Or
d) Look like a Santa Claus-in-training. He does have a rather manly gut working, although he’s not what I’d call obese either.
I understand that this is your personal experience, so I hope you aren’t bothered if I share mine - I’ve had a rotten crush for years on a server at my favorite ‘pub’ who has significant facial and neck burn scarring (maybe more but I haven’t asked him to disrobe); he’s also got a great smile and booming laugh, is tall and has a nice physique and tons of confidence. He watches the same soap I do and so we chat about that, but while he’s talking I’m just getting butterflies. He turns me on like crazy. But my perfect-skinned boyfriend w/ the gap in his front teeth I just couldn’t get excited about after too long. (Sadly, the server has a girlfriend who caught me checking him out once at a function away from the pub and I got a right mean glare.)
I do like guys to look clean, and stay looking clean throughout the time I spend w/ them. I don’t want to see them chew w/ their mouths open or have noses that need blowing, no matter if they look like Brad Pitt. Those are turn-offs that never turn back on.
Are we talking to you?? If we are, and our arms aren’t wrapped tightly around ourselves as though to protect us from you or we’re not casting glances everywhere but at you, you’ve got a very good shot. But only if we know you’re interested in us. I’m a pretty savvy person but if I’m interested in someone my powers of perception go flying out the window and I’m oblivious. Availability doesn’t need to be determined until you actually go to ask us out. Chat up is never wasted on someone who’s interested in you, regardless of their dating status.
I don’t know about that, many women I ‘hit on’ seem to enjoy it but only a small percentage (10-20%) agree to go out with me.
I guess finding a guy attractive and/or being flattered by him and being willing to date him are two totally different things for women.
If you women want to know what turns a man (or at least me) on here is a hint
Buy a 61" HDTV & some kind of gaming system, a good PC or a playstation. That always comes in handy in the seduction department.
Well, here i am again! One more thing…on the first, or perhaps second, date, you know, when you’re standing in the kitchen with her, cooking dinner, or at least helping ("I have absolutely no idea what you’re doing but it sure smells good and I pour a mean glass of wine), or least making drinks or keeping her company, when you kiss, you know that first kiss, and she lifts her arms up around your neck which pretty much signals, well you know, and you run your hands up along the sides of her on the way to…well, you know…better make it a certain move, don’t be hesitant…just do it…and the callouses and little work hand stuff, rubs against you…well, anyway, Kytheria, you just gotta know what I’m talking about…that’s my contribution to this thread…did I ever tell you next to “eh” we’ve got “well, you know” pretty much captured!
A) - Don’t ask them out after chatting & finding a good ‘vibe’; ask for their phone # and leave it at that. That tells them you’re not planning anything more suffocating than a phone call. That way you can both find out if you actually want to date; be patient, it’s a turn on!
B) Oh hell no - I’ll keep my little 21’ tv so I know at some point they’ll go home and I can have some peace!! I will settle for answering the door in a robe holding a Molson but I won’t cater to the 13 year old boy living inside any 30 year old man. You don’t see men buying dolls or the disembodied Barbie make-up head for their girlfriends, do you? (If you do, don’t stare…)
I can’t believe women aren’t following you around like cats after a truckload of catnip!
The thing I’ve found to be true is that demeanor and attitude account for a fairly substantial portion of a person’s attractiveness. It’s a lot easier for people who are blessed with objectively aesthetically pleasing physical forms to exude an attitude and demeanor that’s pleasant to be around.
However, I’ve known any number of people who are not quite so blessed but who either LIKE the way they look or who are just more comfortable with themselves and who they are, who were attractive in their own right. I’m marrying one such fella come September. There’s a lot more to being attractive than having six-pack abs or symmetrical features or the hottest blue eyes ever.
Whatever quirk any given girl will find just floats her boat will vary from girl to girl. But (speaking as a girl) what you look for in a guy to giggle with your girlfriends about and drool over and contemplate having a firey fling with is NOT THE SAME as what you look for in a guy you’re planning to keep for any length of time. If you’re looking to build a relationship with a guy, your brighter girls aren’t looking at his ass and contemplating a future together - they’re looking at how he treats his mother - or how he is with babies - or if he’s kind to the random strangers whose path he crosses.
And in defense of girls like me everywhere, if you’re complaining she’s just blowing you off, be certain your pass was visible. Speaking for the marginally-oblivious, there have been innumerable times in my life when someone pointed out to me LATER that a guy was clearly hitting on me. I didn’t blow him off - I MISSED IT ENTIRELY. I’m sure he thought he was being clear - and probably though I blew him off, but actually I just missed it totally. Be clear in your intentions gentlemen! I mean really, how big a difference in potential-embarassment level is there between hinting around a date and saying “Hey! I think you’re hot! Let’s go out for dinner sometime.” If nothing else, you can know for SURE you’re actually being declined (for whatever reason) as opposed to just not being clear enough. Plus the compliment to her attractiveness will earn you points - which is good if the reason for declining is that she’s otherwise engaged at the moment.
Hey and while I’m ranting about the subject anyway please for the love of Og don’t do the “Because you turned me down I will never speak to you again” thang. Quite often girls decline dates for reasons that gasp have not a damn thing to do with the man asking, his physical attractiveness level, or how lovely a soul you think he has. Sometimes we’re seeing someone else - sometimes we’re just at the beginning of a new relationship (when it’s new and we’re afraid to poke at it or mention it for fear of bruising it) - sometimes we don’t want to date anyone at all at the moment for a staggering variety of reasons that do not involve you in the slightest (like we’re planning to go study abroad for a semester and are leaving TOMORROW - don’t laugh - I once had a gentleman decide my rebuffing an invitation (politely) was because I didn’t think he was hot when it was REALLY because I had a 7am flight to Central America for a study abroad course) - sometimes we’re just in a pissy mood and snippy with everyone - sometimes our male family and friends have aggravated us to the point where the mere thought of spending any time in the company of anyone with a penis is mindnumbingly horrifying (all girls get this feeling sometimes - it passes, but if you have particularly bad timing you can get a cold shoulder aimed at some guy you’ve never met).
And in a related note: Don’t let a friendship relationship develop unchallenged for months and months and THEN all of a sudden clue us in to the fact that you always lusted after us and wanted a romantic relationship. This always made me feel betrayed and lied to (and my girlfriends as well). If you’d be interested in a romantic relationship from the start, be up front about it for Pete’s sake. Part of the reason girls don’t take it well when a guy they’re friends with informs them out of the blue they want to have a romance instead of a friendship is that we tend to think that they were just using the friendship to get close to us all the better to weasel into our pants. I’m not saying there’s any truth to this standpoint - but it’s what we think. It makes me (at least) think the friendship was a ruse - a lie; so now how can I trust you? TELL US THINGS. If we don’t see any possibility of a romance, isn’t it better to be upfront, hear the truth and then possibly earn an untainted friendship (which might lead us to introduce you to our friends), than to build yourself up for months saying “Well maybe it’s possible” and then spring it on us and get yelled at in our sense of betrayal? If nothing else, we’ll be MUCH gentler about it if we’re not being hurt and betrayed that a friend only pretended to be our friend (in our view of that moment).
/rant-digression off
Holy cow. That must have been weighing on me a bit 
Sorry! 