So, the female half of the couple responsible for getting me together with the bloke who dumped me two days before Christmas just announced that they’re getting married, and are going on honeymoon to the Maldives. Grrrrrr.
Now, I know he’ll be at the wedding as he’s one of the best mates of the male half of the couple. So, I have until mid-March to:
Get myself into great shape so that I look absolutely drop-dead, tongue-lollingly, eye-poppingly, eat-your-heart-out-you-stupid-c**t GORGEOUS at the wedding (without out-doing the bride, of course ).
Find myself a stunning outfit and great hairstyle, to compliment the amazing body I’m going to have by then.
Get myself an incredibly handsome, charming, funny and sucessful man to accompany me, and lavish me with adoring, undivided attention all night.
I also have to decide on a stratergy of how to deal with him. I’m torn between:
a) Giving him a scathing look and ignoring him completely - this would be my first instinct, but I don’t want to do anything that might cast a shadow over our friends big day and this might make things awkward for them. Of course, they’ll probably have other things on their mind!
b) Being coldly civilised.
c) Being breezily, chirpily friendly, in a sort of “Did we go out?? Gosh, that’d completely slipped my mind” sort of way.
On top of all of this, I have to find some way to be happy for my friends, as at the moment I just can’t be. Sorry, but I’m still very bitter and angry at the moment, and I hate love, and couples, especially happy ones, and I want everyone to get their heart broken and be as hurt and angry as I am. Don’t even get me started on Valentine’s Day…
I’ll come with you. I like weddings in Cornwall, I went to one last August bank holiday. Caused my break up with mrs berserker at the time though.
Don’t give the fool the time of day, if your previous posts on the subject are anything to go by. Besides it’s a foregone conclusion that i’m at least 3 times more rock than he is, if theres any…problems.
Here’s my advice, and keep in mind, it’s free and worth every penny…
If you can accomplish #'s 1, 2 and 3, you should have him at the very least wondering if it was the right idea to break up with you. (I’m assuming this is your intent. I don’t know any details other than what’s in this thread.) If that’s the case, and if you show up at the wedding and don’t give him the time of day, and shoot him scathing looks, it will be very easy for him to think to himself “well, she’s acting like a bitca, so I’m sure I DID make the right decision.”
HOWEVER, if, by accomplishing #'s 1, 2, and 3, you have him wondering if it was the right idea to break up with you, and you see him at said wedding, and give him a somewhat genuine “Hi <dirtbag’s name>. How have you been?” and proceed to perfectly pull off the “polite, fun, happy, charming…yet totally over him” vibe, he’ll be losing sleep for weeks over foolishly letting one of the good ones get away.
Or at least I would in that case. Either way, good luck.
Take along another bird and let the grapevine tell him you’re going through a lesbian phase but you expect to back on blokes again at some point.
Even with this plan, (a disguised) paulberserker might still be a good bet, but he’ll need to start practicing quite soon as I suspect there’s a little work to be done.
Or one of each, and claim to be going through a polygamous bi phase. I think I can borrow a wig to wear, or a girl willing to pretend to be a lesbian, whichever is better, if that helps
PS. He’s not worth it. Be beautiful because you owe it to yourself, not for his sake, etc, yadda, yadda, boring advice, yadda, has to be said, yadda.
Choose number 3 and c): You’ll feel good about yourself for “rising above” and you’ll have an excellent time (find a guy who can dance - you’ll never go wrong at a wedding with a guy who really dance!).
After a few drinks, resist the urge to tell him what you really think, though - it will spoil all of your earlier efforts!
I couldn’t agree more with Maggy - take the high road. Have all the fun you want venting here or with friends IRL. But get yourself in whatever shape you want looks-wise (you GO, girl!) and give him nothing but the pleasure of your smile and informal chit-chat at the most.
What’s the line from the Who’s Tommy? “we’ll rape you, desecrate you - no, we’ll forget you better still”. Just forget him - or act like you have. You come across in the best possible light AND he gets some comeuppance…
Definitely show up looking fabulous, then be nice but distant. Smile and chat politely for a moment when/if you first run into him, but after that spend as little time as possible talking to him. Avoid looking over at him as well – if he catches you looking over at him, he’ll know you care what he thinks, thus gaining power over the situation. On the other hand, if he sees you looking beautiful and having a great time talking and dancing with other people without much interest in what he’s doing or who he’s with, you’ll look confident and interesting, like someone who is more than capable of being perfectly happy without his sorry ass.
Single? Check. Successful? Check? Charming? Check. I can certainly help you with #3.
As for your treatment of him, should you meet him, I’d suggest that it depends upon how he approaches you. If he apologises, be gracious; if he’s rude, let his words speak volumes; if someone tries to introduce you, politely decline.
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