Never one to miss an adventure, Sue strips down, grabs a beer, dives in and does her best mermaid impression, nipping Surgo’s ankle on her way up… never spilling a drop 
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
::reaches over to check it out for herself::
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
::not to be outdone, purplebear leans over towards VB, falls over, and has to be helped up before she drowns, or finds something else interesting under the water…::
Oh, my! I must agree, definitely not squishy at all! And look at you, Pony! what do we have here???
Oh, yeah, that’s mine, thanks <referring to the flotation device holder in Pony’s grip>
Life is teaching you some painful lessons. But it is from adversity that strength is born. You may have lost the inning, but I know you’ll win the game.
Hey PCW, ::::shhhh:::: girls don’t fart, remember? If I’m to remain the sexy ingenue, we can’t let on that I’m a real person who performs such mundane bodily functions.
BTW, it was broccoli. Love that stuff. Good for yer bones, you know. Just not so great for the digestive tract.
Hey, why are we the only ones in the tub? I’m beginning to think our spaceship crew is of the Ricky Martin persuasion…not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Teaching: The ultimate birth control method.
(side note: I finally sat down and read the original thread in all its. . . um, glory. Now the computer lab thinks I’m crazy or something.)
Looks around, sees the red light flashing.
Umm. . . wait a minute, they covered that in the security officer quality training seminar. . . I know what that means. . . I can get this. . . umm. . .
Pulls out security officer handbook and reads through it.
Oh, yeah, that’s it!
EVERYONE TO THE BRIDGE! THEY’RE SHOWING PORN ON THE BIG screen!
– Sylence
If a bird doesn’t sing, I’ll wait until it sings.
2?!?! Who gives a rat’s scrot about 2?
Ah, lets just take this bad boy cruisin’.
Sigh. Well this is just gonna be one fine how-do-you-do, wherever we end up.
(Drops kilt) WTF, I could probably use a bit of a rinse meself – pass me that sponge there would ye Lass? No, no, the big one.
What’s that? Ye mean that floatin’ thing there isn’t a sponge? Well it’s doin’ a damned fine job just the same.
BTW, who in the hell is steering this orbitin’ whorehouse?
Dr. Watson
“Space? Why yes, thank you for asking.”
[sucks down a hefty draught of Guiness]
B-U-R-R-R-R-R-P!
Ahh. That’s the good stuff.
Appears as though I am just in time! You ladies need um, an oil boy! That’s it, yeha!
And it is absolutlely necessary for you to have your bodies covered every inch over with er, solar-nanite colloid oil. Otherwise, the, uh, nutrino rays will cause you to become bland and boring, and personal dryness will ensue. You want to party, don’t you? So you really should allow me to slather you with this oil, you’ll like it, to boot. It’s like a full body massage, only quick.
What? No, nevermind that the bottle says “The body shop” on it.
Huh? No, it’s not sensual massage oil! Who do you take me for? It’s the only bottle I had!
Anyway, looks like I got here not a moment too soon.
So-Whafu?
Oh yeah, relax guys. I brought my teletransmogrifier. Courtesy of Calvinhobbes Industries.
Anyway, you can select what you want here [sets dial to Swedish Bikini Team], punch in the amount here [sets other dial to 17], add any special modifications [sets dials to “horny” and “in a good mood”] and voila!
There you go! 17 horny Swedish bikini team in a good mood. Go get 'em ladies! Isn’t that great? It also works for stuff like hooter’s wings and such.
So anyway, I missed the last party, thought I would come get down on this one, especially since I saw so many of my friends here!
[Punches up case upon case of “the good stuff” on Teletransmogrifier and hits “make it” button.] Let’s party!
So, ladies, don’t you think we should get started on your, um, protection?
[Rubbing hands together and grinning like a drunken chinaman.]
how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking…
VvvV
“Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”
Well, since the Captain had to go lay down to recover, I guess that would be my job. Lessee…what does this button do again?
(Shadowfox depresses the button and the space shuttle flips upside down, sending naked bodies and beer bottles flying in all directions)
Shadowfox
“The dead have risen, and they’re voting Republican!” - Bart Simpson
Damned wimmens. Ye’ll never get the hang of this weightlessness thing will ye?
Dr. Watson
“He ain’t heavy, but you ought to meet his sister.”
Yeeeehaaaaaa! Yells VB as he somewhat gracefully does a 0 Gee cartwheel through the shuttle cabin, followed by slickery babes and globules of water, all the while drunkenly singing the Air Force song:
“Off we go, into the wild blue yonder…”
VB
Cowabunga Buffalo Bob!
Shit…had the perfect 'rita in one hand and Purplebear’s strings in the other. Now ya gotta do that zero-G crap again!! Snorkel should come in handy to suck up the blob of floating strawberry margarita now heading toward the forward phaser banks…
Third Officer Bluepony,
Assistant Recreational Officer and Designated Driver
*last seen floating towards the main gunnery deck in search of Margaritaville
*
…send lawyers, guns, and money…
Warren Zevonreviews the summary
Well, you left out the burnt and shaved pussy, the Yeti, the moose schlong, the Terminator, the ambulance, the troll war, and the unHoly water. But good enough. Good enough.
Somebody tequila me… ah, there’s the stuff.
< a knock sounds on the airlock. The drunken astronaught eventually figure out how to open the door. Even better, they don’t let all the air out in doing so. A figure floats in. it is wearing a very burnt, abraded spacesuit, and is holding a Hefty bag. It slowly takes off its helmet to reveal…Sealemon. Go figure. >
He y’all. I’m glad to see you guys. I was getting really tired of floating around out there after the shuttle blew. No, not like that! I mean it exploded, ya freaks!
< opening bag > I saved the bald ferret thingie, but it needs some defrosting. < tosses bald ferret thingie into hot tub >.
Now, where’s the Cuervo?
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
WHEEEEEEEeeeeee!!! screams PB as she grabs onto someone’s foot as she floated by, still holding onto her drink. PB discovers it was VB’s foot, er,… well, maybe not his foot, exactly…
then notices Pony grabbing at the floating strawberry margarita glob with his snorkel, catching it mere inches from the forward phaser banks…
Oh, HI! Sealemon! Glad you could join us…
hey, can somebody please catch me…I can’t stop spinning…
Life is teaching you some painful lessons. But it is from adversity that strength is born. You may have lost the inning, but I know you’ll win the game.
Naked shooters over here at the bar all!!!
How does that go…salt, lemon, tequilla…oh fuck it…tequilla, tequilla, tequilla, lemon.
Life is good!
Shadowfox
“The dead have risen, and they’re voting Republican!” - Bart Simpson
GURRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!
choke thud flop flop
What th’ hell wash that?
The captain steps out of his “ready room” and looks down at the body of a red-shirted officer who just choked to death on a hairless weasel (hee hee)
Oh, it’s jusht a dead shekurity officsher. . . hic
A scantily-clad yeoman takes his arm and drags him back into the ready room
– Sylence
If a bird doesn’t sing, I’ll wait until it sings.
As the ships doctor stands up from examining the security officer:
“Damnit Jim! I’m a doctor, not veterinarian!”
< VB wanders by, a giggling Falcon in tow >
VB
Cowabunga Buffalo Bob!
:::thinking silently to self:::
Hey, this space stuff is cool. It’s very quiet out here.
:::dodges blazing meteorite:::
Whew! That was close!
:::looking forward, Cristi sees something large and white moving slowly and steadily towards her:::
Holy Toledo! The shuttle!
:::waves arms frantically, hoping they notice:::
As the shuttle glides slowly by, Cristi sees many revelers, the moose schlong, and the wombat. She also sees…Seale? Is that Seale?
:::Cristi grabs wing of shuttle, pulls herself towards the window, and starts pounding frantically on the glass:::
“Hey! Open up! I have Cheesy Poofs!”
Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to.