Why do some men (and especially young adults) think that it’s perfectly ok to yell at woman in the street?
Where on earth did they get the idea that screaming, “Hey baby!”, or “What’s up hot stuff!”, or some other juvenile comment is accepted behaviour?
Maybe a lack of female influence? My mother would have smacked me upside the head would she see me acting in such a way. But she wouldn’t have to. I never felt the urge to act in such a manner. If I want to complement a girl, I will walk up to her and treat her coordially, respectfully. I don’t yell, “Yo baby, yo baby!” at her as she walks by.
I would think most women would find this type of behaviour rude and childish. And yet I do see some women turning aorund and smiling at these types. But why?
Women dopers, how do you feel about men yelling such comments at you on the street?
Do you welcome such a display, or do you feel it’s nothing but a boorish display?
And to men who do this all I have to ask is “why”? And, even if you don’t think it’s rude, whathappens when the boyfriend suddenly emerges form nearby, what would you expect his reaction to be?
I’m sure their moms did the same thing to them, which only taught them not to do that when mom’s in earshot. I figure, they learned it from their dads, who learned it from their dads, all the way back to some undersexed baboon perched in a scrub tree in a savannah somewhere.
I think it has less to do with attracting a woman that showing off to male peers. Rarely have I seen a lone man do such a thing.
Hollering at a female is an overt demonstration of their sexuality. The woman is almost incidental. She is merely the means they use in order to demonstrate that they’re “manly” men, despite their chumminess.
The mating call analogy is faulty in one respect: in this scenario, the women are not expected to respond. It’s closer, I think, to a territorial call, in that they’re displaying their sexual readiness to all and sundry.
I’m about as sexist as they come and yet even I have to frown on this kind of behavior…sometimes. A couple friends came to NYC to visit and one of them spent the entire weekend gawking and hooting at every girl we passed. Man it was annoying. It’s like he never say women before.
It’s a nice safe way of demonstrating manliness. The woman isn’t expected to respond so there’s no risk of rejection (and the ridicule from friends). Half the time, it’s done from a moving car anyway.
Why do some women smile and like it? Everyone likes to be complemented…even if it’s by a jackass.
As for the boyfriend. What’s he going to do? Kick three guys asses?
I say"sometimes" because being loud and obnoxious is valid manly behavior. Being loud makes lesser men say SIZE=1]“eep! Those guys are being too rowdy and it scares me.”[/SIZE] It draws attention to you so girls will notice how manly you are.
No one ever got laid by winning the “silent game”.
And I can’t stand it when guys do this to me when I’m walking alone, especially if they’re in a car driving beside me as I walk, following me.
Why?
Because I’ve been raped before. I don’t care much if some guy says, “Yo hot stuff!” and then leaves me alone, but I’ve had way too many guys follow me to my car/my class/wherever yelling about how sexy I am/my boobs/my ass/whatever, and it really pisses me off.
Which is why those guys rarely get anything beyond an angry stare from me. If they keep up the behavior, I threaten to call the police. Homey don’t play that.
I think it’s to show off to their friends also. Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen any men (or boys I should say) do it when they’re alone. They’ll do the long stare and slow drive by, but they generally leave the yelling like idiots to when they have an attentive audience (and I don’t mean the girl).
Men by themselves are usually much more creative than the typical “yo baby!” scream. I’ve had toll collectors ask me where we’re going and this older pimp daddy (and I mean that literally, purple velvet suit and all) take off his hat and give me a deep bow. Both those men got a genuiune laugh and smile out of me as well as a response.
I’ll admit to smiling at such men (the “yo baby” type) on occasion. Usually when I’m feeling like ass and thinking I look like it too, because it’s nice to know I’m at least not causing them to run screaming to the hills, no matter how immature and stupid they may be acting.
Because if you don’t react, a lot of the time the “Yo sweetcheeks” turns into “Stuck up cunt!” and other a lot more threatening comments. Course sometimes you are fucked either way, if you give a reaction you can get the “Haha, ugly bitch thought we meant it! In your dreams, blahblah…”. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I hate it when people shout comments, or follow after me on the street for the same reason I hate it when a drunk sits beside me on the subway, it’s the unpredictability of the situation, I have no fucking idea what they are going to do or say next.
I was always embarassed to death when my friends did this. I never felt the urge to do it. I have felt the urge to speak to attractive women, but I only wanted to do it in a way that would increase my chances of continued contact with said women, not scare them off.
I just don’t see the point in doing this, except, as other’s pointed out, in some juvenile, pissing contest when other male friends are around.
I think it shows just how insecure you are, that you have to go out of your way to somehow ‘prove’ or ‘show’ how ‘manly’ you are.
If I want a girl’s attention I will speak to her in a civilized manner. I find that girls are more responsive to a friedly, respectful chat, than a low brow comment from a loudmouth.
The behavior is totally unacceptable and shows the lowest class but I diasgree with this:
That is ludicrous. Women smile so they will not get more insults? Gimme a break! Some women smile because they like the idea of being desirable and because they are as low class as the guys doing the cat calls.
Don’t forget the ending! In cases where the female person walks straight past, totally ignoring your hearty cries and requests, not even making eye contact you must mutter (either to yourself or your jolly companions) “Lesbian”.
What, you’ve never had that happen? What planet do you live on? I’ve been called that and worse on multiple occasions for ignoring such bullshit. At the very least, not acknowledging them just makes them louder and more obnoxious in their catcalls.
If you look carefully, you’ll notice that the smiles are often short, wry, tense smiles. It acknowledges them, but in a “yes, I see you, now go away” sort of way. For some bizarre reason, this seems to shut them up.
Bah. It’s just purely funny when some guy who has to be a decade younger than I am hollers, ‘Hey, tender young thang! Can I take you home, little girl?’ And a woman isn’t supposed to laugh at that?
Of course, it is the least probable method of getting the desired response from any female I know. And, as msmith said, none really expect a response. Hell, I’ve been ‘complimented’ while walking with 6’4" Mr. Blue.
Yeah, but I’ve flatly ignored the “heeeey sexy!” calls and it’s turned into “frigid!”, “whoa, look a lesbian!” (which is much more on target, though they intend it as a slur) and “bitch.”
A “hot stuff” comment is one thing, but a carload of guys yelling “Bitch! Gonna rape you!” (yes, I’ve actually heard this) is intimidating and downright scary.
Sometimes smiling and saying thanks guys gets you just a few hoots and they drive off to the next girl. Other times it’s best to play oblivious – it depends on your gut instinct about the guys. Usually you can get a feel for “playful showing off for friends” and “aggressive gorilla pounding on chest.”
On the one hand, you don’t want to encourage them at all. But sometimes your gut says that “the alpha male is gonna get testy” – the loudest mouth among the idiots will start pushing his manliness and he’ll start bellowing all kind of slurs trying to humiliate you publicly. I don’t humiliate easy, but I have had guys start getting right out of the car to intimidate.
In that case, it’s sometimes better to roll your eyes like you’re much put upon, smile and say “thanks guys” in a good natured way. (I avoid doing that lke the plague though.)
Planet Jerry Springer. where some women can be just as low class as some men. Sorry if I do not share your politically correct planet where all the women are ladies in spite of many of the men being rude assholes.