I know what you’re thinking - good, obviously. You freakin’ idiot. But stick with me on this.
On the face of it, it seems a fairly nice complement. But I once followed it up, only to be told ‘in a little brother kind of way’ (although was about 13 at the time). So, is it akin to being compared with a puppy or kitten or something? They’re ‘cute’, but nobody wants to knock boots with one.
So, lads, is it an insult? Lasses, what do you mean when you call a chap ‘cute’? Does it depend wholly on context? Help me read way too much into and over-analyse things.
If I tell a guy he is cute, it’s definitely a compliment. There is no “but I’m not attracted to you that way” unspoken qualifier. In fact, the current boyfriend seemed to catch on immediately when I told him on our first date, “You’re just about the cutest thing I’ve seen in a long time.” He blushed. And … here we are.
it’s definitely context, but it’s not that hard to decipher. if you ask a girl how you look, and she says “cute” it means you’re not her type. if a girl comes up to you unsolicited and tells you you’re cute, then it’s a compliment.
of course i’m basing all of this off how i would react. if a girl i didn’t think was terribly attractive asked me straight up how she looked, i’d probably answer “cute”. if i’m with some friends and they asked me what i thought of an unconventionally attractive girl, i’d probably answer “cute” as well. then of course, if i get the liquid courage to actually approach somebody and tell them they’re cute unsolicited, then she’s probably legitimately cute.
A guy one finds physically attractive can be called cute…though I can’t think of many situations in which I’d say that to a guy rather than about him.
But on the other hand, I once told people this after drinking: “You know, Evan’s really cute. But I don’t mean that I’m attracted to him. I mean like an overgrown four-year-old or a puppy.” Fortunately he wasn’t there to hear that himself
So, what was the context, anyway? Maybe there are clues in it. Or are you talking about a strictly hypothetical situation?
Oh right, yeah. Heard it second hand from a mutual friend of a lass I work with, can’t remember the exact words but it was along the lines of “Was out with so-and-so, your name came up?”
Me: “O RLY?”
“Yeah, she thinks you’re cute.”
Me: :dubious:
Like I said, I know it sounds good on the face of it but try being called cute by lasses only to be friendzoned at the last minute. Not that I’m, y’know, bitter or anything.
Plus if she is into us in that way I haven’t picked that vibe off her, but I am pretty thick-skulled liked that.
I’ve called a bunch of men cute. I’ve found that for me, at least, saying that someone is hot is code for they’re shirtless and have nice abs. A pleasing face means they are cute.
Strong physical compliment but depends on context. If said to another woman it means you’re fuckable or potentially fuckable. Whether this is in the immediate (ie she’s dating you) or the abstract (she is not in relationship with you) it means she finds you physically appealing on a very fundamental level. Now you may not be real world fuckable (RWF) once she gets to know you, and your charming personality gets in the way, but in the abstract you are doable.
It means a lot less if you are not in her sights as potential mate or hook up. In that context it would be more akin to a man telling another man his wife is attractive in an admiring way but respectful way.
There’s cute, and then there’s cute. Paul McCartney was never classically good-looking, but he was the epitome of cute. Then there’s Gary Coleman cute, which you don’t want to be.
In Ireland, being called cute is a good thing. However, there it means clever or sharp in a slightly devious manner. I was back home recently and my best friend’s wife called me a cute whoor the other day. Made my day.
For this thread, if she is calling you cute whilst you’re chatting her up then you’re in.
She wants to have sex with you. Girls tend to use the word cute as a super secret subtle way of saying “I really want to fuck him, and I know as soon as I indicate this to you, good female friend of mine, you’ll run and tell him, and I don’t want you to tell him I want to fuck him, so instead I’ll call him “cute” and hope he figures it out from there”.
Don’t talk yourself out of it. If you think she’s cute, the window is wide open, go make a move. (well, I wouldn’t because it’s shitting where you eat and all, but that doesn’t change what her intention is)
There’s a context where being called cute is the worst thing ever, but this is not that context. Go, play, have fun!
“She thinks your cute”? That’s understatement. It means they are attracted to you. It does not necessarily mean she wants to have sex with you, however. She’s likely not even thought that far. If you push that angle, you are likely to push too hard and ruin the attraction.
I’m actually kinda surprised that a PUA seems to think that women are usually instantly aroused to the point of sex. Even when I was studying* it as a kid they always mentioned that attraction is not a light switch but a volume knob. Heck, it’s what the entire PUA process is based on–making sure you don’t kill the attraction and instead let it build.
(And before I get lumped in–there’s a reason why I said “as a kid.”)
haha okay let me rephrase: In the moment she said that to her girlfriend, she was attracted enough to you to be open to the possibility that you may eventually lead things to sex with her. I just say it short-hand because guaranteed the OP isn’t going to err on the side of being too forward, he’s going to err on the side of not being forward enough (like he says, he doesn’t pick up the vibe, so odds are he’ll end up talking himself out of pursuing it by default).
Maybe that’s just for me. heyoooo
No but seriously, you guys are literal around here hey? It doesn’t mean he can go over to her desk, whip out his cock and she’ll splay her legs open haha It means she’s attracted to him and is giving off Indicators of Interest. Openly admitting her attraction to someone else is a big ioi. If he doesn’t act on it, that window of opportunity can close, thus my encouragement if he thinks she’s cute.
uhhh, but for the record while it means she’d be open to sex with you if you played things right, I recommend you simply ask her out but with the overall confidence of knowing that she likes you.
That’s arousal. Attraction and arousal are different but often related enough that they get lumped together in descriptions of concepts. While in this case the high level of attraction probably has a low level of arousal with it (since he’s not whispering sexy things into her ear on a date and all that right now, which in this particular case would result in high attraction and high arousal), the arousal can be volume knob’ed up to sex because she’s indicated that the volume knob is turnable.
You can have a high level of attraction with no arousal (ie - your volume knob isn’t turnable for the person)…this is looking up to your father, caring about your children, admiring a celebrity or sports star, everyone liking the friendly life-of-the-party person, etc., but then while you may describe your father or children as cute, you generally wouldn’t mean it in the same context as the girl in the OP. You can increase attraction without increasing arousal (friend zone’d guys, or your sibling becoming a more outgoing social person, or someone accomplishing an impressive feat, etc.).
Just clearing things up. Thanks for asking questions instead of insulting me, I’m always happy to clarify.
heyoooo