MIDGET PORN?! HOW DID YOU GET AHOLD OF THAT? Give me that, I never signed the release forms… come on, come on, the female must have its way, it is almighty…
…Wait, i forgot…I’m not a midget… I just say I am, I’m a total oxymoron!
Wow, nobody on this board at the moment? Fine.
hotwires somebody’s RV that she finds in the front yard
Hey, moderator, do you think maybe we could start a new thread. I think after 500 posts, it should be split off or something.
BTW guys, it wasn’t very nice of you to hit me over the head with a bottle and then steal my beer truck. One minute I’m talking to you, the next minute I wake up and the parking lot is empty, except for a bunch of empties and some dead animal which I have been unable to identify.
Shadowfox
“We are what we pretend to be.”
- Kurt Vonnegut
;;;in a sweet mood;;;
Here Schroedinger… here kitty kitty…c’mon Schroed… is he dead or alive??? What the fuck, pass the tequila!!!
:::takes a brief break from his random firing:::
Anybody hungry? I sure know I am. I brought some…stamps and a couple scratch and sniff stickers…
:::grunts loudly and lights up his cigar::
I think…I should have left a message with the wife…I just don’t know which one to leave it with…
{standing by road, thumb out)
Okay, I had a life. It was feeble, but okay already, you corrupted me already. I tried for the Chicago (“Home of Cece” Vomit Fest) but bombed out.
Real life is basically overrated, and if you can have a drunk chef turning out pork rinds using an acetylene torch in the back of a hijacked ambulance, you probably need a swacked out librarian, right?
I have right here 3 bags of barbeque chips, a vat of dip, the inflatable sheep sent to me by Wally and a few others who will remain unnamed, a very scratchy tape of “1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer”, and a mixed case of Sam Adams, Boone’s Farm, Fennel Schnapps and EverClear.
Oh, and sterno cans to cook any road kill along the way.
So, gonna pick me up, or do I have to shoot out your tires?
Veb
Hop in, Veb.
By the way, you’re driving.
This space for rent.
I’m driving too, Wally. Sue and Christi are driving also, when they’re not passed out. There’s a few others driving, but I’m not sure which ones are real, and which ones are haluceen…haluninot…which one’s aren’t real.
Holy shit. Is that sterno? I’ve always wanted to try that!
BTW Veb: Don’t look at the guy sitting on top of the ambulance. He…doesn’t like it very much. < Looks away, scratching head >
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
What are the odds of a little trip to Michigan>? Anyone with me?
Oh Hell, I’m driving…
::Makes a left at Abuquerque::
Yer pal,
Satan
When from out of the bright Saturday morning sun, an F-14 noses over.
With 20 mm cannon blazing, the makeshift roadblock disintegrates. Sheriffs, state cops and agents from Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms scatter as their vehicles are ripped apart by the fusilade raining down from the mach-1.3 Tomcat.
The ambulance’s makeshift radio crackles…
“Satan you’re all clear through to Michigan. I’ve got your air cover. ChiefScott over.”
WoooHooo! We got an air excort now! This really is a mission from God!
And, WoooHoooo! #550!!!
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Excorting is what I do best.
I gotta free back seat and a carrier w/90+ aircraft fueled, armed and standing by.
Anyone wanna play?
Excorting is what I do best.
I gotta free back seat and a carrier w/90+ aircraft fueled, armed and standing by.
Anyone wanna play?
::rips off a cool Immelman::
“Damn you, keyboard! That’s an “S”, not a freakin’ “X”!”
If you don’t mind vomet that smells like tequila all over your cockpit, then I’m there!
< Sealemon: misspelling with the best of them! >
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
You’re in the back, Seale.
Pick a town, any town, and we’ll take it out.
The difference between boys and men?
The amount of damage their toys can do!
:::salutes ChiefScott:::
That was the coolest thing that I have ever seen. That was cooler than Seale’s jail-breaking fart.
:::salutes again, this time knocking herself unconscious because she forgot to put the tequila bottle down:::
< swiging from the bottle >
Hey, Chief, ya sure got a lotta dials and such back here! I’ll have to play with them as soon as we reach 10,000 feet or so…
Hmmmm…I can’t think of any city in particular I wanna blow up right now.
How about we buzz the White House, then fly over to Memphis to get a head start on the drinking?
< making sure he has Melin’s card…>
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Check under your seat.
Before I launched a threw a gallon of bilge wine down there.
Made from the finest strawberries, grapes and other assorted fermentable fruit scrounged from the mess decks.
It packs quite a punch so be careful you don’t bump that little red switch on the joystick.
You mean this one?
Ooops.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Hey, where’d Des Moines go? It was there just a second ago.
Catrandom