Growing up NYC

In My Humble Opinion
21

Actually that summed up many real conversations I have had on the Subway IRL.
The misspellings added to the tone.

My Brother (lives in BayRidge Brooklyn) was interviewing for a job at Bayridge Toyota. One of the Part Salesman was on the phone with a customer.
“DO YOU WANT THE PART OR NOT, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!” --SLAM-- hanging up before the customer could possible answer.
This exchange captures part of the flavor of NYC & Brooklyn.

New Yorkers are very big on food, all types of food, they take pride in having the best that America can offer. Much like New Orleans but much quicker pace about eating.
You trip over good places to eat in the city that residents consider average and would be a great place to eat in the Burbs.
Everyone has said it, but everything about NYC is fast. The choices are huge.

BTW: Brooklyn has a great art museum also.

Jim

22

I do plan to do this, bearing in mind there are some ethnicities I couldn’t physically get away with. I look like a younger Charles Grodin, basically: a mutt of Scotch-Irish-Norwegian-English, a quarter Hispanic, an eighth American Indian.

Some ethnicities aren’t explicitly supported in the script, either. I don’t get to choose what I say, just how I say it.

23

Yo, do you read or WHAT?

Yeesh. Who you gotta be to get your post noticed around here?

24

So I missd yun, wadda wan do, make **a fedral case outta it? **
Wadda bout the Cloi-stas, see you missed wun.

Jim {Sorry I did miss it, Cloisters are very cool, part of Met but far North of Manhattan}

25

Many good things have been said already about attitudes of “valuing competence”, “don’t waste my time”, etc.

Here’s another anecdotal example, I guess, of a NY mentality…

Back in the late 1990s, I lived and worked for 2 years in Baltimore (which dubs itself “Charm City”) while my wife held a post-doctorate position at Johns Hopkins. I was working in a cubicle in the first few weeks at my job there, and the guy in the cubicle next to mine (let’s call him “Tom”) was a nice, mellow guy, easy to work with and fun to talk to, and a native Baltimorean (“Baltimoron” :wink: ).

One day I overheard him talking to someone on the phone, low enough that I couldn’t make out what he was saying. Then he got more excited, more animated; he spoke faster, louder. Then suddenly he leaped up out of his chair and exclaimed, “Hey, I’ve got a better idea! Why don’t you take your design…”

…and I was frozen in shock as I heard him say this…

“…to <database admin> to see if there are any performance issues?”

Well, well. Tom really did have a constructive “better idea”. Meanwhile, I had been positive that the only possible phrase that could ever follow the start of his sentence was, "…and shove it up your ass!"

26

Actually I confined my list to museums that offer modern or contemporary art. I list every museum in The City, we’d be here all week.

Speaking of The City, to New Yorkers there is only one. New Yorkers can be very provincial like that.

Have you read much Calvin Trillin? If not, you should pick up several volumes for quintessential NYC humor/food writing. I’m only guessing but your character might be loosely based on him.

27

Those little push-buttons for the walk/don’t-walk signs don’t work; so it’s your right to jaywalk.

Becomes confused the first time in another city, because Downtown isn’t the southern section of the city.

Becomes nonplussed when non-New-Yorkers ask ill-defined questions such as, “Oh, you’re from New York? Which part? The City or Uptown?”

28

You know, when I moved out here, I was really confused by this. “Whadya mean, downtown is North? That’s not normal.”

I think the biggest attitude thing about New Yorkers is the feeling you lived in the center of the universe. It’s the greatest city on earth and all, center of finance, culture, news, etc. It’s easy to forget that the rest of the world (or, say, state) exists for some people.

Many New Yorkers have a different sense of personal space. You become accustomed to the crowds, yet you get good at preserving the air around you. I’ve been admired by people out here for my ability to crowd-weave; to walk at a good clip through a crowd moving in more than one direction, without touching anyone and without making eye contact.

Also, seconding the talk fast. Seriously.

29

Wedon’ttalkfast.

30

I actually have a theory about that - the further north you go, the faster the natives talk. My friend from Montreal makes me sound like I’m from Alabama

Born and raised Lawn Guylandt here. But my cousin is Brooklyn (and both my parents were) so I’ve had enough exposure.

Attitudenally (is that a word?) (NYers tend to make up words) you need to exude a relaxed confidence. While there are some very arrogant, nasty NYers, most are so at ease with being “in charge”, it’s appears as effortless as they think it is. I’ve alwys thought of Lilith (Cheers/Frasier) as a NYer, even tho she lived in Boston. the “Friends” are most definitely NOT NYers, excpet maybe for Phoebe. Donald Trump is a good example, but needs better hair and less of a “Hey! Look at me!” thing to be a good NYer. NYers are very style conscious, even the men, but not so much with the MetroSexual - they leave that for the outer boroughs. NYers are usually in a hurry, many feel they deserve special treatment simply because of the neighborhood they live in. And yeah - all this varies greatly depending on which neighborhood. Someone from the VIllage is very different from some from East 83rd,. So you first need to determine what part of Manhattan the character is from - then take it from there

31

I lived in or near NYC for 25 years, and you get so accustomed to that mindset that it’s hard to step back and analyze it.

One thing is that Manhattanites are constantly bombarded with every facet of life, more than anyone could possibly absorb; so have to prioritize and compartmentalize a lot. You’re too busy to look up at the tall buildings or notice the trash in the streets or be aware of the homeless person you just stepped over. These are the things tourists are aware of, but to you they’re just background, like traffic and crowds and noise. You don’t let them intrude on the more important things, like where to have your next meal.

And there’s a certain fearlessness. For a few years I worked nights, and walked home in the wee hours. I just walked purposefully and didn’t interact with anyone, and never got mugged. The typical tourist would look afraid, and could get into trouble.

As others have mentioned, New Yorkers have a total disdain for anything touristy. They wouldn’t be caught dead going to the top of the Empire State Building or the Statue of Liberty. And the’re quite unimpressed about encountering famous people on the street.

And there’s always a sense of comrades-in-suffering. You know that everyone else is dealing with the same crap that you are - be it the crowded subways or the high price of housing or the noise. Everyone is a survivor. We all saw this in the aftermath of 9/11.

But the best thing is the (parochial) attitude that you’re living in the epicenter of the world. Remember that old New Yorker cartoon showing the world from a New Yorker’s perspective? Everything else is just a vast wasteland, with a few unimportant landmarks here and there.

32

**How did we get stuck in the World of the Bold?

**There.

33

I would like to thank everybody for their responses.

One of the reasons I wanted to ask New Yorkers what they thought made them different was because the director asked me to imagine myself as my character, and what made me different growing up in NYC. “That’s like asking a fish what it’s like not to be wet,” I protested. How can anybody know what makes them unique if they haven’t been anything else?

I have seen a lot of these self-described New York habits in residents of other cities: the tendency to eschew touristy places and go to that little hole-in-the-wall Indian restaurant that only you know about, for instance, is not uniquely New York. I know people who have lived in and around Seattle for years and never go to the top of the Space Needle. There are, after all, better views for less money and shorter lines.

The idea that a certain part of town has a certain character or personality isn’t uniquely NYC, either, for that matter.

Every little tidbit of information contributes, even if some are harder to convey on stage. Talking fast? I can do that. Dressing differently? That’s up to the costumier. Some details you have to just know and not show. I have come away with this with some very valuable information for characterizing a big-city person (in general) and NYC (in particular).

This has been very useful! I can tell you are all very proud of your city. :slight_smile:

34

You have to read some Calvin Trillin though. First of all his earlier writings paint a good portrait of what NYC was like late 70s/early 80s (formative years for your character I would think). Secondly he is a humor writer and very “New Yorky” in his outlook for lack of a better term – he once wrote an entire novel about a guy who liked to find a really good parking spot and just sit in his car and read the paper, Tepper’s Not Going Out.

If you can get the New York Times with the Metro Section intact, check out “Metropolitan Diary” a collection of amusing anecdotes about life in The City. I think it appears Wednesdays, but I could be wrong on that.

Another thing is political views. Although New Yorkers are stereotypically jaded and cynical when it comes to interactions with actual people, they are as a group more liberal than most parts of the country, consistintly voting in some of the most liberal Democrats on the national stage. They tend to think that politicians should “butt out” of their personal lives. “Just leave me alone” might be a kind of local motto.

35

It’s like this: other cultures confront you here. Those you interact with –say, cutlures with large numbers of immigrant tradespeople – you ideally give a sort of guarded respect to. Those that speak to you culturally or politically – you embrace for the best that they have to offer. Those that don’t do either of these things – you don’t have time for. This usually includes most of the USA, except for parts of California. There’s always time to express a healthy disdain for Hollywood, crystal-gazers, or the laid-back.

You have to “not have time for” a lot of things here. Your time is your most precious resource. Your space is a close second. Guard them both with vigilance. Which Obsidian addresses succinctly:

It’s a tricky thing, really. You don’t want to airily breeze through people as if you’re ballroom dancing. That shows you’re above them. You need to blend in with the rhythm of people who have a lot on their minds, not all of it happy or pleasant. You can make nice time on Fifth Avenue by cantering in long relaxed strides, but you’ll be out of rhythm with everyone else who’s moving in small rapid thrusting steps, and likely to smack into one of them, who may very well feel resentful of your cavalier way. Maintain a certain bodily tension and a facial mask that’s neutral bordering on callous. You have to twist your guts up just a little, not to the point of acid indigestion, but to the point where you respect others’ negative energy.

Also, seconding the talk fast. Seriously.
[/QUOTE]
And talk seriously. Love, hate, or dismiss –but do it quickly, surely, and strongly. You can change your mind at any time –it’s all about change –so be in the moment. Middling emotions are not New York –they’re a waste of time. Everything is either important or off the radar. Indecision is all right if it’s serious indecision. Remember you can waste your own time, too. Always be prepared to ask yourself or anyone or the world: Who’s got the time? It’s not a question. It’s a way of life.

36

OTOH, he did grow up in Kansas City.

Not that Trillin isn’t a NYer by now. He is. He’s just not a native, not by twenty years or more.

37

True – but his being Jewish makes up for that and then some. It’s a great big part of his writing and his humor, even though he only tacitly acknowledged it for a long time.

38

I love this sort of thing. I’m always trying to come up unnoticed things that make NYC different. I’ve been living in Brooklyn for about six months, and having grown up in rural Ohio and lived in Chicago during college, here’s what I’ve noticed:

New Yorkers never wonder why anyone is here. I’ve never been asked, “What brought you here?” No one has to ask–if you’re here on vacation, if you moved here recently or long ago, you’re here because it’s freakin’ New York.

The lack of self-consciousness in public amuses me. People just go about their business, and sometimes it’s really weird. Maybe I’m acting really weird sometimes too. But I don’t have time to care about what these random millions of people think of me. And most likely, they’re not paying attention.

New Yorkers can take the availability of stuff for granted. I grew up in a place where you couldn’t really walk to anywhere interesting and everything closed at 9 or 10PM. If you wanted some cool ethnic food or to see an independent movie, you had to drive an hour to get to Columbus, where you might be able to find what you wanted. This is what life is like for a great deal of people, but New Yorkers think it’s crazy.

This one’s weird to me: an absolute lack of knowledge regarding anything remotely rural. My husband’s writing teacher, a New Yorker since birth, told a student that his description of wet grass clumping in the bottom of a lawnmower was inaccurate. “Grass doesn’t do that!” I’m positive she’s never used a lawn mower. She also told him that a muddy garden doesn’t dry up when the sun comes out. She has no idea that she’s in no place to talk about that sort of thing! Here, you can be an adult who has never seen a cow in real life and has never even thought about the fact that most Americans* have. If you grew up anywhere with lots of space outside/farms nearby/your own yard with a swingset, etc., then try to imagine never having been around or even thought about these things.

All that said, I’m not trying to paint a negative image. New Yorkers are TOUGH. During the transit strike, everyone just hefted up their shopping bags and walked calmly and quickly across the Brooklyn Bridge in 35-degree weather to get home. It was pretty awesome; I loved being a part of it despite all the inconvenience. I really like the vast majority of the New Yorkers I’ve met. Now if we could only do something about those obnoxious hipsters…

*I’m not sure about the stats on this, but I assume that even city-dwellers in other parts of America have left the city by car and driven through farmland. Many lifelong NYC residents I know have only left the city by plane or have never driven far enough in the direction of farmland.

39

I love this observation, it is so true I never noticed it before. It had me laughing pretty loud.
Why is someone in NYC, why wouldn’t they be at NYC.
I believe deep down almost every New Yorker or Born in New Yorker (like me) believe NYC is the center of the Universe. :smiley:

**If you confronted us with how wrong that was, we would agree but deep down we would go right back to thinking it again. ** :slight_smile:

Jim

40

Mondays. Used to be Sunday, but it moved. Be careful - many are tourist written. But some are pretty good.