I met my freshman roommate at orientation, where we roomed together for three nights (the program we were in had a special orientation session, where you had to stay at their dorm). These three nights were long enough for both of us to realize the girls in the other room of the suite were psycho and we could do way worse than each other. Also, that we shared the same taste in Stuff. I’m a size sixteen and she’s a size two, so we couldn’t steal each other’s clothes (shoes were a different story, though–she still has my sneakers, I still have her clogs).
We went grocery shopping together and held food in common, and if you ate something that was supposed to be the other person’s, you’d better replace it that day.
Once, she came in drunk with a total stranger and started making out with him. I woke up and pitched a fit, then kicked Mr. McGrabby out, which upset her at the time, but once the hangover wore off she couldn’t thank me enough. In return, she occasionally dragged me away from the computer and made me have, like, a life.
When she decided to live with two friends of hers from the band this year, I decided to live alone rather than risking a hell roommate.
Well, if it worked once before, maybe it’ll work this time, too. If you don’t relent after just one day, or even after one week, maybe he’ll get the hint. The thing is, don’t just revoke his computer access . . . revoke his computer access and tell him exactly why you’re doing it.
If he won’t let you watch TV because “I’m watching <TV show>”, tell him that, since <TV show> obviously deserves his undivided attention, you’ll be using the computer while he watches TV. If he insists on doing both, tell him that you don’t appreciate his monopolizing all the forms of entertainment in the room, and that if he continues to do so, you will have no choice but to lock him out of the computer, so at least you’ll have something to do while he’s watching TV.
Next time he threatens to resort to physical violence, threaten him in return with assault charges. He needs to understand that he’s an adult now, and adults don’t go around giving “tittie twisters” to each other because they don’t get their way. Or you can just be blunt about it and tell him to grow the fuck up already.
And if he gets close to crying, offer him a tissue, but don’t relent.
It sounds to me like this guy needs a dose of reality, and by constantly complying with him, you’re not helping anything. I’m not the most confrontational guy out there – hell, I’m pretty much a wimp – but even I would have had it with this guy by now.
Why do you take that shit from him? Seems like you have a long life of being walked on by people ahead of you. I don’t mean to sound harsh, because you seem like a perfectly nice guy, but you have to lay down the law with this guy. I’m glad to hear that it won’t be much longer though.
Yeah. More details have shed the harsh light of day on roomie - he’s a worthless sack of shit (I’m sure he’s fun during his good times, though :dubious: ) The point still remains that you are not very good at asserting yourself - clearly the dude is a manipulative asshole, but if an 18-year-old threatened tears with me, I’d laugh my ass off.
And my point remains about the passive way you describe things - as though it just sort of happened that he ends up deciding everything that happens in your room. And I can’t believe you let him stop you from watching the one hour of TV you want to a week.
Ah, roommate stories…the bane of Single Life.
My freshman roommate #1 was awesome. We were totally different but we got along great. Roommate #2 was hi-fucking-larious. She was a prissy Beverly Hills spoiled brat who literally did not know how to make bed, iron her clothes, or do laundry. They got into a fight once and I waited until after #1 hit #2 to break it up, just because I thought she deserved it. Then #2 moved out and #3 arrived. Hoo-boy. Super-jesus freak girl did not get along perfectly well with either of us, but we managed.
I then avoided having a roommate for the next 8 years or so.
Then I moved in with my former best friend. We don’t speak now.
Then I lived with psycho lawyer-bitch with the dog that mistook my bedroom for a litter box. That lasted until the lease ran out.
Now I live with my most anal-retentive roommate. She’s really not that bad, except for weird things. Like she gets really mad if I don’t leave the sink drain-seive thingys in the sink AT ALL TIMES. And she turns off the heat (I think to conserve energy) but it’s so damn cold I end up running a space heater in my room 15 hours a day. Last night I turned on the heat, but she turned it off after I went to bed so this morning when I got up it was below 55 degrees in our house. And she insists that we always and I mean ALWAYS leave the window in the bathroom open because “otherwise it gets moldy.” Excuse me but in the middle of the night when the cold air is pouring into my room from under the bathroom door, I don’t give a fuck, I’m shutting the damn window. The next time I find it, she always puts it back. It’s kind of endearing, in a really exasperating eye-rolling way. I’m going to talk to her about the heat issue tonight, though. The house is just too damn cold.
Don’t take the knocking about your assertiveness too hard chaoticdonkey. If you came from a thoughtful or submissive upbringing you have to learn to take a step forward just like Mr. Obnoxious has to learn to take a step back.
Could be worse, my first roomie story:
My spoiled roomie (JerkOff) never seemed to do the dishes on his turn. Always had a big test coming up, no time don’t you see. So one Saturday the “Head Roomate” (Dad owned house) leaves a note on JO’s door: “There are no exams on Sunday, do YOUR dishes!”. JO comes home, minutes later he’s back downstairs asking “Who the fuck left this note on my door!?”.
HR immediately owns up and holy crap, it gets physical in a flash. Massive body builder roomate holds back HR, I hold back JO- who proceeds to turn and hit me in the face. Not liking him much, I try to take this as an oppurtunity to drive his head through the carpet. Long story short- cops break up “house party” and JO was out in 2 weeks. Good riddance.