I don’t think I’d be able to get it up for a prostitute. Too freaking weird. And, the last time I had sex, the World Trade Towers were still standing, so I’m no stranger to desperation.
Since I haven’t yet, and I’m not likely to get more desperate, I’d have to say it’s not gonna happen.
When I had the money, visiting a prostitute would have been very much a Career Limiting Move. Now I don’t have the money.
I used a prostitute when I went to Nevada, and would again if the UK were to defuse the legal minefield surrounding it. It is just a job, I don’t care what they think of me, although I doubt they hate their clients significantly more than any other customer service provider does.
Being completely inept and unable to develop romantic relationships with women (friendships are fine), it doesn’t leave a guy with a lot of options.
I was really desperate at 25 to lose my virginity so I engaged the services of a Lady of Easy Virtue from a quality legal brothel with well-treated staff in Amsterdam.
I’m sure first times are pretty much always awkward, but physically it was like nothing I had ever known. It was worth the money and then some.
I also had a few more experiences, a couple were bland, most good and 1 spectacular. Being a 25 year old virgin meant I had no illusions about the women being attracted to me, so that wasn’t an issue. I wasn’t taking advantage of them, they weren’t taking advantage of me, we both knew why we were there. Having said that, one of the women made me forget I was paying, she was a great actress.
After getting over the virgin stigma and wanting to avoid bankrupting myself, I stopped going. I haven’t been to a pro in a very long time, and at this stage in my life I don’t want sex unless it’s with a girlfriend. I miss sex terribly and I envy everyone else, but this is the way things are. Shrug.
The last prostitute I spent time with was a registered nurse. Her last job had been working on a movie set. Mostly we laid around drinking Bourbon and cokes (she smoked, but I didn’t), talking about movies while alternately giving massages to each other. That was as sexy as it got. Maybe she was a massage therapist or just a therapist.
Anyhow if I am going to pay someone to listen to me moaning about my life, they will be female and naked. Those that prefer psychologists or psychiatrists are welcome to it.
I’ve used a prostitute a few times but mainly as a treat to get a particularly hot guy without any effort. That said I have tended to leave each time thinking “that wasn’t quite as good as I hoped it would be” so it’s not something I’m motivated to do much again. My self image isn’t in any way affected by paying as I’ve had my fair share of partners and have had sex with guys who have done porn and been escorts too (for free, I mean), so I’m clearly not desperate.
Whilst I agree that I want someone to be into me for who I am and all that, there are some guys I’ve hooked up with casually who I’m pretty sure I was an acceptable looking and compliant orrifice, so I’m not sure how different that is from the lack of any real feeling when you see a prostitute.
Then of course there is the fact that I’ve actually been a prostitute as well, so I know full well what goes through one’s mind when one is turning a trick. I think if anything that makes me more pragmatic the times when I’ve used a prostitute myself, I don’t waste any time thinking “I wonder if he likes me” or “I should try and please him as part of this”, I just do whatever I want to suit me.
I’ve actually been thinking of doing it in Amsterdam just to cross it off my “stuff to do before I die” list. :o
So if I may ask what does go through ones mind when turning a trick?
Well, it’s work, just like any other job you’re being paid for is work. It’s not particularly unpleasant, but it’s not fun, you’d prefer to be doing something else but you’re thinking about the money. When you’re having sex for fun your mind is generally fixated on the act of having sex, when you’re doing it for pay you could be thinking about about anything, your mind doesn’t really need to be there (I once caught myself building my shopping list for when I went food shopping the next day).
I wasn’t really desperate at all. I was 16 and a couple of guys I worked with that summer decided to drive around Atlantic City in the middle of the night after scoring some weed from a friend of theirs. Sounds like a great way to spend an evening, right?
We sort of joked about “hey, we should pick up a hooker! Yeah, man!!”, then saw a young professional lass walking down the street. We settled on a price and she hopped in the back. First she blew my buddy in the backseat while my other friend drove and I sat in the front, then we rotated- me behind the wheel, driver moved to the back to get blown, and happy guy in the front passenger seat, then we rotated again. At the time I wasn’t a big fan of the blowjob, so she and I got down to business. The distractions of my buddies in the front seat while driving down the main drag in Atlantic City, stopping at lights and what not, while trying to fit us both sort of laying down on the backseat, was enough to keep me from completion. I eventually gave up and we paid her and dropped her off in an alley someplace. It was the early '80’s, right when AIDS was starting to make itself known. I guess I lucked out though, as the intervening 30+ years and several subsequent AIDS tests have confirmed.
We did it for a goof. I’ve never given any serious thought to doing anything like that, or patronizing any kind of call girl, escort or legal prostitute, ever since.
I idly considered it in my youth now and then, but given the risk of STDs, being robbed, or arrested in a police sting, never followed through on it. I have even less interest in it now, which is to say, none at all.
At least 30 years ago, I was going through a dry spell and some self-esteem issues, so I connected with a “male escort.” He was a very good looking German guy, about in his late-20s. Long story short . . . he got off, I didn’t.
So did he pay you?
I am about as desperate as one can be but would never under any circumstance go to a prostitute. In fact to me the very idea of a prostitute is about as far away from my idea of sex as it can possibly be. She has had 100 guys before you and will have 100 after, you are just a business transaction with someone who will experience no pleasure or emotion. I know it is not PC for guys to admit they need love or a deep emotional connection however I am one.
How romantic.
In my early 20s, I had a 3-year stretch without so much as a passionate kiss. Given that I didn’t seek out a prostitute then, I can’t imagine doing so under any possible future circumstances.
I have never visited a prostitute - I don’t think I ever will, but I don’t have a problem with prostitution. People pay me to use my brain, why shouldn’t a person be allowed to use his/her body to earn a living? I’m not sure what the right situation would be, but if I won’t rule out the possibility.
On the contrary, I think it’s very PC for men to admit that they have an emotional attachment to sex, as opposed to pretending that they don’t have any at all.
Well, how likely would a guy admit that in non mixed company?
Ask me after I come back from this bachelor party in Vegas I’m going to next month.
I find it interesting that a lot of the same people who say they would never use one also admit to extended “dry spells”.
I also find it interesting that a lot of men associate frequenting a prostitute with “desperation”. In my um…friends experience, a lot of guys who frequent them aren’t the sort of guys who can’t get laid. Look at some of the more famous cases like Elliot Spitzer or Hugh Grant back in the day. These guys aren’t exactly pathetic losers. Actor Collin Farrel was once quoted that he viewed calling a prostitute “like ordering a pizza”.
I don’t have any moral objection to it, but I would obviously be concerned with the risks. Although given the popularity of the profession, I imagine most of them are overblown (no pun intended). Unless maybe you are cruising for crack-whores under the highway overpass or something.
Actually, there is a sort of legitimacy about it IMHO. As they say, you aren’t paying for sex, you are paying for her to leave. There’s no lying to some girl in a bar that you’re going to call her or drama when she won’t leave the next day.
All this is academic anyway since I’m in a relationship.
Also, if I hear about a single guy or group of guys going on vacation to places like Brazil, Argentina, Thailand, Poland or Amsterdam, I generally assume they are probably going to hit up some prostitutes.