So for a while I was in this really dysfunctional relationship. I was depressed and had low self esteem, and I put up with a lot of shit for a lot longer than I should have. Anyway, one of the things he said was that I was cute, not pretty. This did not help my self esteem.
The question is: do you agree with him? Are there cute girls and pretty girls only, or is there some overlap?
Personally, I think there is overlap. And I am also starting to be ok with being cute, because a few people whose opinions I really value (and who are not jerks) have told me I’m pretty too. I have also been treated for my depression and have kicked that loser to the curb.
One day we’ll all be old and this will really be an exorcise in splitting hairs.
Everyone has their own interpretation of what cute or pretty is. Some people think pierced faces are pretty, I do not. I think being described as cute or pretty is flattering. If I were a woman I’d rather be called pretty though. But at the same time “cute” to me means youthful and “pretty” can mean fragile.
Men that base a woman’s worth on her looks, whether they be “merely” cute, or he is smitten speechless by her beauty, are worthLESS.
(Disclaimer: For those men who are prepared to be all insulted and defend their appreciation of beautiful women. Please note* I did NOT say men who are attracted to beauty are worthless. I said, “men who base a woman’s worth on her looks”).
That said. I am (or was before I became old and hideous) merely cute. Years ago, (decades actually), I had a boyfriend that celebrated my cuteness. He actually made it about more than my looks, “Cute” was part of my identity, it was in the whole package of who I am. It was charming and sweet of him.
Anyway, as far as your question, ummm, a qualified “no”. There are those who belong to that small percentage of physical perfection, or as near to perfection as to make no difference. And then there are the rest of us. What’s “pretty” to one man, is merely “cute” to another and your “cuteness” may appeal greatly to the right man as “beautiful” even.
Even if you are “merely” cute, cute that up to the nth degree and work it. Please sweetie, do NOT let one worthless man’s opinion on your looks make you feel inferior or slam your self esteem. I know this is going to sound so mom-like, but your looks are, in the most important scheme of things, only a small part of what one brings to a relationship.
At any rate, as I mentioned at the start, do NOT base your worth to a man on your looks.
ps. (imho, “cute” is a lot less ego dashing once you start getting old and losing your looks, and FWIW, “cute” lasts a lot longer than the skin deep variety of beauty)
I would much rather be called cute than pretty. Pretty (to me) implies a general level of beauty, whereas cute implies some quirkiness to my visage that others find appealing.
I was trying to come up with a way to define the distinction, but I think you said it very well. Brava - I think a girl who can use a phrase like “some quirkiness to my visage” appropriately is pretty cute.
Seriously though, I think there is a difference in cute, pretty and beautiful. Cute is a button nose with lots of freckles and dimples. Pretty is clean, dressed up and made up. Beautiful is like pretty, but to a greater extent. You can be all three, mind you, at least in my eyes.
Those are my personal definitions, so take them with a grain of salt. Or pepper if your sodium is too high.
Ouch. Yes, I think a certain type of guy uses the words that way. And good on you, Mirror, for dragging yourself out of that pit. I know it ain’t easy.
This does seem to be one of those things females can be hard-wired to have trouble accepting. I’ve been telling my wife for eight years I genuinely think she is both and she still contends that it can’t be. I can’t really think of an equivalent confuser for men…
Maybe ‘Look, just because his was bigger than your doesn’t mean yours isn’t big too!’
I prefer cute over “pretty,” and I like the quirkiness definition upthread. I also agree that cute is often applied to short women, which I prefer (being a short myself.)
There’s also something subtle going on with cute vs. “pretty”: cute girls usually don’t realize or trade on their prettiness; “pretty” girls often realize they’re pretty and get obnoxious about it.
Pretty, to me, is the kind of thing I would say about a woman if all that was attractive about her was her looks, or if that was all I knew of her so far. Cute is attractive in more senses than physically. I prefer cute, obviously. I’m female, and I also refer to men who attract me in a similar way as “cute” women as cute. I still haven’t figured out what the male equivalent of pretty would be, though. I usually cop out and say “good-looking” because the word “handsome” strikes me as old-fashioned for some reason.
A woman I call pretty can be upgraded to cute if I get to know her better and still like her.
Do we know each other in the real world? This is exactly how I would put it. I always prefer the cute girl to the beautiful girl. (Of course Audrey Hepburn qualified as both, so she wins over all others )
By the way, who are Inara and Kaylee? Probably a newer reference.
I’ll agree with the others that cute implies a personality type which is more alluring then merely pretty. I think of a pretty girl as the one who doesn’t give you the time of day, but is fun to look at, whereas the cute girl will make you smile and laugh, and is fun to be with.
My friend used to say that the best quality a girl could have was “playful”. It implied that she had a certain amount of sarcasm and good humor, but it manifested itself in a very sexy way. Cute girls tend to be playful. Pretty girls, IME, tend to be too stuck up to be playful.
