Dear Dr. Pastry Surgeon:
Your diligent efforts to reduce your intake of saturated fat goodies in the lounge has not gone unnoticed. Such deporking activities are the envy of all your colleagues.
Kindly stop surgically debulking the baked treats. If you don’t want part of what you handle, toss out the rest.
It is unappetizing to say the least, to see your dismembered pastry carcasses littering the kitchen. This includes half-Oreos as well as the doughnuts you casually break into segments, leaving the leftovers behind. At least it looks like you did this, rather than gnawing off a hunk and discarding the rest. As this is a hospital, no one knows who or what you have been palpating, and whether you deign to wash afterwards.
I am not even going to dwell on the vileness of scraping off the icing from crullers and leaving the naked remnants.