All those who are against gay rights and gay marriage can feel very proud this week.
Without gay marriage or an equivalent there is no right for gay partners to be treated as spouses for immigration purposes. For four years my beloved and I have hung in and tried various angles to be together. We have snatched weeks here and there, maybe a few months if we were lucky but most of the time I sat on my side of the pacific, she on hers. After four years it finally beat us down. We can’t see a way to make it permanent and the pressure of sustaining the long distance relationship has worn us out so we have reluctantly and tearfully had what was probably our final visit together.
Through some miracle we found eachother, through the narrow mindedness of legislators and institutionalised bigotry on both sides of the pacific we have lost eachother. Be proud you homophobes, be very proud. I and my love lie broken here under your feet, please commence your victory dance when it suits. I hope it brings you much pleasure, someone should get some and it sure as hell won’t be us.
If you don’t mind moving:
Both of you move to Vermont, the state I sprouted from. Not only do the majority of Vermonters not concern themselves with the sexual orientation of others (there are a few, but they are usually pretty crackpot. One old coot spouted off about how God would punish us with floods, tornadoes and other stuff if civil unions were made legal, as if meteorology hadn’t been invented yet), but gays and lesbians can marry legally there.
Maybe your SO could immigate under a different reason besides spouses, then you could take care of whatever else when that is done with? I dunno.
Regardless, I wish you both the very best in all things.
Sanscour
Oh, Thyla, I am so sorry to hear that. Neither country has any provision for partnership immigration? That’s horrible - Canada had that even before we had marriage or civil unions.
As a fellow also in an international LDR, I feel your pain. I don’t even want to think about how it would feel to know I couldn’t import Tom when we decided to.
“They think we are only playing at a game, and we do it to shock them,” said James Baldwin. That’s exactly it - a failure to recognize that there are people and pain behind this thrashing about.
There’s gotta be SOME way it can be done Thylacine . I understand and appreciate that you’ve said all you think can be done has been done, but there’s gotta be a way. I’m assuming one of you is trying to get into the US, and by God, if terrorists and illegal aliens can slip by the radar, then dammit you guys can too!!
Keep on searching, you and your SO deserve happiness. There’s gotta be a way! Lawyers, bribery, the “It’s not who you know it’s who you blow” theory, there’s something out there!
Thylacine, if you have a male gay friend who has an overseas lover and they want to be together, have him marry your lover and you marry his lover. Then you all can be with the one you love.
Sorry to hear it, Thylacine. I’m very sorry for your pain, and I am embarrassed that we live in a country where maintaining institutionalized bigotry than allowing its citizens to live and love in peace. In this respect, Canada is a much more civilized place than the US.
Sorry to hear it, Thylacine. I’m very sorry for your pain, and I am embarrassed that we live in a country where maintaining institutionalized bigotry is more important than allowing its citizens to live and love in peace. In this respect, Canada is a much more civilized place than the US.
I don’t know anything about immigration etc (but that’s never stopped a Doper from sharing anyway), but I know how tight Oz has gotten lately with all that stuff.
My heart tells you to move on and find a nice Aussie chick, but that would be like a slap in the face especially after 4 years. I am sorry.
The Gov. here will let boats of refugees in (not that I have a problem with that) but won’t let a healthy happy individual in.
Where is she from? Is she over 30?
Shit, actually there is nothing I can say to help you except jump on your band wagon of hate and damn the homophobian (?) short sighted, bastards that have made your life shit.
Have you tried sneaking her in, then keeping her hidden for ever, making a little love nest in the woods, changing your names and living in bliss forever?
I do believe that some explanation is in order here. Are you taking glee in a fellow human’s misery here, or do I misread your post? Does it make you happy that someone has had their heart broken? What, in short, is your deal?
As much as I try to distract myself it feels just too horrible to bear right now. Please trust that in those 4 years we explored all options and could not make it work without huge amounts of money.
I see the fights in this place over and over and just ache for all of us caught up in this horror, and there are a lot of us.
Can I ask you why you can’t get a male friend to “marry” her, or you rather, whoever needs to get into the country. I’m sure you’ll find someone who doesn’t care about marriage enough about marriage that they won’t mind having a contract signed up.
