine:
Difficult? I can make you pray for difficult.
Chicago Police - HOMICIDE: Our day starts when yours ends
(picture of a smoking gun barrel) Come back to DETROIT, we missed you the first time !"
“Bomb Technician. * If you see me running, try to keep up !”*
God was my co-pilot, but we crashed in the Andes and I had to eat him.
My other car is a figment of my imagination.
My other bumper sticker is much funnier.
Honk if you love making irritating noises.
My parents went to a planet where the dominant lifeforms have no bilateral symmetry, and all I got was this lousy F-shirt.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you’d make a nice sandwich.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
– Mark Twain
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
– Art Hoppe
I speak BASIC to clients, 1-2-3 to management, and mumble to myself.
– Anonymous
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
– Fran Lebowitz
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
– George Carlin
Gravity is the soul of wt.
– John Langdon
Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
– G. K. Chesterton
That was Zen. This is Tao.
– Peter da Silva
If you had only kept quiet, one would have gone on believing you were wise. [Si tecuisses, philosopus manisses.]
– Boethius (c.480-524)
Cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit.
– John S. Nichols
Whatever else happens, we shall remain stupid.
– Gustave Flaubert
That’s probably enough…
"Hey buddy, pop the clutch between your brain and your mouth why dontcha? "
- Dexter Fullbright to
umm, I forgot who he was talking to. It wasn’t me though.
I have a few good t-shirts:
I eat small people. (I’m 6’9", 300#)
eschew obfuscation
Baroque: when you’re out of Monet
Do you have change for a paradigm?
And, of course, the classic bumper sticker:
visualize whirled peas
…wonders where igotitlives…
…whoops…sorry…
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think
Jesus may love you, but I think you’re garbage wrapped in skin.
I’m a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule - Randal from Clerks
I don’t miss God, but I sure miss Santa Claus - Courtney Love
How about a nice tall glass of ShutTheFuckUp?
**My Australian Cattle Dog is smarter than your Honor Student. **
The one I saw was “Jesus is coming-stick out your tongue”
Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Born again Pagan.
I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
www.northernsun.com has a lot of these…it’s a little left leaning politically for me, but the pagan bumper stickers crack me up. I especially like “God is too big to fit in one religion” and “In the case of rapture can I have your car?”