Gross abuses of the English language

In My Humble Opinion
1

All right, those of you who purposely abuse the language in an attempt to be “hip” or “ironic” can pretty much ignore this post, but the rest of you better pay attention, since I don’t want to have to come over there and smack you upside the head :wink:

The opposite of “win” is lose, not loose. Lose also describes the act of misplacing something. Loose, however, means to release something. You do not “loose” a game; you lose it. Nor do you “loose” your place in line; again, you lose it. You cannot “loose” a friend unless you previously had said friend tied up in a closet somewhere.

To “coin a phrase” means to make up a new phrase, not to repeat a tired cliche that has been used millions of times before. I’m sure somebody, somewhere, used the expression “to coin a phrase” in an ironic way, since he or she knew darn well that the phrase in question was so common that nobody could possibly think he or she actually coined it, but since that time we’ve raised generations of idiots who think that the word “coin” must mean “to repeat” instead of “invent.” Stop the madness now!

If you really don’t care about something, then you couldn’t possibly care any less about it than you do. This is why it makes perfect sense to say “I couldn’t care less,” whereas “I could care less” is nonsensical. See, if you could care less, that means that you actually do care. If you don’t care, then you couldn’t care less. Got it? Good!

If you are totally nonplussed about something, are you indifferent about it? Blasé, even? NO!!! If you are nonplussed, you are in a state of utter confusion, bewilderment and perplexity. What, do you think that there is such a word as “plussed” that means amazed or something, and that “nonplussed” is the opposite of this word? BZZZZ! WRONG ANSWER! Nonplussed comes from the Latin “non plus” which literally means “no more” (as in “I could be no more surprised than I am right now”). Please, folks – this is one of my favorite words, and it is in serious danger of losing its wonderful meaning due to ignorant “common usage.” It’s up to each and every one of us to preserve our linguistic heritage.

Pardon the interruption. We now return you to your regularly scheduled broadcast…

Regards,

Barry

2

Instead of saying I’m “nonplussed,” I tell people I’m “minused.”

3

:smiley:

4

Can I still say “irregardless”, and mispell the word wyld?

5

Then there’s the chronic misspelling of the word

DEFINITELY

that I started a thread about recently. Why is that word so damn hard to spell? DE-FINITE-LY. My god.

6

“Excuse me, can I AXE you a question?”

7

Can I ask that words like ‘behaviour’ and ‘colour’ please have the letter ‘u’ reinserted?
:wink:

8

Sorry, I was reading about nucular bombs in the liberry.

9

Someone was trying to compare two items. She wrote to me:

“They’re the same, for all intensive purposes.”

Ye gods, woman, learn the phrase before you use it! It’s “For all intents and purposes.”

Another person said

“… without so much as a bye or leave.”

Aieee! Have you no familiarity with “By your leave” meaning “with your permission?”

Ugh.

And people should not be allowed out of elementary school until they know the difference between peddle, pedal, peddler and pedaller. The some folks talk, you’d think people sell their bikes to pay for cab fare when they want to get somewhere.

And I truly wish supermarkets would learn the difference between “less” and “fewer.” “Express lane: Nine items or fewer”. If you can count the items, it’s fewer. If it’s uncountable, it’s less. “Eat less fat by eating fewer burgers.” Is that so hard? “Less money, fewer dollars.”

10

I wish that schools would teach the difference between “to”, “too” and “two”. Or the difference between “there”, “they’re” and “their”.

I’ve seen these used interchangeably (often in the same sentence) so much that I almost come to expect it any more.

11

My personal pet peeve is the word “crispy.”

CRISP!

It’s a goddamn adjective to begin with! It does not need that extra y! What’s the opposite of crispy? Softy?

12

Because “crisp critters” doesn’t roll off the tongue as well as “crispy critters”

:wink:

Barry

13

“You’ve got . . . (mail, etc.)”

Dammit, you don’t “have got” mail, you just have mail. That little gem shows up everywhere & just grates on my ears (or eyes!). People don’t seem to understand how it’s incorrect, either - I remember mumble years ago I had to educate my freshman english teacher (who actually tried to argue the point with me!). /sigh

Oh, and UnwrittenNocturne - I don’t know, can you? :wink:

14

While I don’t climb the walls, that use of “any more” in a non-negative sentence is to be remarked, given this thread topic.

15

Say the term Oxymoron is brought up. Then some lackwit says that “Like Military Inteligence”. No- you maroon- that’s a JOKE, not an example of an oxymoron. You’re an example of a oxymoron, without the “oxy”.

Now- “fresh frozen jumbo shrimp”- there’s an oxymoron example for you.

16

You can say “wyld” as long as you’re referring to the band in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

17

I don’t know the chances of that happening, but you’ll be happy to know that “Harbour” is in common usage by developers hoping to give a veneer of class to their apartment buildings, housing tracts and the like which may or may not be adjacent to actual harbors.

And why does my American city have a Towne Center, which is in no way central? I guess I should be grateful it’s not a “Centre”.

18

That reminds me, TWDuke. Some comedian - and darned if I can remember who - said there should be an “e” tax for excess usage of “e.”

So a place like Ye Olde Towne Shoppe would be in biiiiiiiiiiiig trouble.

19

You don’t “diffuse” a tense situation, you defuse it!

20

No more than “military intelligence.”

“fresh frozen” means freezing it immediately instead of waiting until the boat docks. That is an important aspect of freshness and needs to be indicated.

“Jumbo strimp” describes the size of a type of seafood. Shrimp can come in several sizes, some larger than others. “Large shrimp” is certainly no oxymoron – it’s shrimp that’s bigger than the little pieces you find in Sau-Sea Shrimp Cocktail. “Jumbo” would be even larger.

So it looks like you’ve left off the “oxy-”, too.