My son is finishing up his 30-day jail sentence, and we visited him yesterday. A lot of new prisoners have been brought in, and he now has a roommate, an older married guy my son says is “weird”. Being a concerned mom, I asked him how this guy is weird, and he said, “Because he sits down to pee, every time, and he wipes.”
Being a girl, this doesn’t seem weird to me. I said, “That’s not weird, your dad used to do that when he had to sit for a while. Maybe the guy is just modest, there in a cell with you.”
“No, Mom, he sits down every time he pees, even if he’s not taking a dump. He’s weird.”
My daughter laughed and said “You have to sit down to pee if you’ve got a hard-on,” and my son gave her a dirty look and said that wasn’t it. And since the guy wipes instead of shakes, he is doubly weird. So we spent a few lively minutes discussing what combination of mothering or wifely nagging has brought this poor man to this state. My son says he’s older (which means over 35) but not elderly.
So guys, is it really weird to always sit instead of stand? (I still think it’s a modesty thing in jail.) And how about the wiping?
It wouldn’t help. In most cases it’d put your penis in close range of the bowl itself, or worse still, in the water. If he’s a middle-manager sorta guy in for skimming company money or drug possession charges, it could easily be modesty as you suggested.
Yeah, that’s wierd. And sitting to pee with a hard-on doesn’t make any sense. I’m not hugely endowed or anything, but if I sit on a toilet with a stiffy, I can’t fit the damn thing into the bowl. Wiping afterwards is pretty unusual, too.
However, this puts me in mind of something else I’ve seen. There was an episode of The Chapelle Show, that was a spoof on The Real World, except that instead of having a bunch of completely insane white people with one token normal black guy, it was a bunch of completely insane black people with one token normal white guy. The white guy ended up having to room with an ex-con, who told him in no uncertain terms that he was to sit down when he peed from now on. I interpreted this as the con making the white guy his “bitch.” Maybe it’s a common prison thing, though. Like, “Don’t drop the soap.”
At the risk of making a broad generalization, I think all women want to stand up to pee. Guys, you have it so easy! You can pee in the woods without it running down your leg! You don’t have to check the seat for dribbles, or to see if it’s up or down! You’ve got it so easy, and some of you don’t even appreciate it. If I could pee standing up (preferably without tools), I’d do it every chance I got.
I don’ t know why a guy would ever sit down to pee. You’re living the sweet life, boys! Make the most of it!
You can, but you have to lower your pants a lot farther than we do, and pull some of the folding parts out of the way with a couple of fingers.
There’s a hip-angle thing you’ll need to learn, too. I don’t think it’s difficult to do (looks to me like it’s mostly rolling the hips forward) but you might want to practice in the bathtub until you’re confident of your aim.
There’s an alternative posture, crouching and shooting backwards, but it looks more awkward.
Yes…it’s freakin wierd as hell.
I would think the last thing you would want to do in jail is exhibit mannerisms that make you appear femenine to the other inmates.
Urologists will often tell men to sit while peeing if they’ve had kidney, bladder and/or prostate trouble, and more so if they’re older. Could that have been the case?
I (almost) always sit to pee, and frequently even wipe (after shaking) because you can never get that last drop to shake off. If the weirdest thing a cellmate does is pee sitting down, I should think one would be relieved. Think how much worse it could be…
I knew you had your head screwed on straight, Miller, from the drug testing thread a while back. A Dave Chappelle fan? Now I’m sure! Gotta be the funniest guy I’ve seen in years (or at least his writers are…) . They skewer those subjects that seem these days to be untouchable, thanks to the PC thugs. But that’s another thread… Regarding the sitting, inmates view it as a “bitch”- like behavior (I asked a friend who did some minor time) but the wiping would seem to indicate some type of incontinence. Leakage and all that. Either way, it ain’t gonna make the time any easier, that’s for sure. Good luck to him, I says.
[Seen on a bathroom wall] No matter how much you shake,
and how much you dance,
the last drop always falls in your pants! :smack:
My brother is in the jewelry business, and one of his clients owns a chain of body piercing shops. This fellow is a showcase for his (actually, my brother’s) wares. According to him, a common result of penile adornment with fixed jewelry is the need to forego one of masculinity’s premier privileges, that being the ability to pee standing up, without attendant messiness.
My hub sits down when he’s at home. He started soon after we got married. I never asked him to, he just decided he likes it better that way. I’m happy never getting the ‘seat left up’ surprise. :eek:
Well, as a guy, if I think there’s a chance I might have to make a #2, I’ll sit down to pee just in case, because its easier to just go while I’m in a sitting position than to do a friggin half-axle-mid-pee if my bowels decide to void quickly.
I’ll also pee sitting down if I’m a guest at someone’s house. I always clean up after myself when I pee standing up, but if I’m using someone else’s bathroom, there’s always the possibility that I might miss a few errant drops somewhere and the host notice, which would be rather embarassing.
Im pretty adamant about asserting my right to pee standing upright, but I’ll also pee sitting down when its the prudent thing to do (drunkeness, sleepiness, etc).
Plus, if you pee sitting down, its easier to have a direct conversation with someone else who is in the bathroom since you can face them while talking. Okay, maybe that’s a little TMI…:eek:
I always sit at night and in the morning. For the former, I don’t like to aim in the dark; for the latter I’m just too tired to bother standing up. I occasionally get that last drop with TP, but wipe? I can’t imagine.
. They skewer those subjects that seem these days to be untouchable, thanks to the PC thugs. But that’s another thread… Regarding the sitting, inmates view it as a “bitch”- like behavior (I asked a friend who did some minor time) but the wiping would seem to indicate some type of incontinence. Leakage and all that. Either way, it ain’t gonna make the time any easier, that’s for sure. Good luck to him, I says.
