Ha! Ha! Hank Johnson thinks Guam could capsize

OK, at first I thought it was an April Fools’ joke.

Because, seriously, who would believe that adding 8,000 people to Guam’s population might cause the island to “tip over and capsize.”

But watch the video. As best I can tell, he isn’t joking, no is he speaking metaphorically.

And the testimony was last week, lending further distance to the April Fool theory.

So now I think, pending of course any new evidence, that Johnson is an idiot.

Wow. He does seem serious – holy crap.

But it’s an island. That means it’s just floating out there like a boat, right?

He didn’t appear to be a genius based on his prior record, either.

On Joe Wilson’s “You lie!” idiocy:

Everyone knows it would take at least 20,000 people to capsize Guam, anyway.

And even then, only after you steer it into an iceberg.

Let’s give credit where credit is due. Being the butt of jokes because of matters of simple reasoning is still a HUGE improvement on his predecessor, Ms McKinney.

That would only happen if everyone ran to one side of the island at once.

My favorite line in the whole thing is Admiral Willard’s, after Johnson states his fear:

“We don’t anticipate that.”

OMG.

Are they hearing about this back in GA?

Hey, I’m a dyed-in-blue lib, but I’ll acknowledge total cluelessness when I see it.

If 20,000 people moved to the western edge of Las Palmas in The Canaries, and began to jump up and down, they could cause a landslide that would flood a large stretch of the eastern seaboard of the USA.

Just saying, like.

Man, this could be bad. It would be like Atlantis, except with spicey tobassco spam.

Now I’m wondering what percentage of other Americans think islands can capsize.

I don’t see what the big issue is. I’m sure that they could come up with enough life jackets for everybody.

Bullshit.

It might capsize China, though.

With all this computing power, we should be able to compute the exact sequence needed to allow 100 million Americans to jump up and down in order to cause an Earthquake anywhere in the world. Of course, once this technology is unleashed, then we’re solidly fucked, because they have a lot more people in India and China, who they could “weaponize” by paying them $1 a day to stand in strategic spots and merely threaten to jump up and down in sequence.

Please God don’t give them chairs, that would doom us all.

This is absolutely ludicrous.
This man is supposed to represent the people of my hometown.

Please, somebody, tell me this is a joke.
Please!

Of course, McKinney was a joke, but not the way I meant.

Egads! The shame!

According to Johnson’s office, he was being dead-pan sarcastic.

Well, that would be a much more believable scenario, of course.

Except that … I just don’t see it. His previous and subsequent questions, which appear to be serious, are asked in exactly the same manner.

And I’d also note, somewhat cynically, that the tone and word choice of the clarification… “…a tipping point which would adversely affect the island’s fragile ecosystem and over burden its already overstressed infrastructure…” is not exactly consistent with his word choice and content when speaking. Of course, many people have a different “voice” when speaking and writing… but on the whole, I am not persuaded.

:dubious: Dude needs to knock off using sarcasm then, because he sucks at it and it makes him sound like an idiot.

Well, that’s even worse. Wasting the American peoples’ time and money with his waggish ways. This is serious business, and we’ve got no time for any dead-pan sarcasm!

(Ironically enough, I feel compelled to point out that the above is intended as dead-pan sarcasm.)