There is a woman that had an unusual hair clog in her pipe. Her tail pipe that is. Somebody plugged her car exhaust with hair, so it wouldn’t run.
Damn hooligans. She probably told them to get off her lawn. 
“Hair like Jesus wore it; Hallelujah, I adore it!”
I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining
Gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted; Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled and spaghettied!