If “security” is the right phrase for a spectral hound from Hell who’d as soon tear your throat out as look at you. 
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Don’t forget the world class masonry / stonework!
Brian
OCEANFRONT PROPERTY on Pacific island. Solid masonry construction, avant-garde architecture. Convenient to beach, surfing, birdwatching, and loathsome spheres and dimensions apart from ours. Open House at unpredictable intervals; please do not take offense at current occupant’s demeanor.
Built in measureless aeons behind history by the vast, loathsome shapes that seeped down from the dark stars - many quality features! Time-share a possibility!
Suburban house for sale. Immaculate. The last owner was a cleaning machine. Convenient to NYC, great men’s recreation club in town, quiet, kept-to-yourself neighborhood. Once you and your wife have lived here for around four months, you will love it. Contact Stepford Realty.
Historic family mansion, colorful background, secluded rural setting, structural integrity . . . A great fixer-upper! Must go NOW!
Please direct any legal complaints to my lawyer.
AMITYVILLE RIVERFRONT . . . Spacious & gracious executive Colonial. Center hall, lge liv rm, fireplc, French doors open’g to covered patio, formal din rm, kitchn w/ sunny bkfast nook & svc area, den, 4 BR’s, 3 bths, garage. Treed 1/3 acre. Bulkheaded BOATHOUSE . . . $90s. CONKLING REALTY.
Woah. Great find. :eek:
Priory in rural England now available cheap. Rich in local history. Extensive . . . storage space. Slight vermin problem.
The house that Mrs G and I bought was advertised as a “gardener’s delight”. What it really meant that prior previous idiot owners thought 30 years ago that landscaping the perimeter with little pine trees every four feet was cute. When we purchased, all of these trees were now between 20 and 50 feet tall. I cut down a dozen of them myself, and had a company come and take down the 25 remaining trees that were to tall to fell without insurance to back you up in case you sliced a neighbor’s house in half.
Gardener’s delight my ass.
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Second-Empire-style mansion available – basement laboratory, topiary garden, picture window w/ view of cemetery.
Hey, GargoyleWB: would this suit?
Dominate your neighbours! Imposing tower residence, previous owner elderly bachelor. Built to last with ancient stone construction; rooftop courtyard with extensive views perfect for guests. Adorable gatehouse cottage onsite: perfect for the kids! This charmer would suit a professional single or couple, with a low maintenance garden: last owner has done all the work for you, with extensive landscaping work and treefelling carried out. A handyman’s paradise, with a vast network of underground forges and smithies. Some superficial water damage reduces the price: vendor must sell now due to changed circumstances.
Middle Earth Realty: “If It’s Precious To You, It’s Precious To Us”
Undoubtedly, he found a solution to his problem…a seven percent solution, perhaps?
Neo-Baroque musical/theatrical performance space now available. Luxurious appointments! State-of-the-art illumination! Enjoys long-standing support of neighborhood residents with serious interest in the arts! Great opportunity for a dedicated drama club! Even better opportunity for a committed drama club! 
Paris Opera House for sale. Includes full finished basement with dungeons, lake, secret lair, and beaucoup rooms.
Central Park View! Well-maintained brownstone with fully-equipped gourmet kitchen, office, custom elevator, and large greenhouse on the roof. Includes orchids and a large collection of beer-bottle caps.