I started another one like this before the board went down and, of course, I lost it so let’s see if we can get some of the things we had back again.
Mine:
Your village called, their idiot is missing.
5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions.
Everyone’s out to get me because I’m paranoid.
I did NOT escape from an asylum, they gave me a day pass.
I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.
Save a tree, eat a beaver.
If the world didn’t suck we would all fall off.
Save the planet, kill yourself.
To save time, assume I know everything.
“Drugs are bad for you. . .but they feel SO good going down!”~Brett Scallions from Fuel
Ok so they aren’t the best. That’s why I’m counting on you guys. Post away!
Nancy Leibowitz’ buttons have the most fabulous sayings onn them:
http://www.nancybuttons.com/catalog.cgi?action=browse&
T-shirt “I killed Kenny.”
My mom still can’t figure out why kids under 25 were calling me “You bastard!” as we walked through the Orlando airport.
lol, that’s pretty funny. By the way you can also post lyrics.
And on that jaundice moon that fills the sky
Asheigh Brilliant has a great series of “Pot Shots”–some are cheesy, but most are quirky and fun.
http://www.ashleighbrilliant.com/catalog.html
Labdad
April 1, 2002, 8:16pm
7
“If you marry for money, you’ll earn it at minimum wage”
“Never pay over $50,000 for something that doesn’t have a basement under it.”
Both from my grandfather.
I MUST have that shirt. Where did you get it?
Sheri
Seen on a very tal person:
I always liked this bumper sticker:
“I said no to drugs, but the drugs didn’t listen.”
“I had sex with Michael Focou and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”
“Support Cannibalism…Eat Me”
“I’ve Found Jesus- He was in my trunk the whole time”
“Dead Girls Don’t Say No!” (Just the thought of necrophilia freaks people out, myself included)
My favorite…
‘I like you, you remind me of when I was young and stupid.’
Elvis is ALive and Living in my Pants. Feel him. 25 cents.
Friends
Fiver
April 2, 2002, 2:05pm
15
On a t-shirt (for a bail-bond company):
“Aaron Bonding: Where it’s always springtime!”
On a button I bought over the weekend:
“Sorry won’t bring back Johnny’s testicle.”
On a bumper sticker:
“Jesus is my co-pilot…and we’re cruising for pussy!”
and her bumper sticker said:
“Mean People Suck, but I Swallow”
and that’s much better than the GratefulPhishhead types who just stop it at Mean People Suck.
Two bumper stickers I see every morning on my ride to work:
“Back Off! I’m a Postal Worker!”
“My kid beat up your honor roll student.”
Friends help you move.
Real friends help you move bodies
madcat
April 2, 2002, 4:06pm
19
My sister has this on a plaque in her kitchen:
“No woman ever shot a man while he was doing the dishes.”
I saw this in a catalog the other day and just about died—perfect for Dopers:
“Proud to be a 'merkin”
