I was walking down the street yesterday to vote in my municipal elections. On two different cases, some guy screamed at me, saying stuff to the effect, “Hey, baby! Nice ass. You are fine!” etc. When I didn’t respond, one of them called me a racist bitch. On this particular occasion, the guy had been driving by in a red mini-van, actually stopped, parked and began to follow me down the sidewalk on foot, still yelling at the top of his lungs about various body parts.
Now, I’m not adverse to a well-phrased compliment, but I gotta say that having a guy follow me down the street screaming at the top of his lungs about my body does not impress me, regardless of who he is or what he looks like. In fact, it scares the hell out of me and makes me wonder a) if he was raised in a damn barn and b) what the hell I’m doing that makes this guy think I’m going to like this behavior (for what it’s worth, I was wearing an old T-shirt, jeans and tevas - not very impressive).
I know a lot of women experience stuff like this, and I still haven’t figured out why. Do women ever respond positively? Do these guys really think they enjoy that kind of attention? Any idea what kind of logic lies behind the yelling bit?
When thinking of this, I was reminded of this thread, but I didn’t want to resurrect it, 'cause it didn’t seem quite the same.
Sounds like your experience today involved a nutter, not a potential suitor.
In a general sense, I suspect many guys who yell out sexual compliments to women are doing so to impress their mates and to assert their sexuality, rather than as an attempt to get sex. That, and for the joy of intimidating a women.
A man more genuinely interested in you would probably stop at an attempt to make eye contact, a wink or a quiet compliment.
Of course it doesn’t work, and it isn’t meant to work. Somewhere deep behind his protruding brow, the part of his psyche that labors behind the scenes has said, “well, we got no chance with this one, big guy. May as well hoot and carry on like a howler monkey, and then call her a lesbian bitch when she doesn’t like it.”
Why not just keep quiet? Well then he doesn’t have a chance to exercise a degree of control over you by forcing a reaction, whether it be anger or embarrassment.
Now… how about you bring your sexy self over her and sit on my lap?
*…It’s the only thing we know for sure, it really is: we want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don’t know 'bout that, we don’t know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we’ve had so far…The car-horn-honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks: [imitates horn]
e-eeehh, eehhh, eehhh, this man is out of ideas. How does it…? [imitates horn again] e-e-e-eeeehhhh, “I don’t think she likes me”…The amazing thing is, that we still get women, don’t we… We’re honking our horns to serve you better.*
The mother of one my my employees- best described as a hippy- used to pass a construction site every day on her way to work (she is a music teacher). One guy would do the catcalls, whistles, etc. every day. One day, she brought him coffee…they were married a month later, and he became my employee’s stepdad.
She used to brag about it…but they are soon to be divorced after 13 years of marriage and one child together.
It’s a more aggressive, more insulting version of those “ships passing in the night” personals ad–“10/23, MacDonald’s on Main, you were in a red corvette as I pulled into the parking lot, we had chemistry, give me a call…”
Yikes almighty. It’s a wonder the race has survived.
I hate this! Everytime I walk down a busy street I get honks (should I run down your car?), whistles, vulgar things in multiple languages, and wonderful gestures. I just flip them off and keep walking.
Or how about in my school quad the other day:
Creepy Guy: “Hey baby, {{if you EVER want to get with me, do NOT call me baby}} How would you like to f*** a hot Italian guy who gives great messages?”
Me: “Sure, where is he?”
:: creepy is confused…then sad…::
Me: “No seriously, does that work on ANYONE?”
When I was in college, I was walking down the street one evening when two girls driving past me honked and made some fun comments. I responded in kind. They drove around the block a few times, continuing with the comments. By and by, I asked them if they would give me a lift,and they said yes. I exchanged phone numbers with one of them, and we went out for several months.
For a girl, it’s an annoying, everyday thing. For a guy, it was my lucky night.
Am I impressed with a guy yelling remarks as I walk past? Not bloody likely. I don’t appreciate being treated as an object on legs. So I just ignore them and keep walking. Luckily none have ever followed me.
As to why they do it…Maybe they’re just trying to show off to their friends.
Honestly, I’ve got to give a shout out to Troy McClure SF who made a similar comment yesterday on Livejournal to someone. Which was why it was in the forefront of my mind.
I hate this. I can be walking my dog, minding my own business, my thoughts wandering everywhere, when suddenly I’m jerked back into the present by the honk of a horn startling me, or a catcall. Some guys drive by, and turn back and stare as they go by. Eyes on the road, buddy!
This would never work with me. You want to have any sort of a relationship with me, you damn well better come talk to me.
Unless the majority of fratboys around here are gay, I am not being hit on when idiots shoot out insulting phrases while driving past at high speed. I suspect that the same men who yell out nonsense at women who they pass also like the anonimity of yelling fighin’ words while moving too fast to be caught.
I used to know a couple of guys with long hair in the 90s who used to get honked at all the time and they swore that they would never do it again because it was so degrading and can really startle you when you’re peacefully walking down the street.
I notice a lot of people have some horrible thing on their car that makes it honk for no reason when they lock the doors with a remote control or some other nonsense and so a lot of times I hear a honk nearby and I jump and think “fucking idioit!” thinking it’s some jerk honking and then I see a little mom just diddled with her minivan and, honestly, it doesn’t make me any less mad.
But I agree guys don’t do that because they want to go out with you they do it because they’re jerks who like to make loud noises and see people jump. They know how stupid they’re being.
