“Do not taunt Revtim.”
“Consult your medical professional to see if you are healthy enough to taunt Revtim. Taunting Revtim may or may not result in neuritis, neuralgia, cramping, spotting, and sudden reversal of sexual orientation. However, an unexplained presence of pennies on your eyes is no cause for concern…”
“Taunting Revtim has not been evaluated by the FDA. Taunting Revtim is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.”
If Revtim begins to smoke, put Revtim down and step back at least 30 feet.
“Package contains one (1) Revtim. Read instructions before attempting to operate your Revtim. Batteries not included. Revtim Ten-gallon Hat and SDMB Junior Mod Coffee Cup sold separately.”
Consult medical help if Revtim gives you an erection lasting more than four hours.
Revtim sold by weight, not volume. Contents may settle during shipping.
If you have trouble installing Revtim, call customer service at 1-877-REVTIM1, where trained operators will place you on hold and play “The Girl from Impanema” until you hang up.
If Revtim remains upright for 4 hours or more, seek help from a physician.
Damn! … ninja’d!
Thank you. That was my point.
George Mason and James Madison are God?
In this context, we, the people, stand in for God. There is no such thing as human rights, except that we insist it is so. “We hold these truths to be self-evident” is the most sublime cop-out in human history, we don’t have to prove shit! It is so because we say it is so, human rights are the gift we give each other, and it depends on no other authority but We, the People.
Like alchemists turning lead into gold, we turn bullshit into Truth. And I cheerfully join the ranks of the heretics and blasphemers of any God that would deny it to us. And the horse upon in which He rode.
PS: Instructions unclear. Revtim stuck in ceiling fan. Advise soonest. Urgent!
Always reminds me of Kipling, in The Jungle Book, where he says, “The punishment is death where the murderer can be found; and if you think for a minute you will see that this must be so.”
I’ve loved this bit of self-justifying reasoning all my life. And I’ve thought about it for many, many minutes…and never seen why it must be so!
Maybe Jackie Mason is God?
James Mason is God, you fools.
So if the result of a basic liberty is undesirable, that liberty should be repealed? Selectively, of course, since I’m sure you’re not calling for controls on media corporations’ broadcasting.
Only for 60 Minutes.
…once…in the Marianas Trench…
Where is it enshrined that the right to free speech is in proportion to your personal wealth? I’m in favor of the Koch Brothers and George Soros not being able to buy elections. You’re just fine with the wealthy buying elections because you love to carry water for them.
Oh, that adaher! He has such a delightful sense of humor.