That’s why God made autoflushing toilets.
OK, now explain how you fail to wipe off said piss.
Sometimes I’m reluctant to lift the seat in a public restroom just because I don’t want to touch it with my hands. So I aim as best I can, but sometimes Big Wally won’t cooperate. So I take toilet paper and wipe it up.
So all the piss on female toilet seats is from pregnant ladies with non-standard urethras, bladder incontinence, all of whom have seeing difficulties? Damn, why didn’t everyone else think of that?
My thought is, someone did that on the first night before class in our dorm one year. He did it too hard, broke off the flush handle, and flooded the entire floor. Water ran all the way down to the first floor (I lived on the sixth). So, I don’t approve.
Once, I went swimming in a public pool.
I needed to pee, so I got out and went to the bathroom. There were only two stalls, so I waited. The faint smell of poo was in the air.
Eventually, a completely naked and soaked older lady (probably in her 60’s) strode out of one of the stalls. As I walked in, I noticed these three things, in this order:
- The smell… whew! Darn near knocked me over.
- The seat is all wet, I guess she had just gotten out of the shower and couldn’t have been bothered to wipe the seat.
- Oh, what’s that? A very squishy-looking (and squished) nugget of poo surrounded by what can only be described as poo water… on the back of the seat. Awesome.
I held it until I left and used another bathroom. That old lady sucked. I hope she never uses another public toilet again, ever.
I also have no idea how I managed to notice the seat was wet before I noticed the poo nugget!
Of course. I expect to get some of my own junk on my hands. But wiping somebody else’s urine off the seat is still disgusting, even if you mean to wash your hands right afterwards.
I don’t know if this beats that, but someone was certainly beating it: I once walked into the bathroom at a Barnes & Noble in NYC and the seat was covered with semen. Well, I really had to go, and going back down 4 flights of escalators and trying to find a public toilet in an unfamiliar neighborhood didn’t seem like an option, so I steeled myself to the task at hand and cleaned it up with a sequoia’s worth of toilet paper. And – sorry – I hovered. Neatly.
Some time later I read in a Dan Savage column that this is a fetish. He reported getting a letter from someone who liked to jerk off on a airplane and stuff the used tissues into the seat pocket so that a stranger would presumably touch them on the next flight. I’m usually tolerant, but these people need to be sent to Devil’s Island.
Dammit, I’m stuck back in a restricted area with no restrooms and the breakfast juice is just getting done being processed. Why did I open up this thread? 
Next someone will use :eek: the sinks!
While we’re on the topic of urine in udesired places, until you’ve done a cycle of Uristat, you have no idea how much you piss on yourself, the seat, and the floor. You may think you are a perfect pisser but Uristat will divest you of that misconception. It makes one’s urine a bright orange color and gives it the ability permanently stain some materials…like the cotton frequently used in undergarments.
You know, you’re right, there are medical conditions that might cause someone to get some urine on the seat. But there are precious few medical conditions preventing them from cleaning it off afterwards.
Also, I doubt there are enough people out there with these conditions to sufficiently explain the profusion of wet toilet seats.
I know. It’s more of a “somewhere, in America, there is a legitimately sprinkled seat. (Once, in the 1960’s, for 20 minutes.)”
I think some people just think only fresh-picked flowers fall from their bottoms. Who could possibly object to flowers? Why bother cleaning them up?
If that was the tone you intended for your post you might have omitted the
which makes it sound like that’s how it almost always happens, and that pitting the fact that it does happen is attacking only the weak, pregnant and blind.
I work in a large office. Once there was a “serial smearer” that attacked the washroom about once a week. Each time leaving a different, humourous message on the wall. The few that I remember are: “Oops I did it again!”, “Ha Ha Ha You’ll Never Catch Me!”, and “Poop Art”.
This happened in the women’s washroom, so I never got the priviledge to see the art first hand. Needless to say it made for a good 90% of the gossip at work, and secret accusations. Management understandably made a huge deal out of it.
It made for some of the funniest jokes I’ve ever heard, though.
As they say, one persons coprography is another persons comedy treasure. 
. . .
Doesn’t everybody?
Why is there urine on the toilet seats [in the men’s room] in the first place? Why aren’t men using the urinals?
Don’t men who plan on doing more than just a quick whizz use the toilet for whizzing? I always assumed they did…
Sometimes there are no urinals, only bowl-toilets (especially in one-person facilities, such as you’ll usually find in a gas station); and sometimes the urinal is occupied when you need it.
Thank God that men don’t menstrate. The piss, poop, semen and boogers are bad enough but if we menstrated too some jackass would undoubtably leave the stall looking like a suicide bomber had blown himself up in there. Gah, my gender can be real freakin’ pigs.
Is pubic hair on the sink worse than pee on the seat?