Sandwiches have to be cut on the diagonal. If you cut them on the horizontal, all of the flavor falls out.
Exactly. A horizontally-cut sandwich has just been deprived of all its sandwich-essence and turned into a mutated bread-monster. If a sandwich is to be cut, the God-given, natural shape of the pieces is the triangle.
One of the things I learned from my adventure last year of reading the entire Modernist Cuisine set of books is that “American cheese” is cheese, that you can do the same sort of processing to virtually any cheese and that the whole “cheese food” thing was lobbying by competitors of the inventor of the process, who wanted it called “embalmed cheese”.
My brother bought me a fancy Panini press for Christmas. I like to get some Muenster Cheese, Salami, some nice bread that will get a go toast to it, like a sourdough, but it doesn’t have to be that. Brush with some olive oil and it’s delicious. I’ve used that thing a lot more than I thought I would. Makes some great and quick wraps and quesadillas too.
Mayonnaise in or on a grilled cheese is nothing short of an abomination. Butter on outside, cheese on inside, cook in a pan, eat. Huy Fong Sriracha is the only thing allowed on the inside in addition to the cheese.
No, it’s the exact opposite. The flavor falls out through the points.
The God-given natural shape of the sandwich is its natural, uncut shape. Anything that alters that is a mutation.
Marie Barone made grilled cheeses with bacon. Never tried it, but it sounds ok.
That’s a grilled bacon and cheese, not a grilled cheese. Nothing wrong with it, but it’s a totally different sandwich.
Except have you ever tried dipping an uncut sandwich in a bowl of hot tomato soup? Diagonally is ideal for such beauty. A great grilled cheese is made pristine by the inclusion of tomato soup.
That desecrates both the sandwich and the soup.
I think perhaps the anti mayo crowd is confused on one point. Which is totally the pro mayo side’s fault, because no one was explicit. When using mayo for a grilled cheese, we’re not talking about putting it inside the sandwich so it’s thick gloppy hot Satan spooge. We’re talking about smearing a thin layer on the outside, so that the fat in the mayo heats up and fries the bread and entirely disappears. It’s better because it’s easier and quicker to make if you don’t have soft butter ready. It’s equivalent in taste. But it must be real, full fat mayo, not miracle whip, not reduced calorie, not low fat.
Oh, and horizontal or vertical cut sandwiches are perfectly cromulent… for children. Adults require diagonal cut sandwiches. Don’t ask me why. I didn’t make the rules. But look at every school cafeteria pb&j and gas station chicken salad on wheat and you will see I’m right. 
I butter one side and toss it on the griddle, move to the next slice of bread, butter one side, toss it on, until I have however many sandwiches I’ll be making. Then I put on the grated cheese, butter the other side, and top them. When the butter has melted on the top of the top sides, it’s usually time to flip over. Of course, for the timing to work out, the cheese has to be grated first.
Bingo.
Except, y’all must be using square bread. I prefer bread that has a natural shape from having been, y’know … baked … not manufactured. But in any case, I slice it so as to optimize dipping in a mug of Campbell’s Tomato Soup, which is heating up while the grilled cheese sandwiches are “grilling”.
Cut uncut straight diagonal dipped in tomato soup undipped mayo butter dry bacon onions … Come on, it’s cheese and bread. It’s all good.
My family likes to shred Colby and Cheddar cheese. Mix and use for grilled cheese sandwiches.
Eh, whatever. I like making grilled turkey and cheese, with sliced smoked turkey breast.
El SpouseO prefers his with real cheddar, Miracle Whip (on the inside, next to the cheese), butter (on the outside for the toasty part). I’ve had them that way; they’re fine, but I prefer Kraft singles (I know, heresy!), nothing else inside, buttered outside.
Does your family also wash their feet in champagne?
Grilled cheese is comfort food: it must be easy, cheap and taste damn good!
The only way to have fancy cheese in a grilled cheese is if you bend your pinky fingers as you tear open the plastic slices.
That is it!
Even the parmesan cheese I use is cheap! It comes ready grated in a plastic bottle by Kraft!
Colby and cheddar are the champagnes of cheese?
Open bag, grab handful of good sharp shredded cheddar, put handful on bread, close sandwich.
Yep easy.
Miracle whip?!?! I don’t think I wanna live on this planet anymore.
Hint: If the slices come individually wrapped in plastic, it isn’t fancy cheese.
Usually it isn’t even “cheese”.