Hang on Cristi!
< Here, hold my beer somebody >
VB jumps back into his flight suit, ‘cause it’s gonna be freakin’ cold in that air lock.
Fwoosh!..Kerchunk!
Opens Cristis’ Helmet…Pshhhhhhh
Didja happen to bring anymore of those deodorant tree thingies?
VB
Cowabunga Buffalo Bob!
Whew! Thanks, VB! Sorry if I smell bad. I’ve been flotsam for a couple of days now. I need a shower and a toothbrush.
Here, I did manage to salvage these from the explosion.
:::holds out a smoking bag of Cheesy Poofs and a video, Debbie Does Outer Space:::
Mind if I go try out your zero-g showers? Those things are positively bitchin’.
Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to.
:::Anchoring himself to main phaser toggle with remnants of Purplebear’s G-string:::
Well, no wonder this space party’s having some problems. Since no one can find the captain, I propose diverting all weapons energy aboard this craft to the main Margarita blenders and Jacuzzi.
(Make it so…)
Come to think of it, who needs this shield shit? Cristi just brought over a copy of Debbie Does Outer Space. Done!! Divert this power to the main DVD Home Theater System. Engage!!!
Gotta get back to the party, love Cheesy Poofs.
Third Officer Bluepony,
Assistant Recreation Officer and Designated Driver
Risking the ship and mission, yet again, for gratuitous sex and violence
…send lawyers, guns, and money…
Warren ZevonSheesh!! What’s a girl have to do in order to get some of those Cheesy Puffs? Can somebody make me a margarita? And where is the damn bathroom? I really need to pee after the 12 beers I’ve had…hic.
Shadowfox
“The dead have risen, and they’re voting Republican!” - Bart Simpson
Why Shadowfox, the bed-er, ladies room is right this way…{grin}
Here, let me get you some of those Cheesy Poofs you wanted {punches up big-ass bag of Cheesy Poofs and big Margarita on Teletransmogrifier}
I’m suprised no one else is using this bad-boy, it works great.
how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking…
VvvV
“Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”
Ready room door opens and the captain walks out in a gold uniform shirt, shiny black shoes and no pants.
Dammit, who diverted the phasher power? I wash watching the playboy channel. You know how hard it ISH to get a shignal out here?
Staggers over to the synthesizer machine.
Tea, Earl Gray. . . fuck it, gimmee some JD.
– Sylence
If a bird doesn’t sing, I’ll wait until it sings.
:::steps from steamy zero-g shower, singing:::
YOU make me feel
YOU make me feel
YOU make me feel like a natural
WOMAAAAAAAN…
Oh boy, am I ever refreshed!
:::sits next to Bluepony, with hair up in one towel, & body wrapped in another:::
Out of all the movies we had on the other shuttle, this is the only one that survived the explosion. Christ. Why? I mean, we had a copy of This Island Earth, a classic in the truest sense. Does that one live? Nooooooooo. Just this piece of…piece of…
Oh my God. How did she get her body into that position? She looks happy, but Christ, that’s gotta hurt.
Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to.
Captain hits the JD a couple times, then staggers over to an intercom.
Shecurity to the bridge pleash. We’re infeshted with lotsha pink fluffy tribbles up here. . . oh, and if you find whoever short sheeted my bed, beam 'em two kilometers off to shtarboard. Without a vac shuit. That ish all.
Staggers back into his ready room.
– Sylence
If a bird doesn’t sing, I’ll wait until it sings.
Alright! Who in the name of Carmen Miranda keeps jigglin’ this damned space-borne Mustang Ranch around? Me and the alien aardvark is conductin’ some very delicate scientific experiments back here in the cargo bay, and we’ll thank ye for a bit of stability.
Hell and damnation people, if we mess up the tequila to GalactiBooze ratio back here all manner of supernaturally evil conflagrations could cut loose.
(Snatches Moose Schlong) Hey, we’ve been looking fer something to put a little extra zing into the mix . . . Ya think there’s really something to that old “eating the heart of yer enemy” adage?
Hell, toss me a couple of them furry little hamster lookin’ things there while I’m here – I hear they’re horny little devils too – might make an interestin’ control group . . .
(Replaces goggles) Now keep it down out here, there’s genius at work.
Dr. Watson
“It reasons, but is not reasoning; it judges, but is not judgment; it imagines, but is not imagination; it feels deeply and fiercely, but it is not passion. It is neither, because it is all.” – Edwin Percy Whipple
< VB skins out of his flightsuit and heads back to the now refilled hot tub humming softly, oh where oh where could my Purplebear be…) >
Right! Cristi is safe aboard (well, aboard anyway!) and I here the suds of both descriptions calling me
VB
Cowabunga Buffalo Bob!
Shadowfox
“The dead have risen, and they’re voting Republican!” - Bart Simpson
:: throws Shadow a life preserver and tries to pull her free::
who wants to play tug o war???
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
(in best disembodied voice) As the crew rushes to rescue the emperiled Shadowfox from the evil toilet, the same thought rushes through their minds.
“Did she wipe yet”?
(/disembodied voice)
The suction got Shadowfox?!
Whoa! Let me try that!
This has commercially entertaining possibilities!
VB
Cowabunga Buffalo Bob!
Once again, hmpf. I feel ignored. And to say I giggle?!?!? You in trouble, hon.
wanders off, looking for Seale…yo Seale! Got any tequila left???
Winner, SDMB’s Biggest Chat Addict
“Only two things that’ll soothe my soul - cold beer and remote control.”
Falcon sweetie, You can never be ignored! Teased and many other things, but never ignored!
I take back giggle, ok? Kissy Kissy makeup? 
Besides, I think Seale is occupied with Cristi at the moment!
(YO, Guys! Get a room!)
BTW, I like your measurements!
VB
Cowabunga Buffalo Bob!
<staggering out from behind a nearby beer keg, Purplebear cracks open one eye and tries to focus on VB>
Here I am!! Over here! I just fell down, and couldn’t seem to get up for a while. Help me back into the tub, wouldja? There’s a dear. Oh, say! What’s that we have here?!?!
Say, flyboy, are you THAT happy to see li’l ole me!!! Hot diggity dog!!!
I lost my drink somewhere, somebody make me another please, and bring a brewsky for VB here, he looks thirsty too.
Why, hello, there Christi, welcome aboard!
And, Pony, really! What if I wanted to wear that again? Oh, well, VB’ll keep me warm, wontcha, babe!?!?
Life is teaching you some painful lessons. But it is from adversity that strength is born. You may have lost the inning, but I know you’ll win the game.
Awww…ain’t he sweet? grabbing a beer and jumping back into the hot tub SO…where we pointing this damn spaceship? Are we still trying to go back in time? shudder
Winner, SDMB’s Biggest Chat Addict
“Only two things that’ll soothe my soul - cold beer and remote control.”
Suddenly alarms go off all over the ship. The captain staggers out of his ready room with a bottle of vodka.
Captain: WILL SOMEBODY TURN THAT DAMN THING DOWN?
Staggers over to the viewscreen, just in time to see hundreds of spaceships zoom onto the screen.
Captain: What the. . . we’re under attack! Raise shields! Ready photon torpedoes! Secure the booze!
Ensign: There’s no power for the shields sir!
Captain: WHAT? Quick, divert power from the cuisinart!
Ensign: Yes sir!
Captain: Fire all photon torpedoes!
Chawoom chawoom chawoom.
Ensign: No effect sir!
Captain: Dammit! Prepare to abandon ship-- hey, what the hell?
Captain picks up a Playstation controller. The system itself is wired into the viewscreen.
Captain: All right, who’s been playing video games on MY screen? Stand down from red alert. Stupid freaking. . .
Captain shuts off the Playstation, revealing a bunch of floating debris on the screen.
Captain: What’s all that crap floating around out there?
Ensign: Uh. . . we seem to have blown the shit out of starbase 3, sir.
Captain: . . .
Both look at the tiny metal pieces that once were part of a multi-billion dollar starbase.
Ensign: . . . Captain?
The captain looks grim for a moment, then thoughtful.
Captain: . . . Oh well, I never liked starbase 3 anyway. To many things with tentacles.
He turns the Playstation back on.
Captain: Want to play Oddworld?
– Sylence
If a bird doesn’t sing, I’ll wait until it sings.
:: Slowly waking up ::
Oh good it was only a dream, Uncle Beer didn’t really kill us all when he blew up the shuttle.
Thank you Surgoshan for having the foresight to build this ship.
Pass the tequila,:: glug, glug, glug :: ahhhh, thats better.
Now where are the men ? There are still lots of buckles I haven’t swashed yet !
" The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference."
Elie Wiesel
Winner SDMB Biggest Flirt (Female) and Least Shy (No Mom, I have no idea why they think that)