Secluded English country home, all the standard amenities, including crenellated towers, mullioned windows, and portraits of ancestors going back 500 years. The grounds include a yew alley. But the proximity to the moors, with the superb opportunities to pursue lepidoptery and other such scientific pursuits are what make this place a real gem. Not to worry about the nearby prison; regular K-9 patrols provide security.
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If “security” is the right phrase for a spectral hound from Hell who’d as soon tear your throat out as look at you.
This mansion has it all! Old-world character and charm; underdeveloped location just hours away from prosperous Lake-Town. Built-in indoor water feature and other original details too numerous to mention. A real treasure!
Vendor does not warrant property dragon-free.
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OCEANFRONT PROPERTY on Pacific island. Solid masonry construction, avant-garde architecture. Convenient to beach, surfing, birdwatching, and loathsome spheres and dimensions apart from ours. Open House at unpredictable intervals; please do not take offense at current occupant’s demeanor.
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] OCEANFRONT PROPERTY on Pacific island. Solid masonry construction, avant-garde architecture. Convenient to beach, surfing, birdwatching, and loathsome spheres and dimensions apart from ours. Open House at unpredictable intervals; please do not take offense at current occupant’s demeanor.
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Built in measureless aeons behind history by the vast, loathsome shapes that seeped down from the dark stars - many quality features! Time-share a possibility!
Suburban house for sale. Immaculate. The last owner was a cleaning machine. Convenient to NYC, great men’s recreation club in town, quiet, kept-to-yourself neighborhood. Once you and your wife have lived here for around four months, you will love it. Contact Stepford Realty.
[QUOTE=Scuba_Ben] Miller, I’m not sure your ad meets equal housing opportunity regulations. I may have to send some Firstborn to discuss the legal points with you.
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The house that Mrs G and I bought was advertised as a “gardener’s delight”. What it really meant that prior previous idiot owners thought 30 years ago that landscaping the perimeter with little pine trees every four feet was cute. When we purchased, all of these trees were now between 20 and 50 feet tall. I cut down a dozen of them myself, and had a company come and take down the 25 remaining trees that were to tall to fell without insurance to back you up in case you sliced a neighbor’s house in half.
SWF seeks SWM for love, companionship, back-taxes on charming antebellum gem near metro Atlanta. Home is spacious and atmospheric, built according to no architectural plan whatever, with extra rooms added where and when it seemed convenient* and some structural damage due to loving large family and serving as HQ for occupying army, but with some TLC, elbow grease, ex-slaves and a post-war fortune it could go from ruins to regal quicker than you can say “40 acres and a mule”! House viewable by appointment only, SWF viewable at local eatery.
Atlanta papers, a few years later:
For sale: wonderful Gothic mansion that will make your frigid wife and dimwitted former slaves resound with cries of “Lawsy, we sho is rich now!” Some will say this house is built for show but frankly you won’t give a damn as you stand atop a wonderful handcarved and massive staircase massive red staircase that’s perfect for grand entrances, entertaining guests, or ending unwanted pregnancies. Stained glass depictions of famous local beauty included in sale price! Divorce situation so owners are motivated.
*The book’s description of the house- at major odds with cinematic version.
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Dominate your neighbours! Imposing tower residence, previous owner elderly bachelor. Built to last with ancient stone construction; rooftop courtyard with extensive views perfect for guests. Adorable gatehouse cottage onsite: perfect for the kids! This charmer would suit a professional single or couple, with a low maintenance garden: last owner has done all the work for you, with extensive landscaping work and treefelling carried out. A handyman’s paradise, with a vast network of underground forges and smithies. Some superficial water damage reduces the price: vendor must sell now due to changed circumstances.
Middle Earth Realty: “If It’s Precious To You, It’s Precious To Us”
[QUOTE=Scuba_Ben]
I’d run this listing by an MD I know in London – he has a lot of experience in unusual circumstances – but he got dragged into the legal troubles resulting from his roommate’s drug habit.
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Undoubtedly, he found a solution to his problem…a seven percent solution, perhaps?
Neo-Baroque musical/theatrical performance space now available. Luxurious appointments! State-of-the-art illumination! Enjoys long-standing support of neighborhood residents with serious interest in the arts! Great opportunity for a dedicated drama club! Even better opportunity for a committed drama club!
Landmark building located in one of New York City’s most exclusive nabes. Central Park view, friendly neighbors. Excellent area for raising Satan’s child.
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Central Park View! Well-maintained brownstone with fully-equipped gourmet kitchen, office, custom elevator, and large greenhouse on the roof. Includes orchids and a large collection of beer-bottle caps.
