I have no excess nose hair to speak of. Most of them stay right where they grow, doing their little filtering job just fine.
But, I do have this ONE little mother fucker of a hair that grows out of one nostril, curls around my septum, and heads back up into the other nostril. It shows up every few months or so, and I’ve found the best way to deal with it is to squeeze it between index finger and thumb and give it a quick yank.
So just last night, that little bastard made its presence known to me and I gave it that quick yank. This hurts like a summabitch. Beleeeee DAT!
Anyway, on the one last night, the pain was so sharp that after the pluck, I
[ul]
[li]coughed about 5 times[/li][li]sneezed[/li][li]got a runny nose[/li][li]shed a few tears.[/li][/ul]
That, reader, is one magic nose hair!
Got any good body hair stories?
I got a nice one about how my taint hair gets tied in knots when I jog. It turns out that the hair tangles are stronger than the hair-follicle bonds so when you spread your legs after a run, you tend to violently “pluck” about 100 hairs from the inter-balls-anus zone. hot diggity dingle knot.
When I used to run a lot, I used to try to untangle them in the shower, and even thought a couple of times about getting through the cluster with scissors.
The funny thing about making a decision NOT to try something is that you never know if you were right.
Oh yeah, the fact that I chose to focus on the nose-hair should indicate just how uncomfortable that was.
Where, oh, where, is that vomit smiley?
I have a little bit of hair on my head that curls (everything else is straight) and it looks a bit odd, especially after a shower.
I don’t have much hair on my arms, but on each arm, I have this freakishly long, black hair on the back of each upper arm. I swear it must have been 4+ inches…I should have kept it to see how long it was going to grow, but I yanked em out.
Not a hair story, but I used to have this skin tag sticking out of my back which was barely connected to a thin stalk of flesh. This too, I grew tired of, so I used a disposable scalpel and lopped it off. Hardly hurt at all. But after I did this, I thought the little lump of flesh was kind of interesting, so I put it in a plastic baggie and forgot about it. A week later, I remembered, and when I checked it, it had turned a nasty purplish black. So what did I do?
Tricked my brother into eating it, by convincing him it was a raisin
One of the weirdnesses of my vitamin inbalances is that the outer 1/4 of my eyebrows doesn’t grow; I’ve got a five-o’clock shadow there, so you can see that there’s supposed to be more hair, but it just doesn’t grow past that point. then again, maybe my wife comes along at 2 in the morning and shaves them… nah…
To compensate, the rest of my eyebrow hair just keeps on growing; the ones closer to my nose are 2-3" long, so by just laying them out flat, I get your basic comb-over effect… however, if I sweat and then rub my eyes or anything like that, they go every which way but flat. Remember in David Lynch’s Dune, when the mentats had those huge, bushy eyebrows? That’s what it looks like.
I’ve never had much of a problem with the hair growing (although, granted, I’ve never seen my back, so I have no idea what kind of horrors are going on back there), it’s the hair losing that causes problem. Not in the sense of going bald or anything but in the sense of I seem to be shedding constantly and don’t know how to get rid of it. Whenever I trim my beard, it leaves all kinds of hair residue on every surface in the bathroom (even the mirror – how does that happen?) and I go into full-tilt OCD mode trying to clean it all up and nothing works. Using a paper towel or washcloth just pushes it around and leaves little clumps all over the place. Am I going to have to just go over the edge and get one of those hand-held vacuums?
Everywhere else looks like a barber shop with an inattentive staff. I try vacuuming it all up, but there seems to be some kind of resistance movement of clumps of hair all over the place that refuse to submit.
It was easier when I had a dog; I could just blame it all on him.
Yeah, the taint hair after running is a major bitch. I usually just pull on the knot while holding onto the hairs at the base as best I can. Then I end up with a little knot of hair in my hand and some slightly shorter bits back home. Butt lint is fun, too…
Hrm… my fun hair stories? I frequently get one grey hair growing out of my belly. It just sort of appears in the middle of a clump of regular brown hairs. And I never seem to notice until the little guy is like 2 or 3 inches long. Way longer than my other belly hairs. Sometimes I get them growing out of my back, too. They get longer there because I don´t notice them until I´m scratching and they come over my shoulder.
My old boss got these and one day I just lost control of my brain and reached over and pulled one out. Luckily he was my best friend by that point and we could laugh about it but I still wonder what the heck was I thinking?! :eek:
As for me, I get a couple of long dark hairs growing out of a small mole on my arm, and the requisite occasional demon nipple or neck single hair. They really do come out of nowhere.
One time in college I got this zit under my arm. I tried to ignore it when one day I realized it had a white head with a really strange looking, perfect black circle around it.
So I popped it…and after the typical white stuff came out, out poked this teeny tiny little hair! I grabbed it with a tweezer and pulled - and it unraveled to about 1 1/2 inches long!!! The black circle was my armpit hair, trapped beneath the surface of my skin, running around in circles trying to escape!!! :o
It was perhaps one of the best zit-popping experiences of my life.
I hear ya on the nose pain, Trunk, my story doesn’t involve hair, but it does involve my nose and pain so I figure it’s ok to share in this thread.
I have this little red spider vein thingy extending out of the base of my left nostril. Always bugged me, looks like a teeny tiny nose bleed. Small children point to it and say owwie. So I go to the Doctor to get rid of it.
So the Dr. inserts a tiny little needle into the vein that’s attached to some machine gizmo (this should have tipped me off) and sends an electric current into the vein. This vein is in my nose folks! Ever had electricity shot up your left nostril? I do not recommend this to anyone. Tust me, just don’t do it.
Dr. said I might have to have it done again to get rid of the vein. Uh huh, sure. I’ve learned to live with it.
I cannot believe I’m admitting this, but here goes. It is a source of shame to me, but my eyebrows grow together. Waxing on a very strict schedule is required to keep some semblance of a space between them. I cannot bring myself to write about any of my other hair. I will say, however, that I shed like a fiend. A very hairy fiend. I have very thick head-hair, and it falls out all over. I never seem to have any less hair, however.
I love Ghanima’s trapped armpit hair story. Of course now I have the urge to inspect myself to see if any of my hairs are doing something weird without my knowledge.
