I am the super of a building with a troublesome elevator who talks to a wolf, sings a sheep-shearing song, endures a broken back, and restores Snow White’s grandson to his throne. All while trying to return my daughter and myself to where we belong.
Sorry. Please try again.
May you Live Long and Prosper, Mr./Ambassador Spock.
Are you Les Nessman?
I was alone in the dorm, minding the phone like the upperclassmen asked/told me to do. After I took a message for the head of the auto club, I tried to call him and tell him about it. By some stroke of luck, I dialed a wrong number, and got this incredibly hot girl on the line. How do I know she was hot? She immediately came over to keep me company! However, it was a men’s dorm, and what with one thing and another, I got kicked out, and ended up moving into this old house with the divinely beautiful girl, and her two meddling sisters.
A most logical conclusion, sir.
I’m having fun, so here’s another to keep the game alive. We could use more things to guess.
I’ve got to find who killed Archer, 'cause that’s what one does for a dead partner.
Here’s yet another one:
Hey, gimme a double of what he’s having. Y’know, before this whole thing started, we didn’t have much. Him and me, we were best friends. Still are, I hope. Then this whole inheritance thing happened. Man, I thought we – okay, he’d be on easy street. Never have to worry 'bout money again, y’know? But look at him. It’s been barely a month, and he’s pissed it all away – a MONTH! And what does he got to show for it? Nothin. Nothing at all. Oh, sure, I got mine, but hey. We’re friends, right? I can’t stand to see him like this. I just can’t understand why he threw it all away.
(It occurs to me now that I don’t quite have the hang of this. I’m making 'em too long. Oh well.)
Uhura?
You got it.
I am not a real looker, but I’m comfortable with my body. Three hot women love to look at me. I may be deceased.
Zathras? Is that you?
I guess I’m making them too easy. 
My roommate and I work at an ad agency. We have to cross dress as women to have a place to live.
Bosom Buddies
Calling International Rescue! You’re John Tracy from Thunderbirds, aren’t you?
Ugly Naked Guy!!
I’m a jolly resistance fighter that likes to eat cigars and drink gasoline.
You should try ones a bit more obsure, like my latest:
Chocolate Mousse!
Which is John Larroquette’s character (whose name I can’t remember offhand) in The 10th Kingdom.
I was beginning to think that was too obscure!
I <3 The 10th Kingdom.
Two of them…might be easy, might be hard.
First:
I’ll kill you if you try anything.
Second:
I’m not who I seem. I walk perfectly fine, and I’m a very convincing liar.