An aside on the toilet seat thing…yeah, guys can wander in half asleep, no lights, aim in the general direction and stumble back to bed. All on autopilot, hardly even disturbs their REM cycle.
But said males are rarely the ones who get the joyous task of mopping up the misses.
Women who stumble in the john half asleep have to sit down, guys. Stay with the concept here; we sit and are jolted wide awake by falling onto an icy porcelain rim, our teeth snapping together and then a truly unpleasant descent into cold toilet water.
Compare and contrast: men dribble at will, go back to sleep and don’t have to de-dribble. Women get a spine-jarring crunch and an unexpected “sitzbath” in the toilet.
The defense rests.
As far as the razor thing goes, borrowing is out. (Though I hooted and honked my way through BluePony’s priceless inventory of shower products. The only thing he missed was the pastel shower-poof that looks like a mutated jellyfish.)
Anyway, using a man’s razor and tossing wet towels around is simply wrong. Let me tell you, female roommates wouldn’t put up with that for a second.
Put you foot down, guys, and put the seat down while you’re at it.
So, what, women just take a flying leap ass-first toward the toilet, not even feeling for whether the seat is up or down?
I have never, NEVER, fallen ass-first into a toilet with the seat up. Why? Because I check. I would think that, if I always sat when using the toilet, I’d get into the habit of checking, beginning in childhood.
This is kinda funny because just the other day hubby got a little pissy with me because he thought I had used his razor to shave my leg…yeah right ,I like my special girly stuff, you know the stong enough for a man but made for a women type stuff that smells like flowers and has lots and lots of bubbles.
Anyways it turned out that HIS razor was exactly where he left it… in the garbage!!!
Well, talk about suck up when he realized what he had done!
As far as the toilet seat goes he always put the seat down for me, so he’s got that going for him!!
Now if I could only teach Kelli’s boys to do the same thing when they are over here…
I concur that it would be nice of a guy to leave the seat down for the lady. I object, however, to the idea that if he doesn’t do so, he’s a bad, evil person.
Besides, if the seat is up, he won’t piss on it. So if she would learn to check before she goes, then both parties could safely piss in the dark and no one’s ass gets wet.
Uh, Max and DrJ, I wouldn’t for the world doubt your word but can’t help but wonder at your recollection.
I agree that people, especially sleepy people, operate on autopilot. But every time you roam john-ward, more asleep than awake, you automatically check the placement of the toilet seat? Isn’t it just possible that your biological imperative may have found unconscious habits that linked “need to go” with “sit” or “stand”?
Even if you do check seat-status each time, every time, stern expections of “you should too” counts for diddly when the love of your life just doesn’t have the same ingrained habit.
For whatever it’s worth (ahem! not much) absently leaving the seat up is much more forgiveable in terms of habit than consciously using someone else’s razor. So if even poor “Hamburger Face” BluePony doesn’t assign evil to Mrs. Bluepony, then this whole thing is more domestic irritation than tragedy.
I remember reading a comic book — written by Mike Barr, I think — that followed this plot. I don’t remember the name though. (that’s right folks, I don’t remember the name of the story, YET I know who writes it.)
I always check the seat cover whenever I’m stumbling around in the dark bathroom. It not only could be up, the lid could be down. How did I ingrain this habit? Because I don’t feel like standing and spraying in the middle of the night. How long did it take me to learn? I’ve always done it, since kid-dom.
If you say that women can’t learn to do that, you’re saying that they’re just dumber than a three year old. Not likely, eh?
