Guys: how many women do you know who could kick your ass in hand-to-hand combat?

I started to write “in a fair fight,” but in fact that term is meaningless. As a certain Boston gumshoe said of his boxing bout with an over-the-hill champion, “My fight with Joe Walcott wasn’t fair. He was much better. He had to carry me a few rounds so the crowd wouldn’t feel cheated. To make that fight fair I should have had a baseball bat.”

Anyway … let’s assume that you cannot avoid the fight: i.e., she is motivated enough so that she is certainly going to throw hands no matter what you do, and you cannot retreat without getting past her. Further assume neither of you have access to dedicated or easily-improvised weapons, and both of you are in fine fettle at the beginning of the encounter.

Men: how many women do you know personally whom you think would likely kick your ass under these circumstances?

Poll in a second. And, yes, I’m making this one public.

None that I know personally.

Answering my own question, I thought of two.

One is a tall, very ripped girl in her mid twenties who has sometimes modeled for my stepdaughter. She’s pretty much pure muscle and has a couple of black belts. Shan’t ever annoy her.

The other is a ex-Army helo pilot I dated once upon a time. I haven’t seen her in years, but back in the day, I saw how well she could take care of herself. She fought dirty. :wink:

I’m not saying there’s no others, by the way. If my baby sister isn’t capable of inflicting serious harm on anyone who assaults her, I should be very disappointed. She’s much smaller than me, though.

I didn’t used to think there was a huge difference between the strength generated by similarly-sized people of different genders. But I’ve had a woman not all that much smaller than myself seriously attack me before and I was surprised by how much stronger than her I was and how little I felt threatened. Unless a woman is quite a bit larger than I am (I’m 6’1 and weigh about 220lbs) I’m just going to assume that I’d win in a fight against her (unless she’s got a knife or something).

I don’t know any women who seriously work out, know martial arts, etc, if that matters.


There is a girl who I’ve hung out with once or twice who is ranked in the world in MMA. She might be able to take me but it wouldn’t be pretty for her considering I’m 200 lbs and almost a foot and a half taller then her. I also knew a girl in college who was training for the Olympics in wrestling.

Neither are friends so they may not count and even if they did I’m not sure they could take me.

I didn’t specify that they had to be friends. Women you see only at the gym, dojo, or bar count.

Well, you all know me…


I’m 63. At this point in my life, I suspect that there are plenty of women who would have no trouble defeating me in a fight. There are a number of them going to the gym I go to, for instance.

I’m unathletic, I don’t work out, and I’ve never really learned to fight. (The last punch I threw in anger was in middle school. The fellow I hit seemed more confused than anything.) Nor am I particularly tall or large.

Any reasonably in-shape woman not significantly smaller than I am could probably kick my ass. Unless she just doesn’t have the mass to keep from being shoved aside by my random, panicked flailing, all she has to do is want my ass kicked badly enough to absorb the relatively few punches I’d be able to land.

:: makes note ::

That can’t be good. When will I learn to think before I type?

Most of my wife’s softball team, even without the bats.

I have a couple of female friends who I know could put up a terrible fight but I outweigh them substantually. It would be Pyrric victory for me. At the hospital I could say, “you should see the guy, err, I mean girl.”

This assumes we have both lost our minds for some reason.

I can’t answer the question. No doubt I’m not nearly in as good shape as I need to be, and I know some women that work out pretty seriously.

If we’re talking about just close friends, then probably not even one. But if we’re talking about every woman I know, even very casually, then I’m sure that there are a few that I’m not remembering now.

Hell if I know. It’s not like this is the first time that’s happened. Anyway, if you’ll just do what you are instructed by the agents in question when the time comes, it will go easier for you.

I don’t see any need to specify the agents or the time. You’ll be able to figure it out your own dame self.

From a woman’s perspective, size isn’t always an issue. When I was younger I took down men much larger than myself (former LEO), skill, training, speed, and the ability to take a hit seemed to play into the equation much more than the size/weight of the fella.

Exactly. I could probably take down any untrained woman, but I’d be an easy mark for pretty much anyone who knows what they’re doing. So as far as I know, none of the women I know would be a problem, but that certainly doesn’t mean there aren’t any.

It’s interesting, as a middle aged women I’m no longer quick or as strong, but the old training reflexes are still there. I may not be able to “win” anymore, but believe I would very much surprise an attacker.

I don’t think I, at least, implied otherwise. I mentioned two women whom I was certain could take me unless I armed myself first; the young model is about my size, but the other was smaller, just well-trained and full of piss and vinegar.

Mostly, though, I was interested in how many guys would admit to knowing such women.

None. Even the women I know who are noted as being strong are substantially weaker than I am. Training could conceivably make up for that to some degree, but I have had training of my own. I’ve never struck a woman in my life, or laid a hand on one in anger in any way, but if she is determined to have this fight and there is no way for me to avoid it, I’m not holding back. That will, I think, prevent things from being drawn out more than necessary. I’m not taking a beating just because she is a woman and I’m not giving her any little baby smacks just trying to discourage her.