GuyDopers, Let's Play Who Would You Do? (Celebrity Version)

In My Humble Opinion
1

It’s the GuyDopers version of this thread.

Your choices are:

  1. Linda Tripp–Linda will be wearing lingerie from Victoria’s Secret, which will be removed by you using only your mouth, teeth and lips. Linda had a makeover and plastic surgery a few years back, but has since gained back about 25 pounds, all of it in the wrong places. During the act itself, she will continually ask if it’s ok if she tape records the event. Besides that, her talking will not consist of talking dirty, unless you consider repeatedly calling Hillary Clinton a “bitchy whoreslut” and Bill Clinton a “blowjob loving communist” to be dirty talk.
  2. Courtney Love–Courtney seems to go through phases in her life. In some phases she is actually quite pretty, nay she is stunning, but most of the time she is what could politely be termed “a fucking train wreck." You get Courtney at the height of one of her train wreck periods. Her hair hasn’t been washed in at least 10 days and is a mess of tangles and greasy curls, hanging every which way. She has bright red andpink Whore type lipstick smeared across 1/4 of her face, and way too much eye liner which unfortunately has run all over her cheeks, making her look like she’s been slapped around quite a bit lately. Her dress is a mixture of lingerie/trailor trash prom dress, and it is torn in several very revealing places. She is also wearing torn fishnet stockings and 6 inch FMP’s, which will remain on during the act. According to Courtney, "Aunt Flo” is making her monthly visit, but she insists that this makes her unbearably horney and thus, her need for a good hard dicking. She will be chain smoking Marlboros and taking swigs from a bottle of Jack Daniels, which you are not allowed to partake of. During the act, she will be taking Polaroids and while she will be talking dirty, she will be talking dirty and saying someone else’s name. She also requires you to spend a minimum of 30 minutes “down there.”

Very important
Oral will be performed by both parties.

The lights will be on the entire time both before, during and after the act.

Your eyes must remain open the entire time both before, during and after the act.

Both parties will have been tested for the appropriate social diseases/infections etc.

Condoms, lube and various sex toys will be freely available and while not mandatory, condoms are suggested.

So, who would you do?:smiley:

2

I’m not a guy but I’d like to chime in and say whenever I hear the name Linda Tripp, I immediately think of John Goodman in a wig and dress.

Hope that helps!

3

I’d have to go with Courtney Love.

Sure, she’s really skanky, and cigarettes absolutely disgust me, but at least she’s not hideous, like Ms. Tripp.